Liveblogging the Inauguration: Welcoming our 44th President in sweatpants

So here we are, with politicians and dignitaries filing in (including Dick Cheney ... in a wheelchair?) and anticipation building. And now that Oprah is here, we can officially begin our liveblogging coverage of the ceremony and knock two spaces off of our OBAMA BINGO card!

We'll be hopping the channels as the events progress and commenting on our favorite moments, and would love to have you join the discussion with your observations.

Join the fun, after the jump!

Oprah Winfrey and Steadman arrive

11:13AM EST: CBS: Okay, so Cheney is in a wheelchair, which is not in and of itself funny. But the fact that it's because he "pulled a groin muscle" while "moving out"? HILARIOUS.

11:21AM EST: Jimmy Carter just got the full "Medieval Times trumpets" welcome. Must remind him of his childhood? 

11:29AM EST: The first daughters-elect of course look ADORABLE ... but Aretha Franklin what are you thinking?! Maybe since she's the only singer performing today she thinks the size of her bow needs to make up for it? And I'm not loving Laura Bush's Hale-Bopp robe look.

11:31AM EST: CNN: This was all worth it just to hear Anderson Cooper say "Ruffles and Flourishes". And here come Michelle and Jill! Oh to have been a fly on the wall of that dressing room...

11:34AM EST They're booing Bush! Or maybe they're saying "Boo-ush" "Boo-ush". I'm not sure. - snicks

11:41AM EST: CNN: The Bible being used has not bee used since the Inauguration of Abraham Lincoln.

They're bringing out Obama, who looks impossibly composed. Xanax with his coffee, perhaps?  

11:45AM EST: "Ladies and gentlemen ... " ... are you ready to rumble? Seriously, where did they get this announcer?! Obama is introduced as Barack H. Obama. 

11:49AM EST: Senator Dianne Feinstein of California, who famously had to deliver the news to the media that Harvey Milk and George Moscone had been shot and killed, gives the introduction, focusing on the historic nature of the moment. She then introduces Rick Warren. Smattering of applause.

11:52AM EST: CNN: The first two facts in the fact bar at the bottom of the screen noted that Warren's selection was controversial to the gay community and that Warren was a vocal supporter of the proposition to deny gay people of their right to marry in California. 

"And justice for all". Except us, right Rick? "Treat all people with the respect that they deserve"? Shut the hell up. 

Aretha Franklin, with bow

11:58AM EST: Aretha's "My Country 'Tis of Thee" was ... serviceable? But that bow? Transplendent! 

Joe Biden is being sworn in on that Lincoln Bible, which looks like it weighs about 35 pounds. I hope Jill did her curls this week! 

12:00PM EST: So Biden's middle name is "Robinette." Wow, who knew. And why the hell is that crusty curmudgeon Andy Rooney swearing him in? - D.A.

12:02PM EST: And while Yo-Yo Ma plays a John Williams tune, Barack Hussein Obama, while reclining comfortably on a blue chair and listening attentively, becomes the 44th President, by Constitutional decree (he becomes President at noon whether he's been sworn in or not).

12:07PM EST: And moments later Barack Obama takes the oath of office (with a kind of adorable fumble on the wording) and is sworn in. Are those cannons being fired in the distance? Whoa - indeed they are!

Diane Feinstein introduces Obama, and the crowd goes INSANE. Eat it, Rick Warren! 

Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel arrives at the ceremony

12:17PM EST: Obama's speech highlights the challenges ahead but emphasizes that we will accomplish what we set out to do. "We are ready to lead again." 

12:26PM EST: Lots of focus on responsibility, be it global, ecological, fiscal and personal. "A new era of responsibility" to "duties we seize gladly". He ends on a high note about "braving the icy currents" with "eyes on the horizon". Nice!

12:36PM EST: The poem was nice, but I'll leave that to people who know that kind of thing. And why is the benediction being delivered by the creepy old man from Family Guy? Somebody hide Scotty! He does plead for "tolerance, not intolerance". We'll see how that goes.

1:31PM EST: So to finish up, Reverend Lowery wrapped up with some folksy words of inspiration about racial unity that was way more fun than a benediction has any right to be. Afterward, President Obama and Michelle escorted the Bushes to the helicopter that would take them to Executive 1, and CNN repeatedly made the point that they couldn't remember the last time a new President walked the outgoing President out.

The Coop can't get over the fact that Chief Justice John Roberts messed up the oath. Hell, he's had to work live with Kathy Griffin and nothing like that ever went down!  

Towleroad just pointed out that the White House website has already been updated with a lengthy list of LGBT civil rights pledges. 

2:48PM EST: Okay, is anyone still watching this nonsense? Poor Senator Feinstein just had to oversee the ceremonial handing off of the crystal bowls on the sideboard. I'm not sticking around until they get to the ceremonial handoff of the Salad Shooter, Roomba and Shamwows. 

2:52PM EST: Developing: A Senator (as-yet-unconfirmed) has collapsed. It looks like it might be Ted Kennedy. Yep, CNN is confirming it was Ted Kennedy, and Obama spoke words of support and best wishes to him.

3:11PM EST: Good heavens, both Ted Kennedy and West Virginia Senator Robert Byrd (D) have been taken away from the Inauguration Luncheon for medical attention. Senator Kennedy apparently had a seizure of some sort. 

4:07PM EST: Wow, Mr. and Mrs. Obama have gotten out of their car to walk the last few blocks down Pennsylvania Avenue and the noise from the crowd is DEAFENING. This is insane! Insanely awesome!