Misty down! What the Harding is going on with the "Dancing With the Stars" cast?

Seriously, who's killing the great dancers of ABC? Or getting all Nomi Malone on the competition? It's being reported that the frighteningly sturdy Misty May-Treanor has been forced to drop out of the competition due to a "popped" Achilles heel. (Um ... eeew.)

And it seems that pixiesh pro Derek Hough (who partners with Brooke Burke, another statuesque brunette favored to win the season) blacked out after slamming his precociously large head into the floor or something.

I'm sorry, but there are sinister forces at work here. Is it like the Poltergeist curse, where the malevolent spirit of a felled backup singer is picking off the production one by one? Or is someone flesh and blood working behind the scenes to sabotage the contest, Tonya Harding-style? My money's on Leachman ... she's got shifty eyes!

Whatever's going on, our golden boy Lance had better watch his gay backside. I know we will!