Mocha Lounge video blog (Ep. 4): Blogging your love life, unsung civil rights heroes, and more

And props for bringing up Brother Outsider, which is a great crash-course in Bayard Rustin -- a pivotal figure in the civil rights movement, and a Great American, PERIOD!

There's also a wondeful dramatic film Brother to Brother which is a fictional recreation of the Harlem Renaissance -- which was (drumroll please) an LBGT movement! 

 

First and foremost I want to say that I truly can't wait to get online and see when the next installment of 'The Mocha Lounge' is on because I just love you guys. 

You talked to New York's Finest 'Adam Irby', who's blog is insane.  It is honestly pure fire.  He is just an amazing individual, who like the two of you is blazing this trail and basically creating his own opportunity in a world that has gents or counterparts like Perez Hilton, who I can't hate on but it seems to me that Adam is doing the same exact thing, without putting anyone on blast and Adam's blog speaks volumes to me at times. 

I thought your interview with him was everything, informative, fun and just real and super candid without giving away too much.  Adam looks and has that swagger of super producer and part time artist, Pharrel from The N.E.R.D.S.  How cute is Adam?  Just my observation from the outside and maybe I'm way off base but I think there was some serious sparks flowing on that set, between Adam and Rob.  Hmmmmmmmmmm 

You talked about David Ehrenstein, who is just the nicest guy and as sweet as he wants to be.  He left me a message that was so sweet but so real.  His comments about AIDS hit home to me because I'm in my late 30's and it's funny that many of the guys and girls that I used to see around, aren't around anymore.  I don't want to say that it's HIV/AIDS related but many are.  I just remember making out with a guy, when I was much younger and he decided afterwards that he would drop the fact that he was HIV+ on me.  I was about 18 years old and he was in his late 20's and I thought he was cute and extremely nice but I can't lie because I looked at him differently after he told me.  The beauty of him telling me, was just the fact that he told me because he didn't have too.  The odd part was the fact that he didn't tell me right away, which troubled me at that point in time.  I couldn't tell you how I felt because I was still dealing with the fact that I was gay and several of my closest friends at the time, suspected but didn't really know and I was living this dual life.  I realized that there isn't a good time to tell someone that your interested in about everything in your life but there are certain things you have to share right away because it lets the other person(s) know who they are really dealing with.  I used to think if I would have dated him or went all the way with him, if he wouldn't have told me?  I never put too much thought into it because I got to know him as a person and he is just 'That Guy' and the sad part is that many people don't want to be 'That Guy' because it comes with so much responsibility.  However he had his own beauty salon and had nice clothes, cars and was this social butterfly like no other.  The sad part was the fact that all the things that he had and worked for could have been the reason didn't mean too much to him because he was more of this guy like many of us that was out there looking for that one person to be with.  One person to share his life with but it seems that at that moment in his late 20's he was tired of looking and then with his HIV status he was in limbo.  I found him to be this amazing person because of the fact he wasn't dying of HIV but he was living with HIV and taking all the necessary steps to live.  We ended up being really close at one moment in time and I have to say that him and I exchanges a few gentle and sweet moments, talking, laughing and 'Yes' even cuddling or spooning.  Thinking of him and talking about him makes me wonder because I haven't seen him for a long while, I pray he is ok. 

Is sex overrated?  I don't know how to answer that because it seems that I have 'hooked up' with people that I know I didn't care for or they didn't care for me and that is a real thing.  Don't want to openly be the self-proclaimed King or Queen of One-Night Stands but if the crown fits, I guess I have to wear it.  However, I know that I'm more off a romantic guy, I like bubblebaths, deep tissues massages and scented candles with incenses all-around.  I would appreciate a bit of a soundtrack like Debarge's 'Time Will Reveal' playing softly in the background, while we sip on some spirits like some inexpensive wine or even bubbly but if funds are really low then a nice bottle of brown juice to set the mood, wouldn't hurt.  I love to explore and be explored and I realized that I do have insecurities that at times, get the best of me.  Sometimes it's tough being comfortable in your skin, when your completely naked and extremely vulnerable but when your completely stripped down and alone with someone that you have already mixed chemicals with, there is no room for any more errors.  I'm so sorry to be so frank but I tried my damnest to be that insatiable lover or that other half of someone's whole and I put on a damn show because I'm going to do the damn thing and try everything in my powers to do it right.  I don't try to hold back too much and I reveal the real me, the hard on the outside yet soft and gentle on the inside.  The beauty of me is the fact that you would never find another person that loves to make love and knows the differences between sex and love-making. 

I realized that I had sex without any feelings and I never regretted it but if I could take back some of those episodes, I would and I know that many of the people that I have engaged in my legendary one-night stand with, would probably do the same.  However, when I made love with someone that I really liked, cared for and even loved, it was 'Magically'.  It's that sweet taste that you can't get enough of and just stays with you and every now and then you think about and just get goosebumps or chicken skin.  With all that said and being happy and unhappily single, I just got a whiff of the fact that maybe sex is overrated but love isn't. 

On that note, I want to wish you guys and all the wonderful men and women that love you, the way that I do a beautiful Christmas and a prosperous, yet joyous and peaceful upcoming new year.  New loves, new adventures but mainly finding the new and improved you.     

LOL @ Curtis. Whatever sparks you saw between me and Adam were a part of my incredibly amazing on-air hosting talents! I'm in a relationship! That's how rumors get started... BTW, I'm really glad you're enjoying the Lounge! We're trying to build up our viewership, so by all means tell your friends! We switched some things up for the season finale hitting on 1/5, and I think you guys are gonna like it.

as he simply does not get the credit he deserves, both as a civil rights pioneer and as a gay man. Naturally, it's hard not to suspect the reason he doesn't get discussed more by the traditional media is exactly because he was so out and that makes it so much harder to ignore when teaching about civil rights.

And kudos for still talking about safe sex!