This week Daniel Leary tackles a topic familiar to most of us: How and when (or when not) to come out to your boss.
Since Daniel doesn't know from office politics, he enlists the help of Michael Wright, EVP and Head of Programming for TNT. Michael's one of those straight-type people, but he's got some great tips on keeping your work environment happy and healthy, and also discusses why the world of television should reflect the real world, gay folks included.
Enjoy!
Submitted by
on Wed, 2009-04-22 10:24.
You are so adorable Daniel
Keep up the great work! We would be sad to lose you, but when is Logo (or some other channel) going to give you your own show?
Take your cue from the heteros
I am 25 now, and I have been working since I was 18. I have worked at fast food restaurants, video rental stores (remember those), book stores (again, try to remember), and a government office building. I came out in all those environments, but I never once made it into some important announcement. My sexuality came up whenever my co-workers' sexual orientation came up.
If no one at work talked about their sexuality, I did not mention mine. However, straight people usually bring up sex or sexual attraction at some point when you talk to them, so I was always honest about what gender I was attracted to. I always treated it no differently than talking about my vegatarianism or agnosticism. It is a very important piece of my personality, but no different than any other part of what makes me who I am.
Sad face
Policy doesn't matter
He chose to quit, which is what the boss wanted all along. He didn't want the stigma and hassle of fighting it. It is a new kind of discrimination.
Company policy isn't a guarantee that a company is actually behind that policy or even care about discrimination. For some of them it's just words on paper.
did you watch the video?
Michael Wright is cool
I should have commented on the fact that Michael Wright was thoughtful and informative. He's a true friend.
My point by illustration of experience was that having a policy in place does not mean that you will be protected by a company and that trying to enforce said policy may not be in your own best personal interest. You need to be aware of that when you come out, that the perceived protections might vanish. I know my brother would have come out regardless.
But he has learned, like we all have, that a penalty might come with comming out. We are not alone in that. Who else learns that about the penalties? The straight people like the friends he left behind at his previous place of employment. He's moved on. They also felt the sting of his dismissal, if you will, perhaps as much as he did. However, the policy wonks at that company were unfazed.
When you come out at work it's like making a stand, it shouldn't be but it is. It's like Counting Coo: you are all in. That's what I'm trying to say . Don't depend on HR to back up your life or your rights. You are gay. When we come out we say that we are willing to face the discrimination and hopefully learn and make good choices because of those lessons that we learn not in spite of them.
My suggestion is that gay folks look into themseves, and if you're ready to come out then that means that you're ready to take the joys that come with that as well as the pains society inflicts.
The fact that your boss might be accepting today doesn't matter, because your boss can and will probably change, but you will still be out at work.
Isn't that what I said?
What you said was...
Please forgive me if my answer to your last question fell short or if your question was meant to be rhetorical.
A great video about a touchy subject