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News, Reviews & Commentary on Gay and Bisexual Men in Entertainment and the Media

Mores for Gays video blog (Ep. 20): The Ex Factor

Can you be friends with an ex boyfriend? In this episode Daniel discusses the ins and outs of a relationship after a relationship, with a very special guest: his friend Michael Baldwin, who has rare insight into Mr. Leary's ideas in action.

Check it out after the break!

Nate's picture

I guess I will have to watch this again

After watching this VLOG, I couldn't remember what the whole point was. All I can see is you two are SO CUTE together! I want to know, have you had more sex AFTER the break-up? My guess is probably!
David Ehrenstein's picture

I kept expecting the two of you to jump each other's bones

Yes, that's how big of a slut I am

 

Seriously a friend of mine once said "When gay guys break up they go shopping." In Best Case Scenarios this is true. But far from always. Yet it's possible. Marcel Proust was so madly in love with Reynaldo Hahn that he nearly got arrested for trying to break into Han's flat while he was away (He reproduced this event in Swann in Love when Swann tried to break into Odette's flat) But he got over it and they became friends for life.

 

Here's the opening sequence of the movie I consider to be the greatest ever made. Two of its principle characters break up -- and discover that they both have been involved with a third guy. And yes, there's a happy ending.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yazHYvkgtZ0

 

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Dean's picture

David, you are NOT a slut….

David you are not a slut, as is also pointed out by Nate above as you both, as well as I have come to the same conclusion, these two still have some “history” as well as some feelings that they have not gotten over.  They both make a very cute couple.  And YES it’s true we all do go shopping!  Trust me, I’ve been there enough that my credit cards are warn out!  Oh, and I enjoyed the movie, it WAS wonderful! 

I want to ask both Daniel and Michael…. Per Michael you both were ”very young” when you got together.  How young is young?  Were you both still in Pampers at the time?   Daniel you don’t look older than 25 and Michael, right up until you took off the hat you looked 12 years old.   Neither of you look old enough to have a past more or less have gotten through more than one relationship since you broke up as that should have been yesterday!

This was a wonderful point of view that made me realize that with the exception of a couple of my past relationships, I could still be friends if they wanted to be.  Keep em coming, I am really enjoying the blogs!

Brent Hartinger's picture

Wow

You were together 3 months? It's obvious now that you aren't right for each other. Isn't it WEIRD how we can never see that at the time? ;-) Great blog!

 

 

 

Read my books! Explore "Brent's Brain" at http://www.brenthartinger.com no votes

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the herald's picture

I think their chemistry is great.

I have no trouble seeing them as a couple.  And Daniel was hilarious as usual.
David Ehrenstein's picture

Wait until I finish writing my memoirs--

Then you'll find out exactly how much of a slut I am.

 

Daniel and Michael remind me of a couple I had a three-way with back in what Brad Gooch so aptly calls The Golden Age of Promiscuity (ie. the early 70's)

RJ's picture

You two are hilarious!

"This is all getting cut." I kept cracking up while watching the vlog.

Just as Nate and David were also wondering, I gotta ask... are you and Michael "friends with benefits"? Inquiring minds want to know. :P

I should amend that to "were you..." so as not to get you in trouble with your current significant other, Daniel.

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tim's picture

Three things...

1. I had to watch this clip three times because your chemistry is just so much fun that you two deserve a regular vlog. 2. Seriously, how old are the two of you? 22? I, like Dean, wonder. 3. Michael Baldwin is so cute!

Oh, and lastly, loved it!

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AddisonDewitt's picture

Friends are possible

Daniel and Michael you are right about the etiquette of this. However, I think you have to go about it person by person and not necessarily as a template for the situation. My 1st bf and I broke up two weeks before we were to move into a new apartment. We went ahead with it and in the end the closeness mixed with new rules about food, laundry, and sleeping conditions ended up making the next year a time for healing and what is now a life long friendship. The messy ending of bf #2 was a different situation (what is it about bfs #2???). Now my partner and Bf #1 are friends and all is happy in gay land. We still push the old buttons from time to time, but in the end broken relationships sometimes are great friendships because there was a reason you got together beyond just the sexual attraction if it ended up as a LTR.
Dean's picture

Has any one noticed.....

that Michael looks kinda... ( and I know.... kinda like pregnant, kinda like dead....) like Johnny Galecki?  They both have the same great smile!  Just an observation!
Nate's picture

....Yes you are right

Michael does look like Johnny Galecki, but way cutier! And Daniel is dreamy.......swoon.
David Ehrenstein's picture

I am SO over the moon about Johnny Galecki!

You're absolutely right.
Dee Bun Bun's picture

Argh

 

 Darn it, they are cute together arnt they.

Daniel - cute as ever

Micheal - cute also, looks like Johnny Galecki ( who is Johnny Galecki?)

But, my question is, what does Daniel look like without the stubble-beardy-wolverini-inacuteway?

 

Dean's picture

What do you mean "who is Johnny Galecki?"

OMG!  Have you been living under a rock? LOL!!!   I wouold recommend looking him up on either Yahoo or Google for this profile!  If you image him, you'll even see him in his "altogether"..... "who is Johnny Galecki?"  A very accomplished, very cute actor who has done stage, screen, tv, ...... does this sound rather...... obsessed....... LOL!
Michael 's picture

awww

I loved his ex boyfriend! he seems fun. are you lookin at that or that?<--- this would so be a question I would ask! it seems like daniel had a hard time with michael towards the end. all this is getting cut! I wonder what the actual bloopers where like!  I can honestly say that watching these two was better than watching luke and noah. ok I still paid attention despite the hot distractions, and I gotta say, from my point of view, it makes me feel like the current relationship Im in is doomed, does the first guy last? maybe Im too young or too inexpirenced but I cant help but feel like Im in this relationship for nothing, btw it just started, no fights yet, its hot, but should I not get too attatched, what if not getting too attatched becomes the problem? I dont know what to do besides live in the moment, but I still want to avoid any possible incoming pain, is this even possible?
Nukely's picture

does it need to last if it's beautiful right now?

They say you never forget your first and for some it does indeed last. But does that matter? If it ends it ends. He could be struck by lightning -then it surely won't last. So, you have to hold onto every moment you have right now, all the good ones and make them the best moments. Or try to even make them better, one way to that is to stop fretting about pain or problems or fights, unless you're into that. But don't be afraid of it either.

 

The first major fight usually comes down to something like "Why didn't you tell me you don't like loud music." "You never asked." If you want it to last and work you'll find a way to talk about those things without throwing a cold bucket of water on the relationship but also without letting them turn into volcanos.

 

Dean's picture

Listen to Nukely......

 Listen to  Nukely, you've got to communicate.  Dont' give up before you start and yes it can last and no you don't want to not get attached.  You've BOTH got to be honest with yourselves and with each other.  Listen to someone who did exactly the opposite in his first relationship and it ended horribly.  Unlike Nukely, I believe that it can last but it's important for both of you to want it to last.  If your BF is in it for the short hall, i.e. until the heat ends, then you have to make up your mind whether to stay in it until it ends or end it now and look for someone that wants the same thing you want.Frankly I think Michael was the one in the relationship that was just in it for the short hall, and was the one that wanted to bounce from one to another and wasn't and still isnt' ready to settle down with one person.  You've got to want that and stop looking for the "next" best thing around the corner.