It's official: New York is the Herb Tarlek of the Northeast

 
The cast of WKRP in Cincinnati

With New Hampshire becoming the seventh state in the Union to legalize same-sex marriage (and sixth where it remains legal, thank you very much California), I have to set aside my Brooklyn pride and admit it:

New York is the loud, mirror-loving d-bag in the newsroom who thinks he's hip but is actually wearing a polyester leisure suit that's about ten years out of style.

Think about it: In the last year alone, the trend-setting Empire State has been passed by Vermont, Connecticut, Maine, and now ... New Hampshire. New Hampshire. Can anyone name anything that has ever come from or happened in New Hampshire? Truly, if the Northeast were the WKRP newsroom, New Hampshire would be myopic nerd Les Nessman, and even he got his shit together before good old Herb did.

When will Herb toe the line with glamorous Jennifer (Massachusetts, with her "Fly Me to the Moon" doorbell and cavernous cleavage), spunky Andy (Maine, with the flannel shirts and all), tuned-out Dr. Johnny Fever (Vermont, duh) and even stodgy old Mr. Carlson (Connecticut)? (Bailey's Delaware has yet to get on board, and Venus Flytrap never sets down roots, you dig?)

Who knows. But for now my home state is a punchline on par with a loud plaid or an overly wide tie, and I hope I won't have to live with it for long. I pay these exorbitant rents to be hip, dammit!

Oh ... and congrats, Les. Better start working on your pronunciation of "chihuahua". You're gonna need it.