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"Project Runway" recaplet (5.04): Ohno they didn't...
This week's Project Runway was all about the Olympics. The topic was of zero interest to most of the designsketeers, so it's probably not surprising that the episode wasn't one of the best, with more forced catchphrasing, more tired outfits, and some unconvincing workroom drama. On the bright side, we also got two of the most hilariously inappropriate designs in the history of the series, and our first real tears during the judging. So toss your schadenfreude in your gym bag, sling it over your shoulder, and come with me. We're going to the Olympics! Oh ... well, actually, we're going to a big track and field center that looks like the facility where my parents would send me every summer for "sports camp" (more on that some other time ... you bring the tequila and the tissues). I'd like to say that they look uniformly horrified, but in truth it's pretty much Team Gay and the Girls, Interrupted who seem afraid that they're going to be purse-napped by a speed skater or something. Mighty Joe Straight, Korto and Terri are completely thrilled to be there. Take note. Tim tells them that they're going to have to run laps or something and suddenly a tiny little blur comes zooming at them from nowhere on rollerblades. Hey, it's ... it's ... okay, I have no idea. A singing telegram? An escaped Xanadu chorus boy? No, it's Apolo Ohno, gold medalist in speed skating. Yes, this challenge will be Olympics-themed! Seriously, just look at the faces of these kids. It's like someone told them that they're going to spend the day organizing Michael Kors's bronzers. Speaking of bronze, let's just get Blayne out of the way for the week so we don't have to think about him anymore, shall we? He's quickly become the most annoying contestant ever, which is probably his intention. This episode focuses on his tanning fixation, which is as foreign to my pasty ass as the Olympics are to him. He points out that he tans every other day, noting that "some people to to the gym, I go tanning," and suggests that his lack of tanning time is making him weak. What is he, Wall-E?
So the designsketeers are set loose in the Museum of Olympic Fashion or whatever (it's a small room, believe me) and some of them gravitate to some questionable designs from the turn of the century that don't exactly scream "Olympics!" to me. One picture looks like a bunch of Minnie Pearl impersonators at an Easter egg roll. Another looks like it was taken at one of those old-timey pizza parlors where they have unicycles on the walls. Okay, this could get awesome real fast. Back in the workroom, things get ugly (in more ways than one). Mighty Joe Straight tells Tim he's working on a "skort" ... for a second I'm like, isn't that one of those spoons you get with your mashed potatoes at KFC? How she gonna wear that?! This is not a skort Finally, four weeks in, we get some workroom drama. It seems that Daniel and Kelsey (Kitchy? Kitt Kittredge?) are too loud for the other designers, particularly Mighty Joe Straight. His general level off pisstivity is raised to the point where he actually snaps at Daniel for daring to sit at "his" sewing machine (in a room with about 20 empty machines, mind you). Daniel is floored, and Joe tells the cameras that you're going to have drama with that many "queens" in the workroom. Ohno he didn't. Meanwhile, the designs for the opening ceremonies are putting the "special" in the Olympics, for the most part. Half of the outfits look like something out of a fetish production of Oklahoma! and others look like the Pussycat Dolls designed a line of motorcycle leathers. Actually, if you combined the two it would make for a hot exploitation flick...
Top row: Stella, Joe, Blayne; Bottom row: Kelli, Jerell Seriously, Jerell's outfit is one of the hottest things I've ever seen in my life. It's like somebody Shipoopi'd all over the poor girl. The Best: I'm thrilled that Korto and Terri get the top two spots. Because their designs are pretty hot and because honestly, I love that the two black women in the competition excelled at a challenge that was all about strength, beauty, and athleticism while all the Girls, Interrupted fell flat. That, and they beat out Joe, who has become my Napoleonic nemesis. Korto deservedly took the top spot with this number:
I think it's pretty fierce. It's patriotic without literally slapping USA! on it (like Joe did), it's athletic without looking like a Sporty Spice knockoff, and it's still chic and modern. Nice. The Worst: Aside from the Hee-Haw Girls (seriously, I just started laughing every time they cut to them during the elimination), Daniel's "what-the-eff-does-this-have-to-do-with-ANYTHING" cocktail dress and Jennifer's librarian picnic outfit were definitely lowlights. Just take a look at what Daniel whipped up: Daniel's design
Really? Wait, really?! It's bad enough that the dress has zero to do with the Olympics, athletics, or the United States as a country, but did you really have to make the poor girl look like Margaret Russell from Top Design? Bottom three: Daniel is reduced to tears on the runway (hey, it builds character). Jerell looks like he's about to cry. Actually, with that hat on he looks like he's about to sell me a box of Thin Mints, but that's another story. Michael Kors wonders if the challenge was explained to them in a different language ... no, that would be Shear Genius. The Eliminated: Finally it's decided that Jennifer will go home ... which is a shock to me, because while her outfit wasn't the least bit Olympic, at least it was wearable, as opposed to Daniel's. But hey, Team Gay avoided culling two weeks in a row, so I'm happy. Jennifer's losing design Keith-O-Meter Down from last week, unfortch. But we did get some shirtless Keith and learned that he was a competitive gymnast, which sends the mind wandering in all sorts of NSFW directions. But Keith was also accused of "stealing" fabric selections from Lynn ... which he didn't even use in his design. Hmm. Developing... Planet RunGay Status Check We're still five gays and going strong this week, with the two gays in the bottom three barely squeaking by. Hopefully next week the challenge will be less Olympic and more ... fabulous? At any rate, Planet RunGay's Ferosh-Yet-Benevolent Overlord is calm this week, but those lasers can flare up at any time...
Submitted by on Thu, 2008-08-07 10:02. |
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Whackadoodle!
I thought Joe and Korto were by far the best, I'm glad Korto won but I still think Joe was better.
I don't even remember what Suede made, but his Whackadoodle more than made up for his boring. I'm already using the stupid thing.
at least there were three
at least there were three laugh out loud moments: the expression on Tim Gunn's face when Blayne didn't get the Sgt Pepper reference. Jerell's outfit ( I actually loved it - if the challenge had been to design a show piece for some over the top tongue-in-cheek-retro collection... ) and Jennifer's final comment about her surrealistic impact on the show (she genuinely seems to believe herself - oh dear).
and it was the first challenge where I didn't find all of the outfits hideous. I would have prefered Terri's to take the top spot - she's my favorite to win the whole thing at the moment. That jacket was one fine work for the limited amount of time they had.
As to your Keith love: someone should have told him that it wasn't the winter olympics...
I'll probably be in the minority...
But I thought Korto's outfit was dull. And I thought her runway comment about being "all about '08" - a not-too-thinly veiled jab at her competitors - was juvenile. Terri's was the best, I thought. Joe's wasn't bad, but he annoyed me with his "queens" comment so I'm glad he didn't win.
I, too, loved the Sergeant Pepper moment - what an ass Blayne is - and I also thought Neenagarcia's comment about "Mary Had a Little Lamb" was dead-on.
But it was far from the best challenge results-wise. Does anyone know how to catch a flight to the Republic of Cocktail-land?
Her name isn't Lynn
Actually, the other African American woman's name is Terri, there is no designer named Lynn. I know this season is a complete train wreck, but at least the names could be easily fact checked prior to posting.
http://www.bravotv.com/Project_Runway/season/5/bios/index.php
I liked the episode
I may have just been giddy from eariler in the day, but I found the show so funny and entertaining. Blayne just made me laugh. He moved from annoying to funny. "I just want to go tanning . . . please." and "Please let me go tanning" written on the chalkboard. Then there was Suede's third person, "Suede loves-it." And I laughed at every mention of leather. It was leathuh. lol. There must have been fumes wafting in because I just enjoyed it way to much.
What is up with Project Runway? Yawn-inducing and flat
Suggestions:
1) Have Heidi reveal who she's wearing this week when she first appears on the show. This week she had an awesome dress that would quality in Nina's least of having the potential to look cheap, but it rocked (IMHO). In many cases it's the work of previous contestants, why not showcase them in a show about fashion?
2) Just make the designer who loses take his model with him as, with the exception of the MF Walk-off and one season that showcased the models more, so many challenges in recent times have not even involved them and who survives does not add any excitement to the festivities.
3) More sowing/designing, less hiding of some garments, and more judging as I, for example, would have liked to hear what the judging through of Cher's leatha and Blayne's pink and light blue neon lines. I did not like them but it would give the judges an opportunity to walk us through all the work and get some more zingers at almost bottom 3-worthy work and/or highlight nice touches that we'll never understand.
4) Leave Mood. Stop revealing who the judges are. Stop giving away so much in the spoilers that it makes it clear who'll be in the top/bottom 6, with a good indication of who is in the bottom 3.
5) More talented designers chosen based on their ability to work within the context of the show. A quick-mind, sewing skills, and the ability to do what the do in a limited time.
6) If you are going to bring delusional contestants on the show, at least make them marginally funny. The "Surrealist" granola girl not only has a lookalike but she was charm-free and just not at all up to the task.
7) This week's show: I liked that the sistahs were 1 and 2 as I liked their stuff. The straight guys was OK but it was pointed out the the skirt had major problems.
8) Get Laura Bennett a show on Bravo! I have a fondness for her season and seeing her Wonder Woman Saturn ad reminded me of how much I used to like this show.
Guillermo's Media Guillotine: Entertainment, journalism, politics, and popular culture.
http://springintoaction.typepad.com
I thought
it was very boring, too. I fast-forwarded through most of it until the runway. And while I get that it's her signature line, do we really need to hear, every week, "As you know, in fashion, one day you're in and the next day, you're out."
And yeah, the models... who cares? We never get to know them, so who cares which ones stay or go?
So far this season, I just don't care so much.
I don't think its Bravo's fault...
You said, "I know that there is all this talk of how badly Bravo is handling the show and these assumptions that its on purpose to sabotage the show..."
If anything, I think, the production company is doing it not the network. Back in April it was announced that Project Runway was moving to Lifetime after season 5, http://www.eonline.com/news/article/index.jsp?uuid=3b134fad-bdd8-48f9-a2e6-89c12bef0c28 . Talk about drama.
Other than that I agree with you points on changes to freshen up the show. And, yes, Laura needs her own show. Unlike Michael and the gang I do love her plunging necklines and feather trimmed cocktail dresses.
Another Laura B. fan!!!! <My day is looking up>
With regard to my comments about Bravo, you are absolutely right that it's made by Bravo's favorite production company so they are the ones creating the show. The critique has extended not only to the show itself but to how Bravo did not market it is it did in the past, apparently put all the season's challenges/judges on it's Web-site right before the show premiered and who the heck knows what else to "ruin the show."
My take is that the production company made the best show it could and that Bravo is neither a victim nor a crucifier in this as this is all about business, and even with a crappy show that was moved to a new night, the ratings have been better than in the last cycle. I don't get the ratings part as no one I know is into it anymore.
In my mind even though Chistian Siriano has talent to boot, the Ulie, Jeffrey, Michael (chocked), and Laura season was as good as it got in terms of show quality. I am even missing Angela's mother these days and a snarky rossette remark.
Guillermo's Media Guillotine: Entertainment, journalism, politics, and popular culture.
http://springintoaction.typepad.com
Talking out of your butt, maybe...
but I'd totally watch your proposed Laura Show. She was the best designer overall on Season 3, despite the judges claiming she was designing too "old" - my second favorite moment of the season was when she griped wittily to Tim about being forced to design for the Olson Twins. (My favorite? Her off-handed comment about beng pregnant with her fifth? sixth? kid: "Ah, I'll just toss it onto the pile.")
Laura Bennett and the Olsen twins....
She also rocked the house with her ability to get in the gutter with the trashiest of contestants and she loves the gays even more than Kathy Griffin. She's making bucks designing for pregnant ladies, so I hope that she has a sitter to take care of the tots, turtle poop, and older gentleman who looked to be not cool enough to be her hubby.
Olsen twins: I do meander but there was a new connection (albeit it beyond slight) as every week I keep thinking that the guest host if going to be one of those little flying monkeys as every time the "designers" leave their plush (NOT) dorm rooms, they seem to edit the same tired "newsstand" shot as the same cover of Elle, which of course has one of those munchkins. That her into the same pile with the kids....
Guillermo's Media Guillotine: Entertainment, journalism, politics, and popular culture.
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Bwa ha ha ha -- Hilarious Recap
Brian,
These recaps are the highlight of my week. I make myself watch the show night of (in real time no less!) so I can read the recaps when they first go up. Total brilliance, esp. "organizing Michael Kors' bronzers."
I think we have a villain for this season -- mighty Joe "I've got to win this one for my athletic daughters" Straight. How much did it kill me that his design actually was decent. I think I hated the smug look on his face more than that dumb "queens" comment and his pointless, ridiculous griping over Daniel. I'd love to see any of those queens take him down a notch or two.
What on earth would possess
What on earth would possess any woman to wear a skort? I just don't get it. Capris I understand. Skorts, not so much.
Okay, So
I spent most of the my day waiting for the new episode of PR to show and can I just say that I was completely let down?
Okay first, I had to hear the Oompa Loompa complain about not being allowed to tan and how it was making him weak. Somehow, I don't think it's the lack of tanning that's making you weak.
Joe is pretty much what I would expect from the unsuspecting straight guy who goes on a fashion design show, not realizing that THE ENTIRE SHOW IS INHABITED BY QUEENS! To be honest, if he didn't know, he knows now and maybe he'll learn to tolerate the fact that we gays have had some hold on the fashion industry for a while now. :-)
*calmly gets off the soapbox*
Anyway, I was actually very impressed with Korto's design and I would say that I would wear her outfit to the Olympics (if cooking were an Olympic sport). And yeah, she gets to be a bit bitchy about the rest of the contestants, its in the reality show bible. Jerrell and Daniel's outfits made me want to crawl under the covers and not come out again until the year was once again 2008. It wasn't just scary it was SCURRY!
Alas, I'm kind of glad that Jennifer left, she was way to sweet hearted for this show and if she had stayed, I think the runway would have been soaked in her tears (possibly blood), from the lashings she would have gotten for her conservitive good girl designs. Much luck to her in any case.
I was really hoping for more this episode, but as I've said before it appears the people involved in PR aren't really putting much into this season before the jump to Lifetime. Michael Kors and Nina Garcia look absolutely bored with the whole thing and poor Tim is kind of stuck walking in and out of the room almost seeming to pretend to care, like he was interrupted by the producers during a meeting with the staff at Liz Claiborne.
I hope that the coming episodes will be better and that they finally let the Oompa Loompa get his friggin' tan so he'll shut up and actually design something.
"Sometimes I wish I could act like a Boy"
"Na Maste Bitches"
Favourite quote of the
Favourite quote of the night was Tim's reaction to Joe's red/blue zippers, 'Oh, there is some wit to that'. Though it's hardly as good written down.
There's something about Kenley's teeth that really bug me. And why does Blayne insist on the barely-up hoods? he looks like his head is about to melt into his shoulders.