Queerview television guide for the weekend of May 25th

You don't need me to tell you that this weekend is really about getting together with friends and family, taking time to reflect on our nation's heroes, and officially welcoming the arrival of the warm-weather months (usually by scraping off the barbecue and knocking back a few cold ones). But in the event that you find yourself locked in a small dark room with nothing but a television equipped with basic cable (and DVR! What is this, a torture chamber?!), here are a few gay pics to make the chalkmarks fly by.

Friday

The Big Gay Sketch Show (Logo) 7:00PM and 7:30PM EDT
If you haven't seen the BGSS yet, there's no better time to catch up than when you're getting ready for dinner or a night on the town or Bible study class or what-have you. And the first of these back-to-backs features the very funny Rachel Ray in New York sketch and one of my faves. the evil airline desk agent.

The Tonight Show with That Guy (NBC) 11:35PM EDT
It's no secret, I can't stand Jay Leno and his decades-stale brand of "you young crazy whippernappers with your rock and roll and matchin' shoes!" humor. Case in point: the continued appearances of Ross the Intern, who in my opinion is treated like a punching bag more often than not in these segments. Might be worth tuning in to see how insulting the self-professed macho men will be tonight.

Saturday

Shear Genius Marathon (Bravo) 10:00AM EDT
In the leadup to next week's season finale, Bravo is airing every episode of the surprisingly entertaining Shampoo Opera back-to-back. Not a bad way to kill some hours, if only to revisit the glorious crazy of Dr. Boogie. Oh -- and I would have recommended Rene Fris' appearance this morning on Today, but there's no way I would recommend anyone getting up at 5AM on a Saturday for anything, period.

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (IFC) 8:00PM EDT
Sexploitation master Russ Meyer's only studio picture (penned by Roger Ebert, of all people, and proudly bearing no relation whatsoever to the original), Beyond is probably one of the 10 most amazingly crazy movies ever made (and yes, it even beats Baby Geniuses). Gays, lesbians, transgendered superheroes, and one of the most legitimately awesome original soundtracks ever recorded (long live the Carrie Nations!) make this an absolute must-see, full stop. As the amazing Z-Man puts it (long before Austin Powers borrowed the line), "this is my happening and it freaks me out!"

Sunday

Polyester (IFC) 9:45PM EDT
John Waters' classic (which stars Divine, of course, as well as gay former matinee idol Tab Hunter) screens tonight -- wow, is IFC getting their camp on this weekend, or what? You can recreate the infamous "scratch-and-sniff" promotion that accompanied the film in theatres by setting up your own smelly items at home. Although, for your sake, I would hope that you don't have some of the scents handy...

Monday

Oh, come on -- go outside and get some sun. You've been looking a bit pasty anyway.