The Yuletide Gay: Share your most memorable holiday story

 
Santa wants your Christmas to be faaaaaabulous!

The holidays are a time for reflection (even Mardi Gras, when that reflection is seen in a puddle of beer). And with that in mind we thought we'd open a thread here for folks to share their favorite (or least favorite) holiday memories, look back at the year that was, or share any other thoughts as 2008 draws to a close.

To get the ball rolling I'll briefly share my three most embarrassing Christmas memories, after the jump. Because nothing says "Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus" like blood, vomit and shitting the bed!

Alright, I actually have several rather mortifying Christmas memories. The first I can recall was getting the flu when I was six, the year that my parents got my brother and I an Intellivision game system. They dragged me out of bed and downstairs and propped me in front of the box, which I promptly puked on. Check, please!

Years later, when I was in college and back visiting my family in Iowa, I was able to put myself in the emergency room on Christmas Eve when, while trying to get one of those damned plastic footy-things off the leg of a folding chair, I stabbed myself in the face with a screwdriver, missing my right eye by less than an inch. My brother insisted on accompanying me to the hospital to watch them stitch me up and I'll never forget the look on his face when he realized just how elastic skin is.

On the plus side, holidays with the extended family was considerably easier to take when jacked up on painkillers.

In 2002 I went home for Christmas with my fella Andy, who had never been to Iowa and had never met my extended family. Things went swimmingly until, while on our way to my grandmother's house, I became suddenly, fiercely ill. I never made it to grandma's, and poor Andy spent four whole days watching Trading Spaces marathons with my parents while I vomited and crapped myself downstairs.

Lucky for him my dad makes a mean Bloody Mary.

So I'm sure lots of folks have even better stories that maybe don't involve quite as many bodily fluids. Anyone care to share?