Wow.

Remember those rumors floating that Perez Hilton might have been one of the contenders for the open slot on The View? We can pretty much consider those as dead as the poodle skirt.

As we mentioned earlier in the Queerview, Hilton appeared on The View today and the segment consisted almost entirely of Elisabeth, Joy, Whoopi, and Sherri criticizing him for being a shameless muckraker. It was pretty amazing -- not only did the ladies not press Hilton for any gossip (which, considering that's all he's good for, essentially rendered him useless), but they also ignored his "big exclusive breaking news" that he's got a series of one-hour shows coming to VH1 (they didn't even dignify the news with a response) and continually attacked him for his methods and apparent lack of a soul of any kind.

Elisabeth confronted Hilton for calling her "Elisabitch" and for once came across as the more balanced and intelligent part of the argument, and Whoopi laid out for Perez exactly how uncomfortable the bed that he's made is going to be to sleep in down the road.

Choice lines:

Joy: How much do you make off [your website]?
Perez: A lady doesn't discuss her finances.

(Right ... a "lady" gets famous for drawing semen and scrawling "GAY!" on photos of famous people)

Perez: VH1 has ordered a series of one-hour specials from me, so I'm gonna be, like, their gay Barbara Walters!

(Good thing Barbara wasn't there, or she would likely have slapped the gay right off his face. Barbara was of course off drawing semen on photos of famous people.)

Joy: Doesn't that scare you, that people wanna kill you?
Perez: Um ... no. Because it's Jesse Metcalfe, he's not really gonna kill me.

(Memo to Jesse Metcalfe: if ever there were a bluff to call, this would be it)

Sherry: You will call out people as far as if they're gay or not ... is that fair?
Joy: What is your motivation for telling that someone's gay?
Perez: Well I considering it reporting something that I know to be true -- and I'm all about equalizing and normalizing.
Elisabeth: Isn't it their choice?
Perez: It is their choice. Look at someone like Clay Aiken -- he still has not said he is, and a lot of people will continue to believe him. I never forced a gun to someone's head ...
Joy: This is how I feel about it: Let's say it's a politician voting against gay a marriage and he happens to be gay -- I say go after him, because he's a hypocrite. Somebody like Clay Aiken, WHO CARES?
Perez: But it would be hypocritical of me not to treat everyone the same. Why should I not report about Lance Bass and his boyfriend the same way US Weekly reports about Jessica Simpson and who she's dating?
Joy: Because they don't want you to report it. I guess that doesn't make sense to you.
Elisabeth: How about this? If you want to talk about treating everyone the same way, how about treating everyone with the same amount of respect?

I never thought I'd find myself agreeing with Elisabeth, but that's really the big issue here, isn't it? The conversation pretty much ended there, but Whoopi threw to commercial by basically saying that they were going to take Perez out back and kick the sh*t out of him. I'm starting to wish that The View was the show with the live feed...

If you didn't catch it yet, it's totally worth tuning in -- and the clips should be available on the show's website by Monday. It's a low point for gay representation on daytime TV, to be sure, but a good sign that interest in this kind of cruel tabloid journalism is waning.