"Design Star" 3 recaplet (Ep. 4): Half of Team Gay goes down

This is where designers are made and broken: the infamous "white wall" challenge. David Bromstad set the bar high in the first season of HGTV's Design Star, designing a rug out of hamster cage bedding and using fish bowls as decorative accents. For this challenge, the designers were assigned countries that were meant to serve as their inspiration, and limited to materials they could purchase in a craft store and a set of covered cushions.

Unfortunately, instead of following in David's footsteps, one member of Team Gay met his Waterloo between those three white walls. Michael Stribling, the youngest contestant in Design Star history, created a room the judges called "generic," when he was supposed to be designing a hot Barcelona nightclub.

Michael's losing design

The problem I have with this decision isn't that I disagreed with the judges about his room. Michael alone of all the designers was allowed to choose the country he wanted to use as his inspiration, and there was not one element of this design that invoked the slightest hint of Spain. But it was a nice enough design, certainly competitive with the other designs the judges liked, and a lot better than those of designers who survived. Like, say, this monstrosity from Tracee:

Tracee's losing design

I mean, seriously. She's been in the bottom three every week, she's got a nasty personality and obviously will never win (hello, has anyone noticed that both previous Design Stars, David Bromstad and Kim Myles, were incredibly nice and well-liked by their fellow competitors?), and she submits this hideous crap. Explain to me like I'm stupid why she's here and Michael is gone?

Oh, right. Drama over design. I keep forgetting.

Although Michael dished some drama himself this week, praising Tracee to her face then rolling his eyes and calling her design "tee-ragic" behind her back. Not classy and definitely not nice, Michael. Still, you shouldn't have been aufed. I'm glad Matt gave you a nice goodbye hug.

Michael and Matt hug goodbye after the judges cancel Michael's show.

The surviving half of Team Gay, the formidable Matt Locke, took a wrong turn this week -- although his "wrong turns" are better than most people's life's masterwork. Or as Kim Myles said in her vlog commentary, "Matt? Shocking. Who expected to see him in the bottom three, ever?"

Not me, and certainly not anyone posting on the HGTV forums or blogs, either, since Matt is currently the top rated designer among viewers. But his Thailand-inspired Buddhist temple didn't impress anyone, including Matt, who told the cameras that he was disappointed in his effort.

Matt Locke stands up and takes it like a man.

Judge Vern Yip told him, "I appreciate your abstraction of Thailand, but you abstracted it so much that Thailand got up and left the room."

Matt's losing design

Now, I ask you: Is that design really that bad? And even if it is, who could hate a man who makes a face like this while using a power tool?

A man and his drill

The first time I recapped this season of Design Star, my darling editor Michael Jensen sent it back to me, saying I had used too many photos of the girls and not enough boys, so I'm trying to keep my audience in mind, and do better. Thus I give you this montage of Mikey V, cop-by-day and designer-by-night:

Mikey V with Clive, (l); Mikey V hugging Matt after Matt survives the final judging (r)

I only wish Mikey's design was as pretty as his arms:

Mikey V's losing design

The judges said it reminded them of an Asian fast food restaurant. Ouch.

Enough of the losers. One of the two winners was Stephanie, who gave us a Mexican moonlit cabana that in my opinion was every bit as generic as Michael's nightclub, however lovely it was -- and it was. But Mexico? Not so much. See for yourself:

The other winner was Jennifer, the clear stand-out in a sea of mediocrity with her Vietri pottery-themed Italian room:

Jennifer's winning design

The walls are brilliant, but I could have lived without the 80s denim sofa look. Still, considering they had to shop at a craft store, it could have been a lot worse.

Before I wrote this up, I went over to HGTV to see what the viewers were saying about the season so far. Like me, most were upset that once again, drama was playing more of a role than design. I read one comment pitting Matt and Mikey V against each other, acknowleding Matt was the best designer but hoping for Mikey to win because they were sick of "cinderfellas" winning.

We get one out gay designer in the history of the universe and it's too much? Gee, thanks. They also asked if they couldn't have a "masculine hottie" for once. Does the fact that I'm a dyke somehow affect my eyesight, or do Mikey V and David Bromstad look like they could pass for brothers? And is there something "unmasculine" about Matt Locke? Please educate me, I'm confused.

So, to sum up. In the first week we lost Scottie, who we barely knew and hurt my eyes with a 70s dorm room done in orange and brown. Last week we lost D. Paul, who everyone liked and was guilty of nothing but poor time management. And now Michael, who was a bit catty to Tracee but whose design really didn't earn him the auf.

If you're looking for design, this season's not so great. If you're looking for tears and hugs, we got 'em.

Michael and D. Paul hugging in better days.