The iPhone's big gay problem

I previewed the iPhone for a music blog I write for, and was all OMG what am I supposed to do with this paltry little 8 gigs of storage the iPhone has? Am I the only person who believed Apple when they said I had to take all my music with me everywhere I go, and who has 14 gigs of music on their iPod?

However, the problem isn’t how I’m going to scale back my music library to cram into 8 gigs of storage space. It isn't even that it’s too expensive (although it is), nor that the web access is slow (although it is), nor that the battery is almost irreplaceable and has a projected life of only around one year, nor any of the other problems the otherwise star-struck reviewers have mentioned in passing.

No, although all those things are undeniably problems, they are nothing compared to the question of what I'm going to do with the 30 or so gigs of lesbian/gay television programming I have on my 60 gig video iPod.

So tell me, Apple: What do you want me to delete to fit my digital library onto this pathetic tiny little greatest-electronic-toy-ever-marketed?

Do you expect me to delete six seasons of Xena: Warrior Princess?

Get real.

Noah’s Arc, which I downloaded to re-watch when I wrote a recent article on groundbreaking gay male sex scenes in television history? South of Nowhere, which I started watching when it aired its so-romantic teen lesbian romance episode and then became addicted to? Five seasons of Queer as Folk, converted into iTunes format from my DVDs by a friend? The first season of the L Word? Cagney and Lacey?

This is a serious issue, Apple. If I’m sitting in the waiting room at my vet’s office or getting a pedicure or on an airplane, and I’m struck with the sudden and uncontrollable urge to watch Xena and Gabrielle take a long, hot bath together, or Brian and Justin twirling around at the prom, I can’t do it.

And that, dear reader, is the big gay problem with the iPhone.