American Idol's Un-Fabulous Return (Season 7 Premiere)

American Idol is back for its seventh season but if you're looking to catch a glimpse of the next Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Clay Aiken or Chris Daughtry you need to sit back, do your taxes, write a novel, contemplate what's living in Amy Winehouse's hair and then return in a couple weeks once the audition rounds are over.   

There are two camps of people that watch American Idol: those that find glorious joy in seeing the painfully tone deaf humiliated on national television, and those that truly enjoy watching a rising star in the making. I tend to fall somewhere in between. 

I will freely admit that I've been an American Idol Addict since its inception and I'm man enough to admit that I cried big baseball-sized tears when my girl Kelly Clarkson took the crown in Season 1 (chalk it up to the confetti and pyrotechnics)!  I'm also smart enough to know that while Idol has changed the landscape of reality television, it's come with a price.

The overbloated premiere took to the streets of Philadelphia and even though it's the "City of Brotherly Love," we witnessed not one noticeably gay contestant. Even worse, we barely saw any male contestants audition or make it through to the Hollywood round at all. Sure there was the Bear Cub that dressed like Princess Leia and a drag queen or two but overall the men were scarce in Philly.

That had me thinking... Has American Idol learned its lesson and decided against openly ridiculing the effeminate contestants?  Are Simon and Ryan done with their witless gay jokes? Is mocking the sexually ambigious a thing of the past? Is the visual absence of LGBT contestants a sign of things to come or did the gays of Philadelphia learn a lesson from season's past and stay home?

Love it or hate it, American Idol is back.  You can run, you can hide, but I doubt you'll be able to avoid this reality monster.  If you thought Idol was on too much last season, just wait to see how Fox fills that huge gaping hole in their winter schedule left by the ongoing Writer's Strike.  Brace yourself because it feels like something wicked this way comes.