The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency recaplet (Ep. 4.04): Gay baiting, ballet dancing and eating disorders

This week The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency ramped up the drama by continuing where we left off last week, with Kehoe's crazy ass getting escorted from the house.  The boy just doesn't get that he pushes everyone so far that it eventually had to bite him in that well-toned behind of his. 

If he was so worried about about being homeless and claiming that living in the house was his last resort, then why would he start chomping at the scary wrinkled, yet meticulously manicured hand that feeds him.  Kehoe needs therapy. 

You remember how gay fave J.P. Calderon is always the peacemaker?  Not last night; he followed Kehoe out and read the boy!  He was throwing more shade than an oak tree and I loved every second of it!  "All you're thinking about is trying to be cute, trying to be funny and getting attention.  You need to learn man!"  Let the back peddling begin.

J.P. schools Kehoe

Columbo Janice used her super-spy monitor to deduct that newbie Polina may have an eating disorder.  The girl is eating at 3:30 in the morning and making funny sounds in the bathroom not to mention Janice found a bottle of throat spray under her bed.  Either the girl's interrupted or she's practicing for the next Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest.

This week's big casting was for TINte Cosmetics and it was the first time all season that we've seen Janice's main gay Gabe back in action. He's been enlisted to help make the girls presentable for the client.  With all this good has to come some bad for Janice's main gay but more on that in a minute.

Xian, Crystal and Dominique booked the TINte job and all was sunshine and cupcakes until Dominique told Janice that she wouldn't be available because she already booked another gig.  There was some drama, some tears, and some reconciliation which annoyed me.  Janice is softening this season; Season 3 Janice would have slapped the girl, drove her to the middle of nowhere and left her for dead.  It's like Bizarro Janice. 

OMG, we can't shake the new bizarro Janice tonight...  Two seconds after hugging Dominique there she was having a heart to heart with Hazuki about confidence.  Don't get me wrong, the girl was really opening up to Janice and the talk really seemed to have helped but take a peek at the "looks of concern" Janice presented during their actual conversation.

Is this a face of concern?

Hilarious!  Oh and what about Sorin trying to give Hazuki some words of advice?  You know she was sitting there and just staring at the wall with boredom waiting for the dimwit to finish his pep talk.  It's Comedy Tonight in the JDMA house!

To make things even more comical, Janice decided that the men should learn some grace and elegance through ballet.  As embarrassing as it was, it was a chance for us to see some well deserved boy bulge and a slow motion montage of the boys putting on their dance belts and ballet tights which was just about worth the price of admission. Let's gaze shall we?

Payton, Man In Tights

Men Almost In Tights

J.P. readusts

J.P. reminds us that fashion hurts

Danny stretches

Janice: "Look at this, it's like Saturday night at Lance Bass' house."  

Overall, the gays received pretty good exposure tonight.  J.P. was featured numerous times as was Martin.  I wonder how long it will be before Martin's main story line is something other than being deaf?  Show us some depth Janice, the boy deserves it.

Because it wouldn't be a lesson on JDMA without a winner being picked, our boy J.P. was named the best ballet student of the day.  That gay's got the moves.

Martin jumps for your love... jumps in...

Janice finally asked J.P. to move into the house and hopefully it's for him to be a mentor and not some gay bait for Martin.  I'm so not down with Janice being a match maker.

Remember how I mentioned earlier that Gabe was finally getting some screen time?  Well, I knew it was too good to be true. His screentime was just about to get ugly... 

Later that night, everyone is maxing and relaxing in the house including Gabe who's lying on the couch talking about how he'd love to have a deaf boyfriend (what?).  Then he starts ripping into Danny and Payton for playing football with a roll of toilet paper.  He questions their upbringing, calls them pigs, puts down people from East L.A. and Compton then calls Payton "corn fed".

Gabe lying aroung before storming out

Someone seems a little too comfy in the house... can you guess who?  Janice thinks its Payton's fault for calling Gabe an "old make up artist" until she hears that he called him a redneck - seriously it's Romper Room in that house. 

Within minutes, Gabe's storming out the door because Janice dared tell him not to disrespect the models and all the sudden he's claiming that their relationship may be too far gone to repair.  Who is he kidding?  She's the meal ticket, the gravy train and his only shot at TV stardom, so I'm pretty sure he'll be crawling his way back soon enough.

I'm bored by everyone acting like four year olds.  Grow up and do your job - which in case anyone forgot was to look vacant, naked and hot.  

The episode ended just as it began, with dramarama revolving around Brian Kehoe.  While the girls were working their TINte Cosmetics shoot, Kehoe crashes the joint, which means next week will focus on that attention whore some more.  Just what the boy needs.

While I'm still really enjoying the season, I can't help wonder what has become of the actual modeling?  Has the show impacted the future of the agency?  Does it help or hurt Janice for potential clients to see her slap models, scream at them, parade them around naked or better yet, does it benefit the models to have all their dirty laundry and childish antics aired for the world to see?