"The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency" recaplet (Episode 4.08): Lions and tigers and gays oh my!

Previously on The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, the plus sized models moved into the house and all hell broke loose. This week, the drama picks right back up with Chandler and Alana fighting about size, space, language and what it means to show a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

If the Chandler issue wasn't bad enough, Cruella DeJanice uses her secret spy cam to critique and demonize all the girls that are above a size 0. Her mission (and yes, she chooses to accept it) is to rid her agency and house of "those" girls and to fight the fat head on.

Thankfully JDMA has two gays with huge... hearts! Hearts boys, get your heads out of the gutter. While J.P. is usually the one sticking up for everyone, this week it was our other fave gay, Martin to the rescue! He talked to the plus-sized girls about being different, about agencies not wanting to accept him for his disabilities and lent a caring shoulder for the girls to cry on if need be.

Martin hugs it out for diversity!

Immediately following the Martin chit-chat, J.P. took a turn with the girls to help see if they can understand where Janice is coming from. They cover the whole diversity issue, her hard times breaking into the agency and how she's obviously coming around because she did let them move in after all. Yeah, little do they know that she's upstairs plotting ways to trim the fat.

Refusing to give up on creating a plus-sized division, Nathan begins casting for more voluptuous girls. PLUS Model Magazine comes in and Janice blows a gasket... or was that an eye socket? Once again Janice is sporting an eye patch.

This is like a bad soap opera or yet another drinking game for the American viewing public. If you're sick of downing shots every time you hear "maverick" how about every time Janice dons the patch or completely humiliates someone who's ribs don't show!

Janice is not only unenthusiastic about helping with the PLUS Model Magazine casting, she gets belligerent with the client! Seriously, is she not taking her meds? For as welcoming and motivational she's been with the gays, she's one carrot stick away from a lynch mob. Her behavior is unacceptable and I'm getting pissed even watching this show right now!

Nathan goes ahead with the casting and to throw some salt on the wounds, she strolls down with a bowl of food offering it to the women! No, really! If that wasn't bad enough within minutes she's being praised by the models for going out on a limb and at first she gladly takes the recognition but seconds later she's telling one of the girls that she may accept her into the agency, force her to diet and become the next Naomi Campbell. Isn't she swell?

You'd think that after Ivory and Alana land the PLUS gig which will bring Janice exposure and money that she'd be a little greatful right? Nah, she's on a roll so why stop now? We stumble upon the creepiest slumber party this side of an 80's slasher film where Janice has gathered the models around the campfire her for a little Slumber Party Massacre of her own.

Someone set her on fire please! Put us out of our misery.

First she threatens to tone Alana to death, then she calls her "fat", "big" and "super plus-sized". Lord forgive me for watching this show.

At the PLUS Model Magazine shoot, Ivory kills it with her Mod inspired spread and Alana, after a little coaxing works her first professional shoot. Everything is sunshine and rainbows until Janice storms onto the set, criticizes the shoot, the clothing and the direction then tells Alana she needs to suck in her gut and finally raids their kitchen.

Lizzie Grubman's Mug Shot

In strolls Janice's publicist Lizzie Grubman (is she allowed to drive yet? Hide your kids everyone, Lizzie's traveling and that usually means one thing... she'll run your ass down!) who shockingly acts as the voice of reason. Sadly, even this sit down between Janice, the client and her publicist ends in nothing but insults. I'm certain Satan is sitting behind me waiting patiently to take my soul. What do you say we move away from all the heavy stuff (pun intended) and get onto the stuff we actually watch the show for... half naked and blurred boys!

Designer Ronen Jehezkel takes in the JDMA sights

Designers Parke Lutter and Ronen Jehezkel (Parke & Ronen) are casting male models for their swimsuit line so wake up everyone, that means skin!

The boys strip down for Parke & Ronen

Dominic, J.P. Calderon and Christian

J.P., Payton, Michael, Christian and Maurice

The boys strip down to their underwear and some even get nekkid for the client to make their decisions. Michael, Christian, Maurice and Payton are chosen by Parke & Ronen.

Later that night, there's still some lingering drama between Xian, Payton and Danny which is so two weeks ago. Grow up and move on or whip em out and let's get to business; I'm so over the childish antics of these so called models.

Remember last years Ruffskins photoshoot?  Of course you do, it was hot business and to this day one of the sexiest moments on JDMA.  Photographer Justin Monroe is back and using Janice along with some of her models for his new book "Down the Rabbit Hole."  Oh god, Kehoe is one of the background models... surely there will be dramarama.

Right on cue, the drama ensues when Janice pulls Kehoe aside and tells him that even though the client wants him for the shoot he needs to leave.  With no ride home the idiot flags down a school bus and begs for a ride.  It's a school bus Kehoe not the Greyhound.

Sadly the bus didn't run Kehoe down

I love how he can't live without Janice in his life. He needs her constant love, attention and approval to survive. JDMA is his life force and he's being sucked dry without her light! Fade away Kehoe, fade away.

The make up starts flowing and Janice is determined to not let the Kehoe incident ruin her time in the spotlight.  While she's getting fifteen pounds of makeup applied, the other models were doing the same thing.  Can I just say that there hasn't been nearly enough focus put on the j'adorable Gavyn.

It's Gavyn 2.0 aka The Gay Tin Man

Justin Monroe's concept for the shoot incorporates fantasy, Alice in Wonderland and The Wizard of Oz all in one.  They brought Danny in to replace Kehoe and along with Dominique and Gavyn they'll be the background talent for the main character, Janice The Witch.  How funny was it that Gavyn's character was the "Gay Tin Man" (Justin Monroe's description not mine)?

As the episode was wrapping up, they took a moment to give us a glimpse of the Parke & Ronen shoot which all night they've been teasing would end in a huge fight between Janice and the client. So what's the issue you ask? Janice told the client she'd be storming the set as usual but as the shoot was coming to a close, she's nowhere to be found.  It appears that the Justin Monroe shoot left her ill.

With only a minute to spare, I knew the majority of the drama would be saved for next week and after the chaos and hate filled hour we just witnessed, I was more than happy to end the episode sooner than later.  The final parting shot this week was of Janice hanging up on Ronen after he left a hissy-fit about her no show.  It's all ridonkulous.

Until next week my friends please feel free to use the comments section to talk about Janice's heinous behavior and if it's turned you off to The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency.