Greeting someone seems like an easy enough thing to do, but we have all experienced it go horribly horribly wrong. A solid handshake is one thing, but a bear hug? An otter high five? When is what gesture appropriate. Daniel sits down with comedian Rajiv Satyal to figure it all out.
Check it out after the break!
Submitted by
on Mon, 2009-09-21 11:51.
I think Timothy Olyphant was talking about this once
He was commenting on making "The Broken Hearts Club," and getting the details "right." IIRC he said suprisingly the love scenes weren't that difficult; he was more concerned about getting the casual details right, because gay men hug and kiss each other hello and touch each other more in casual conversation than straight men do. I think a couple of a "QAF" actors also commented on this. There's even a touch of envy among some really "enlightened" straight men that they can't be more casually affectionate with their straight buds. (This is also about the quintessenial "straight guy hug," which is timed to last exactly 2.5 seconds and end with the double-back-pat which can be interpreted as "NOT GAY!")
The bit about handshakes or hugs for people you just met but have nonetheless heard a lot about is interesting--I think I've done both. I've also received hugs from people as I've left a social gathering, even though I just met them a little bit ago. Maybe the social interaction acts as "lubricant" to make the hug OK. I definitely know two casual straight friends who are not the huggy type, and after a couple times hugging them I've backed off and now just shake their hands, but I sometimes put the other hand over the shake to give it a little more emphasis/intimacy. I also have at least two straight friends who are often the first ones to hug me, and have indeed done the kiss-on-my-cheek thing--maybe for them, they're glad to have a male friend who doesn't mind this, compared to their other straight buds. (One of these guys also always signs his e-mails and notes to me "love" or "Love you more than you know," even though he is a happily married husband and father--maybe it's because he also does theater.)
Love the line about Oprah meeting Martha Stewart--when Dowager Empresses collide!! Maybe they'd bow at the waist, Japanese-style. :)
Fantastic topic this week, very thought-provoking with lots of attention to detail. Great job.
Daniel
I just adore all Daniel's Vlog's. He could just read from the phone book and i'd listen.
I found the whole power thing and who dictates the level of greeting quite a revelation. I'm gonna people watch among my friends and see who the power players are.
Mores not just for gays :)
Loved the vlog, only one complaint
I had to watch it twice b/c Daniel's cuteness kept getting in the way of me trying to concentrate on what he was trying to say!!!!!!!!!
Kitty
http://www.saveiantojones.com/
all greetings
should be revised following CDC standards. no kissing, air or otherwise!
but i have one issue that wasn't addressed: cold, clammy hands. what to do if i know my handshake is going to be unpleasant?
International Greetings
Here in NZ we have whats sometimes called the "maori wave" as a greeting also.
You see someone you know, catch their eye, the eyebrows go up and the head tips back as if to say "yeah I see you, we know each other, but we're both too cool to say anything".
Good stuff -- but....
... I could still use more advice on the kissing. I'm finally passed the point of breaking into giggles when someone I hardly know air kisses or double cheek kisses. But I know that I still look totally dumb and ill-prepared when the friendly kissing begins.
Oh wise (and absurdly cute) Daniel, how does one do a kiss greeting without looking like a fool?! And what if you don't really want to go a kiss greeting -- is there a way to politely make this known?