Mores for Gays video blog (123): "Plus One"

For weddings, if you're in a relationship and the happy couple knows you well enough to invite you to the wedding, they should know you well enough to find out the name (and gender) of your boyfriend, and, either add his name to the invite, or send him a separate one. And if your relationship is long term (living together or more), then if your significant other is not adressed by name on a joint invite, it is definitely a breech of etiquette.

first, advice to the producers: it was ten whole minutes this wonderful couple was made to sit there for our edification.  while they were very gracious throughout the whole piece, vicky was in clear and dire need of a refill on her drink.  you should always take immaculate care of your guests, and that was a particularly noticeable breach of etiquette.  i applaud the piece and series and everything you guys do, but lets get with the shirtless cabana boy, chop chop!

wedding couples of all kinds are faced with many pressures, and typically do so under the narcotic influence of their own budding love.  a wedding is an etiquette paradox: by definition, they are a nexus of social expectations, ceremony, and even law (codified and assumed).  at the same time, the happy couple is forgiven all manner of otherwise egregious faux pas, and practically expected to forget critical pieces of the social puzzle (why else does wedding advice come from every corner?).

etiquette also gives us an answer to the issue at hand.  regardless of the form of the invitation: engraved, emailed, phoned, or facebooked -- it is always good form to return a somewhat formal RSVP.  include the full name of the guest you're planning on bringing.  and don't forget the "mr" or "ms!"  with that, your duty is done.

of course, this exercise may make you feel unwholesome.  after all, you're taking extraordinary steps to accommodate prejudice.  will other guests be kind enough to write "esquire" if their date happens to be an attorney?  or write "jonathan k. doe, convicted felon," or "jane smith, crack addict, prostitute and terrible dancer?"  but here i can only suggest that you appeal to your own conscience, as only you can decide if a little shock won't otherwise ruin the lives of those you love.

daniel does point out a solid concern: make sure you get a +1!  if the invitation does not ask for "you and your guest," don't bring one.