Macho Halloween Costumes for Sissy Boys

 

 That is hysterically funny!

O Liberté, que de crimes on commet en ton nom!

Thanks, Dennis!  That started my work day off with a good hearty laugh.

-Dane

ok so i wasnt suppose to dress up like lindsey wagner as the bionic woman when i was 6??? who knew.... ha ha ha

that more parents (and "family-oriented" websites) than I care to think about would see this as appropriate and helpful parenting information, rather than as a satirical comic video.

Bravo and well done to The Onion for putting it together, and thanks to Dennis for sharing it with us!

Gutsy kids for doing that segment so wholeheartedly.  It was so unnerving, I went back and mentally inventoried a few years' worth of Halloween costumes from my childhood, roughly age 3 into adolescence and beyond:

Sad clown (stupid parents forced me, then assumed I was sad because I "didn't understand what fun it would be to trick or treat."  No, I DIDN'T WANT TO BE A DAMN CLOWN).

Peter Pan (at least twice)

Jack and the Beanstalk (using a giant spray-painted paper "stalk")--hmm, that's at least 3 years of tights thus far.

Bugs Bunny (only store-bought costume/mask)--notorious cross-dresser

Robot (AHA!!), but didn't cover my legs in metal--just wore white running shorts and tube socks.  (AHA!  Part 2.)

Giant frog (don't develop sex characteristics until no longer polliwogs)

Giant lobster (made from grocery bags that disintegrated in the Seattle rain)--future Aaron Fricke reference?

Giant turtle (Shell unfortunately was 2-D and thus flat)--closet metaphor?

Record player (was this like a several-year cardboard fetish?)--record was "I Wanna Hold Your Hand"

Norman Bates (another cross-dresser)

Painted my face with rainbow stripes (this, in the early 80's, before rainbows were "officially" gay, but nonetheless).

In college, I was on various occasions a Dark Mysterious Stranger (basically a defanged vampire), Cupid (heart-splotched boxers, wings, bow and arrow, starvation), & Romeo (right after a breakup, go figure).  Well, definitely a glimpse there into my mindset on love and romance.  Since then, it's been back to the Peter Pan well a couple times, and recently its been Michael Moore.  This year I'm a giant stick of butter, opposite my partner's Julia Child.

I sense a potential film script based on all this Freudian acting-out.

 

I always wanted to be a superhero or Dr. J or Bruce Lee or Shaft or some other tough guy and i'm just as gay as anyone here so you never know.

 

 

The ONION is so great. That was a very funny skit.

I especially liked the warning about costumes that have been co-opted by the gays like cops and firefighters, and how your kid will end up just looking like stripper!

This was brilliant!

i especially liked the part at the bottom of the screen that read "just give a firm NO to any ideas he 'saw on Bravo'". HAhahahahaha- this actually gave me a few ideas for my costume this year- kathy griffin, anyone?