Therapy Thursdays with Dr. Crankyboots: Why does Brüno threaten you?

Hello and warm greetings of the season, gay humans! Allow me to introduce myself, but first permit me to lick an itch that has suddenly surfaced between my toes ...

That's better. My name is Dr. Crankyboots, and I am a board-certified feline homosexual therapist. (If you would like to see the board in question, it is in the garage and I can produce it at any time.) Each week I will be hosting an open discussion of sorts here at the After Eltons Blogs. The aim will be to help you, gay human people, become more gay and more human, and better at it.

For this week's topic of discussion, please direct your soulless, round-pupiled eyes to the words below this photograph of this man in underwear:

DO NOT BE ALARMED! You are not going blind, as that is not, indeed, a photo of a man in underwear. It was a ruse I designed in order to introduce today's topic, which I know is a sensitive one for your people...

Today's Topic: Why you hate Bruno

Soon enough Borat's gay brother Bruno will be starring in his own movie, and already the gay males are in a flurry of concern over it. The ones who have provided my lodging for the last several years went into fits I can only describe as "hissied" when this Bruno descended from the sky and landed on an attractive lesbian's face at an awards ceremony last week.

So why so much anger? Why do you hate Bruno? 

Is it because you secretly hate effeminate men, when you are yourself rather effeminate? Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Is it because he's not actually homosexual and is making fun of you in order to make money by exploiting your worst qualities? 

Is it because he is related to Borat and therefore probably has more iPods than you? 

Or is it because you just can't take a joke?

You Can Trust Me

Seriously, I don't get it. Do you see me writing hate-mail to Jim Davis for stereotyping me as an overeating sociopath who doesn't like getting his feet wet?

Please feel free to speak openly (and respectfully, always), and remember ... it's okay to feel bad, just don't feel badly.