Adam Lambert: Censorship, Outrage, and Faux Shock at the "American Music Awards"

I guarantee there was a dress rehearsal.

On ABC's The View this morning, Barbara Walters, was ticked off at her own network because they wouldn’t let her air his performance so they could talk about it. Too racy for daytime, which in the age of DVRs is just silly. Maybe they could hire the pixilator guy from The Amazing Race?

I’ll buy that Adam kissing his male keyboardist wasn’t rehearsed. I’ll also state that I went to bed last night thinking the keyboardist was female. The shot was long, the hair was wild, and the costume sparkled. Shoot me.

But the rest of it? Staged as all get out. I would bet anything, anything at all, that ABC knew exactly what they were getting with Lambert's performance. There were rehearsals. I guarantee one was in costume, and those costumes scream sex. And not safe, let’s-make-a-baby-sex, but hot, nasty, kinky fun. And besides, when asked to describe the performance, the first thing out of Adam’s mouth is “Sexy.” Look at the interview with KABC before the show.

ABC also gave Adam the last slot, basically putting him right at eleven o’clock when there wouldn’t be much that the FCC could say about the whole thing which wasn't airing during "Family Hour". Based on history, that slot would have gone to Lady GaGa and her wild costumes and blood. No, the S&M, the leashes? Choreographed. Approved. Face in the crotch? Debatable, but in my opinion, that dancer wasn't surprised, and the camera had a great angle.

Which performer has a history of shocking during performances?

See, if it wasn’t, I don't think we would have seen it on the East coast in the first place. I didn’t hear half of Eminem, or even Jay-Z. The Black-Eyed Peas even went silent at times. But I saw the “simulated oral sex” on my screen. If they can silence words, they can plan a shot. And by doing so, they get the best of both worlds. Because everybody is talking about it. And the clip is everywhere. And nobody is issuing takedown notices for copyright infringement.

Why do I think ABC would do that? Well, if I were to speculate, I’d say that it was for ratings. The American Music Awards are time delayed on the west coast. That allowed the intertubez to build buzz. And ABC was rewarded, because the show pulled in 2 million more viewers than last year.  And it set the standard that anything could happen on live TV again. Which increases the ratings for all future live shows, especially live shows with Adam Lambert. Like New Year’s Rockin’ Eve next month — which just happens to air on ABC.

Adam knew he’d pushed the envelope. Between airings, he managed to get an interview out on CNN saying that if the kiss was censored, it was a double standard. Great advertising that. And free for ABC. It looked like a gauntlet being thrown down. But the kiss aired, a kiss not unlike Madonna/Britney/Christina so long ago. But they lost the crotch smash. He didn't bring that up in the interview with CNN, just the kiss.

It’s no longer enough to have a performer fall down to make news (though we had two different acts do that last night). No footage seems to exist of JLo. But the mothership has Adam’s fall.

I’ve been listening to Adam’s album this morning. I sprang for the $16.99 iTunes version with the bonus tracks over the $3.99 Amazon MP3 album without them. That whole performance screamed the chorus from “Master Plan.”

We are the face of the new generation. We are the ones who have no reservations. Don’t give a damn about your cold calculations. Welcome to the master plan, don’t care if you understand.

That performance, minus the kiss, was entirely a master plan.