The Afternoon Meme: Betty White Is a Whore, RuPaul's Drag Queens Are Not Morning People, and Ryan Reynolds Is Dirty

Last Minute RuPaul Alert! She waits for no one, so I'm adding Ru at the top, like the queen she is. Because she made these other queens move early, and gurl, they are not happy about it.

Back to my original beginning. Let's start with Ryan Reynolds. Because everything should always begin with Ryan Reynolds sweaty and dirty, trapped and unable to escape. O.K., maybe that's what I dream about and not what the movie Buried is all about. But it is what this scene is about.

Modern Family's Sofia Vergara was on Ellen Wednesday, and the woman is nuts. In all the right ways. I know she's huge in South America, but this is my first exposure to her. And look at that body! She's got an 18 year old kid. Excuse me, I need to go run 14 miles.

I don't really know what to say about this security video. Some parts are clearer than others, but what we do know is that this goat doesn't like strip clubs. I don't know if he found out his daughter was working there to support a drug habit, or what. But he crashed in through the glass while the place was closed and did some serious damage.

This CollegeHumor video is obviously a Crimson Tide parody. Which makes it 15 years late, so I don't know what inspired them to make it. The first officer is hot though, which is fitting for someone taking Denzel Washington's role.

Falling in the category of "funnier than they should be" are these commercials that Ellen ran Thursday. The 12 year-old in me found one positively giggle-worthy.

Betty White is someone I want to go have martinis with. I think she was sober when she went on Lopez Tonight and called herself a whore and talked about her sagging breasts.

Adam Lambert took a moment to tape an appeal for the Red Cross Haitian relief effort.

Also Haiti related, tonight is the telethon for Haiti, raising money around the globe. We've received word that when Justin Timberlake takes the stage, out musician Matt Morris will be with him. That's massive, global exposure, and for a good cause. The question is, are they going to perform one of Justin's tired old tracks (seriously, dude, go back to the studio already!), or this number they did together on Ellen.

The preview for Then We Got Help with Nick Rodriguez is up and ready for viewing, and boy, do they make jealousy and arguing look fun.

Speaking of Betty White, Neil Patrick Harris was interviewed on the red carpet for the Golden Globes, and mentioned that no matter how often he name drops her, she hasn't agreed to an appearance on How I Met Your Mother.

You tax dollars at work. A soldier channels his inner Michael Bay, and uses the grenade launcher on his rifle to blow up a tanker. And now we have the first scene for Transformers 3 in the can.

The Jersey Shore audition tapes have surfaced. Viewing this, I don't understand how anyone that didn't work for Bravo thought this would be a good idea. These people have no redeeming qualities, and that includes The Situation's abdominals.

Craig Ferguson is my favorite non-Comedy Central late night host. Sadly, I'm tucked in and deeply asleep by the time he comes on. But I do think I'd be more likely to watch his Jersey Shore: The Movie than the actual MTV show.

I haven't actually seen this clip, but it's supposed to be a preview of Being Human Series 2 from the BBC. American viewers, this is the UK folks getting revenge on us for all the Hulu stuff they can't watch. I'm currently researching the January 27 Gay Times cover story and photo spread on the show. The cover is HOT.