The Afternoon Meme: Pee-Wee Gets a New Toy, Baby Elephants, and Be On the Lookout for an Escaped Panda Cub

Via Joe.My.God, we see what happens when you give an iPad to the world's biggest child, Pee-Wee Herman. Hint: By the end, he's decided it is just as useful as I have, now that Apple Fever has worn off.

TheOnion.com alerts us to the fact that Michelle Obama is hot. They do this by way of a bill introduced into the House seeking retroactive immunity for anyone who may have hit on her at the State of the Union Address.

The new trailer for Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps is out, and from it we we learn that Michael Douglas has aged a lot, and not in the good-Sean Connery way. Shia LeBouf is also in this mess and IMHO, it shows that he has a very limited range. Or maybe I'm just bitter about the value of my 401(k)?

Musician Pat Metheny is going on a tour named "Orchestrion" and he doesn't have to worry about his band trashing any hotel rooms a he's got an entirely robotic backup band. I guess that means he doesn't pay residuals on any concert DVDs either.

Also via Joe.My.God, we discover that there's already a parody of the Tim Tebow/Focus on the Family Super Bowl ad that everyone is talking about. This old school bit provides a stark contrast between what a traditional Super Bowl commercial is and what they seem to be moving towards.

NPR has a story about all scientific evidence pointing to the fact that shoes are destroying runners legs, no matter how many air cushions/springs/flashing lights/wheels you put in the soles. We evolved to run safely barefoot and then screwed it up by having to avoid stepping on used chewing gum.

Anybody besides me remember Brian Dunkleman? He used to stand on stage during American Idol and crack jokes with Ryan Seacrest. Then he quit, a move ranking up there as one of the most idiotic career moves since I decided to blog for a living. But now Dunkelman is developing a sitcom about his experience. I wonder if Ryan would be willing to toss him the change from underneath his gold framed, mink covered sofa to help get it on the air?

From Sundance, we have a change of Ryans in my usual Ryan Reynolds obsession. Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams sat down to discuss a depressing movie called Blue Valentine wherein Ryan goes off on a tangent about "cranking" which surprised even me. It's not crude, but turn the speakers down at church.

From The New Yorker, we are reminded that there is always "that guy" no matter what the situation is.

Last month we had the building in China that was undergoing demolition, but only half of it fell down. Today we have video of the Lafayette Building in Detroit which is being torn down in a less dramatic fashion than with explosives - or at least that was the plan.

I want to ride!

The Evil Cat Overlords have learned to open doors. We are all doomed.

I never thought of panda bears as anything but adorable and lazy. But last year, one attacked a tourist and stole his jacket. And now we have this quick little bugger.

I feel I've been giving too much time to common animals like cats and dogs. You know what creature doesn't get enough exposure in the world? Baby elephants sneezing. And that's a shame because it's really adorable with the flapping ears and the trunk all over the place. He may never get over being laughed at by tourists though.