Afternoon Meme: Orca Needs a Stoning, Debra Messing Gets a Job, a Mutant Penguin, and More!

It’s National Grammar Day – let me have it!

Debra Messing (Grace, Will & Grace) is set to star in a comedy pilot called Wright vs. Wrong as a conservative pundit. Politically, that’s a character about face, but as a conservative, she’ll likely be just as self-centered.

The A.V. Club has a great interview with out singer Fred Schneider of the B-52s and his new band, The Superions.

Well at least they’re consistent. The American Family Association is calling for the orca at Sea World to be stoned to death in accordance with Exodus 21:28. No doubt, since this was the second human death attributed to the whale, they’re also calling for the stoning death of the primary trainer, just like Exodus 21:29 says. Several people have wondered if you leave the whale in the water for the stoning, and if it counts if he just washes out before the fatal stone gets him.

Today in painful headlines, the girl that The Bachelor Jake Pavelka didn’t choose exclaims “He’s so small!” Turns out she’s talking about height, but still not something you want to see in print. Also: short guys find it so much easier to get bodies like this compared to guys who are 6’3” like me.

Washington, D.C. of course legalized same sex marriage yesterday, and the New York Times has a great article about the event, including the most adorable picture of Crate & Barrel Ultimate Wedding contestants Jonathan Howard and Gregory Jones.

An atheist organization at the University of Texas San Antonio is letting students swap out any religious text for adult magazines, calling it Smut for Smut. It’s similar to Cash for Guns or Toys for Guns programs that have been run in many cities, except a lot more fun. There is video of a female student getting a gay magazine at the link.

The new way to get around teaching evolution? Outlaw teaching about global warming, so you’re not advocating a religious standing, but an alternative outlook on multiple conservative topics. I’ve now decided Idiocracy was actually a warning from the future.

Speaking about the fall of civilization, James Marsters says that’s what Caprica is about – specifically the fall of the American Empire. He should know, since he’s joining the series as the fanatical leader of the monotheists. Oh, and he says he’s open to coming back to Torchwood, or anything else Russell T. Davies wants.

ABC remains my favorite broadcast network by passing on the Sarah Palin/Mark Burnett nature reality show. The pair is still shopping it to the other networks, and let’s face it – CBS is going to jump on this. It fits the demographic (old people, conservative people), plus they’re already in business with Burnett. I’m not calling for a Survivor boycott over this yet, but I will continue to maintain my disinterest in anything Mark Burnett does.

io9.com invites you to meet Blackie the mutant penguin, who doesn’t have the characteristic tuxedo look. Personally, I think it’s just a fashion statement, not some over-the-top mutation. Tom Ford is probably going to have the same look Sunday at the Oscars.

Just in time for swimsuit season, Wonka is launching a real-life Golden Ticket contest. No, you don’t get to hang with oompa-loompas, but you can win pretty sweet prizes like round-the-world trips.

If you live in New York and have Cablevision, you’re likely aware that WABC and Cablevision are feuding over carriage fees, but I really can’t imagine what happens when ABC goes dark the day of the Gay Super Bowl. Stonewall riots were nothing compared to this.

Combover dog is not amused.

I was familiar with Christmas wreaths for commuters, and flags for football fanatics, but I didn't realize the Easter Bunny ranked high enough in the pantheon to get car decorations. What's next, a top hat for President's Day?

Pull up for a date in that, you better have candy.

Darth Disco

You know you have too much money when your marble floor retracts to give you a swimming pool with windows that have a view.

But do you need a husband/well-aged houseboy?

Price is Right is applicable in real life.

When you don't have any gay people who like you, your $14 million penthouse ends up looking like this.

Or Rush may just have a God complex.

I'm just going to steal the caption for this picture from where I found it. The picture is of course Olympic Gold Medalist Shaun White for Rolling Stone, shot by Terry Richardson.

Hair guitar.

We've got several short clips to cover today, so let's get moving. First, Rachel Maddow talks to Major Mike Almy, who didn't tell, but still got booted out of the military for being gay. Oh, and they did it while he was commanding a combat brigade in a war zone, putting the lives of his men at risk by putting a less experienced officer in charge.

Here is Ross Matthews, the happy gay man who splits his time between Chelsea Lately and Jay Leno. He doesn't get to be part of the fun part of the show, but he does get to be the chauffeur for the straight people.

Cyndi Lauper and Lady GaGa sit down in London to talk about their MAC Viva Glam campaign, gay fans, Cyndi's upcoming blues album (can't come soon enough!), and making the very valid point that AIDS is not a gay disease.

octobercountry points out that as action-packed as the new Clash of the Titans remake coming out next month is, it's seriously lacking in Harry Hamlin style beefcake. So we decided to look. First, the latest trailer of the armored, covered up Sam Worthington:

And now the original, toga-draped 1981 Harry Hamlin edition. Togas reveal much more flesh. So despite the bad monsters, the win here goes to 1981:

Finally, Jay Leno plays Jaywalking with Jersey Shore. It has a "closet" joke, a shot of Senator Scott Brown from Cosmo, and just wait until you hear how they translate "Homo Sapien Bar"