Afternoon Meme: James Marsden's Career Is Toast, "Being Human" USA Is Doomed, Stephen Colbert Weighs In on Ricky Martin

Plus, the Johnny Cash project, Alex O'Loughlin's body, Hedwig to Broadway, crushing Rick Malambri, and meet Death Bear.

While promoting that awful looking JLo movie The Backup Plan, Alex O’Loughlin mentioned that the stunts on the Hawaii Five-O pilot were brutal, and there was no way he could take his shirt off for any beach scenes due to the bruising. There goes my entire interest in the show.

Kaley Cuoco, Sheldon’s foil in The Big Bang Theory, has landed her first feature film, I Hop. She’ll play with James Marsden, a slacker who injures the (CGI) son of the Easter Bunny (Russell Brand) and has to take him in. That sounds just awful. I mean really, really awful.

Telescopic Text is a brilliant concept. Just click the words and watch the story grow.

There’s a rumor that Hedwig and the Angry Inch is headed to Broadway, and John Cameron Mitchell will reprise his lead role. Personally, I’d be more interested in a stage version of Shortbus, but Giuliani and Bloomberg cleaned up all the shows like that.

Chocolate is good for your health again, until tomorrow when it will likely be found to give you cancer. Until then, bite the ears off all the bunnies you can. Well, chocolate bunnies, not real ones. That’s just mean.

The WE network has given Joan and Melissa Rivers a reality show with a camera crew following them around all day. I hope they also give the crew good therapy after having to witness that. I can’t even imagine trying to edit it.

The Johnny Cash Project is underway, encouraging fans to submit a frame of how they picture the iconic singer. All the submissions will be woven together into a video for “Ain’t No Grave,” the last song he recorded before his death.

I haven’t had time to read all of the New York Times Magazine piece, “Can Animals Be Gay?”, but I have a feeling it’s just going to tick people on every side of the argument off. This is science (with pictures of cute animals), and they seem to go out of their way to remind us that science doesn’t anthropomorphize animals. Which really sucks for children of scientists on Easter morning.

You’ve seen glimpses of the Stark Expo in the trailers for Iron Man 2. Now there’s a whole website dedicated to the fake World’s Fair-like exhibition. Dear studio suits, you can pull back on the marketing – we’re going to go see it anyway.

The Simpsons will have a downloadable April Fool’s Day application tomorrow that you can get and use to prank your Facebook friends and earn points that probably aren’t worth anything.

Definitely.

Jane Lynch is going to be honored at Outfest with the 14^th Annual Achievement Award. 

A fish falls from the sky and hits a truck outside a sushi restaurant – do you eat it? Find out.

SyFy admits that Being Human works on the BBC because of the chemistry between the stars. Vows to forge ahead with their version anyhow.

Tina Fey has Matt Damon as a 30 Rock guest star. I want him to make out with Danny (Cheyenne Jackson). Can somebody make that happen?

Finally, cufflinksandtie tips us to this amazing gallery of awesomely bad hair days, most of which look like they were deliberate, and can’t be blamed on the 80s.

This took me just a minute to figure out. I was too busy thinking about myself.

I was watching Officer Cuddlybear last night, and part of the episode focused on Where the Wild Things Are. Then I stumbled across this sushi. 

The universe was in synch last night.

Adam Lambert is doing a photo shoot for something in Japan. He's evidently using a local airbrusher, because he looks like an anime character.

Well, a different kind of anime character than normal.

We've got several pieces from the world of advertising. First, this rather shocking ad for organ donation in France is one of a pair that copyranter brings to our attention.

I think donation should be mandatory if you have this type of tattoo.

Evian's new advertising makes claims that the Fountain of Youth, which Ponce de Leon left Europe to search for in the New World, is actually located at their spring. What they end up with is something that looks like an ad for United Babies of Benetton.

This is just creepy.

You daily dose of cute comes from these kittens. Can't you just hear Chubby Checker in the background?

Twist again...

Flat Eric stars with Pharrell Williams in this short film called Where's the Money, George? It's odd, and was originally meant to be more of a trailer for a bigger project that got scrapped.

Last night Stephen Colbert weighed in on Ricky Martin coming out. The bit about the Rolling Stone cover kept me awake giggling last night.

We Love Soaps tweeted in our general direction that they had Jo Weil's interview up. It seemed unfair to not include him after running Thore's. Plus the fact that he had a ten year perspective on what it was like to play gay on soaps was very interesting.

CollegeHumor.com spoofs "Empire State of Mind" with their Star Wars version.

Meet Death Bear. It's performance art, it's therapy, it's something that could happen only in New York City. But still, I want a bouncy ride!

And finally, I might consider seeing Step Up 3D. I haven't seen the other Step Up movies, but I think I've developed an insta-crush on Rick Malambri, and seeing him flying at me in 3D might be nice. It does look like this completely rips off the Houses and the Vogue culture that saved so many gay teen lives in New York City in the 80s, so I hope they at least bother to acknowledge that between dance numbers.