Afternoon Meme: Leave Looney Tunes Alone, "Men In Black" Is Back, "Stretch Armstrong" Gets Staffed, and My "Glee" Views.

Plus, it's a big day for birthdays, Kelly Cutrone is impatient, American Top Gear ready to roll, Alex O'Laughlin's ... talents, and Neil Patrick Harris' Beastly quips.

On the off chance that anyone at Cartoon Network reads anything I write, I want to go on record as opposing their upcoming programming choices. Not only are you putting live-action programming on something called “Cartoon Network” you also bust out this sentence, which is as close to blasphemy as you can get: “The network also announced that coming later in the year would be an all-new re-imagined version of the Warner Bros animated classic shorts, Looney Tunes.”

Also departing from the title of their network, History Channel is set to premiere their version of Top Gear with Adam Ferrara, Tanner Foust and Rutledge Wood.

Kelly Cutrone got sick of waiting for Bravo to decided on a second season for Kell On Earth, so she’s created a web version of her series, including her sidekick gay Andrew.

Tim Gill and his husband have purchased a huge historic Denver property as their new home. At 33,000 sq ft and grounds including something called a “tennis pavilion” that the university had used for events, they just wanted room for a “proper garden.” As all the gay blogs have noted, the big deal is how the local paper is treating his marriage and purchase just like they would any other insanely wealthy local couple’s purchase.

Unless you’re living under a rock, you’ve seen the clip of Hitler from the movie Downfall having the caption changed so Hitler can “react” to anything, from Ricky Martin coming out to health care legislation passing. The director of the film thinks the thousands of parodies are hysterical. The producers, notsomuch. Takedown notices are flying out of their offices, and videos are disappearing fast.

You can read an exclusive interview with Rupaul’s Drag Race judge (and Launch My Line contestant) Merle Ginsberg. Find out why she loves reality judging, but is much less fond of being a contestant.

Metallica wasn’t about to let a volcano keep them from their fans, and got on a bus to travel from Norway to Latvia for a concert. If you’re thinking this should be normal for a band, Metallica hasn’t traveled by bus since a crash killed original member Cliff Burton in 1986.

Barry Sonnenfeld tells veteran reporter Roger Friedman that he and Will Smith are both signed to do Men In Black 3 which is of course going to be filmed in 3D. Odds are they’re going to rush this puppy out by Memorial Day 2011 since they don’t have Spider-Man.

Take this with a HUGE grain of salt, but the blogs are reporting that another star is coming out. Talk shows are booked, the cover of People has been shot for the May 5^th issue, and Hollywood coming out specialist Howard Bragman is pulling the strings.

McSweeney has a pretty funny “Imagined Monologue” of the guy who lost the iPhone 4G talking to his coworkers after the phone showed up on Gizmodo.

Reader JC reminds us that if we’re broken up about the uncertain future of The Hobbit, you can tide yourself over with a pretty decent short film, The Hunt for Gollum. Production quality is amazingly high.

Leonard Nimoy has announced that he’s hanging up the pointy ears for good, and he’s film his last episode of Fringe. At 79 he’s ready to retire for good. Live long and prosper.

Stretch Armstrong signed Taylor Lautner’s body months ago, now they’ve gotten around to hiring a director. Oh – and someone to write the script. This tells you a lot about the picture they intend to produce.

O.K. - I posted a cute picture of a Japanese raccoon dog. Then I posted a picture of a bunch of them. And I got so much mail from so many of you in support of the red panda over the tanuki. I have no idea if this is a Hatfields & McCoys blood feud between these animals, or what, but I give, I give! Here's some pictures of the red panda looking innocent.

Looks lazy to me.

Then on Twitter, I was informed "Everyone knows red pandas dress in grey suits with red masks, and protect 1930s Toronto from supervillains. Duh."

Canada has red pandas? In hats? Is this an episode of Phineas & Ferb?

On Twitter, musician Jay Brannan has been trapped in Europe thanks to that volcano. He seems to be making the most of his time though.

Here he is in Toledo, Spain.

That's a fairly decent transition to the birthdays today, which are plentiful in the gay-adjacent space.

James McAvoy, Robert Smith, Eric Mabius, John Cameron Mitchell, Patti Lupone, and Queen Elizabeth II

I'm going to hell for laughing at this cat feeder.

Blue needs to find a Clue to Propecia.

The latest True Blood poster puts missing vampire Bill on blood bottles.

And we see the best argument for going to see The Backup Plan.

Beastly has released a new trailer. It brings up a few points. 1) Alex Pettyfer has a bangin' body; 2) When the witch makes him "ugly" he gets to keep the bangin' body; 3) Neil Patrick Harris and his one-liners are probably going to steal the movie.

Stargate: Universe has a new trailer out, and it would be unremarkable except Michael Shanks is guest starring this week, and I find Michael Shanks incredibly sexy.

Iron Man 2 let Entertainment Tonight look at the villains, and I'd forgotten about Sam Rockwell as the evil arms manufacturer looking all sexy in white.

Glee finally let Kurt and Mercedes shine last night when the joined the Cheerios. It brings up a few thoughts, like Chris Colfer has a much better body than I thought he did, because he looks  smokin' in that Cheerios uniform. Another thing is that they took Chris' voice down a couple octaves for this, which was nice. I hope it goes all season - Kurt a cheerleader dating his jock boyfriend.

The closing number for Glee made the heart swell, like it always did. Even if you knew it was coming. Kurt hit some notes that only dogs heard. Jonathan Groff dances and works the stage like someone who does musical theater, but doesn't get to sing. Mercedes is the one belting out a big note when the curtain goes up and a gospel choir is there. It's all so predictable, yet it works so well.

Jon Stewart didn't let Glee have all the show choir fun last night - he took on Fox News' Bernie Goldberg's rather old man criticism with a song and dance number. Fox must have felt they needed some publicity, because they knew Stewart couldn't let this lie.

And here's the missing clip from Tim Gunn on Bonnie Hunt's show yesterday, where he discusses manners, style and my favorite topic, monkeys.

Finally, in honor of all the birthdays above, here is the coolest birthday candle in the history of getting older. Which is like, all of history.