Afternoon Meme: MTV Howls For "Teen Wolf," James Franco Picks Another Role, and Gargamel Hates Romance

Plus Bret Easton Ellis excerpts, Southland sparkles at upfronts, and sexually harassing Robert Pattinson.

MTV has picked up their Teen Wolf reboot into series. It stars Tyler Posey as a young man who gains a bunch of powers, including the ability to attract girls (of course!) as the result of a wolf attack. So they’ve ditched the coming-of-age, father/son dynamic of the movies.

In awful news, the court in Malawi has given the maximum 14-year jail term to the two men convicted of homosexuality yesterday. Various aid groups are protesting, and the British government is complaining, but says stopping aid to the poor country will not help, only put more vulnerable citizens at risk.

The Moscow mayor has again banned Pride from the city. Again.

The MMA fighters need to just admit how homoerotic their sport is and move on. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson accused his opponent of “playing with his nipples” and “looking gay.” Dude – you roll around in positions that Falcon uses for choreography, everything about the sport looks gay.

Right up there with “suites” and “continental breakfast” Expedia has added a “GLBT Welcoming” box you can check when searching for hotels. It may not be perfect, but it might decrease the chances they call it a mistake when you check in with your boyfriend for a single king room.

The I’m From Driftwood project is embarking on a 50 state tour, collecting and sharing more stories about ordinary gay folks living their ordinary lives while being gay. In doing so, it remains an extraordinary voice for the community.

James Franco picks really odd projects. Now he’s joining the comedy Ricky Stinicky about an actor hired to play a fake employee that two guys invent so they can lie to their wives about where they are. So it’s kind of like turning Ashley Madison into a movie, but without the sex.

Since Bret Easton Ellis took off as a topic all by itself in my Morning Meme comments, it looks like I’m pandering, what with this excerpt from his new book Imperial Bedrooms. But I already had it queued up – honest!

The CW gave out some basic plot line spoilers for their returning shows for the fall, but nothing gay jumped out. Still, I can say I’m happy about how they plan to extend Supernatural, since the apocalypse is a hard act to follow. No decent word on Hellcats, which I assume is our best hope of covering the network.

Viagra is associated with hearing loss in men, so if your boyfriend doesn’t hear you telling him to take out the trash for four hours, you may want to ask him about those “business trips” he takes on the weekends.

The world’s dumbest art thief robbed the world’s dumbest museum in France, making off with five paintings worth $600 million dollars by Picasso, Matisse, Braque, Modigliani, and Leger. How’d they pull off a heist worthy of the next Oceans 11 sequel? They broke a window that wasn’t alarmed, and smashed the padlock. They even had time to open the frames instead of cutting the paintings out. Why is the thief dumb? How do you sell art that famous?

Generals from Britain, Israel, Canada, Australia and the Netherlands gathered in Washington, D.C. today to try and tell everyone that allowing gays to serve in the military helped them, and no one walked down the gangplank of their warships in heels and a feather boa after they integrated. That is, no one that wouldn’t have done it before.

Jayma Mays has been absent from Glee because she’s off playing Neil Patrick Harris’ wife in the Smurfs movie. No word on if Ramin Setoodeh finds the marriage convincing, but Jayma will be back for the finale to tell Mr. Schue she’s seeing a dentist – and not just for whitening.

One of the side effects of the Upfront presentations in New York City is that the stars of various shows get trotted out like pieces of meat for advertisers and journalists to gawk at, and decide where they want to place their money. It's got more in common with a visit to the horse track than anything. Here you see participants in Race Five, otherwise known as basic cable's Southland.

Michael Cudlitz, Regina King, and does this mean Ben McKenzie has a contract?

I consider myself as falling somewhere squarely in the geek-nerd-dork spectrum of personality disorders. Socially awkward, fondness for technology, ability to focus on minor details to the exclusion of food or showers. So this variation on How To Lose a Geek In Ten Seconds speaks to me.

Can you imagine my mousepad having kittens on it?

I believe this surprised looking little guy just read the op-ed piece by Aussie rugby star Jason Akermanis about how gay rugby players should stay in the closet.

Loris is not pleased.

This short video is from my new guilty pleasure, MTV's Ultimate Parkour Challenge. I will admit that the competition parkour runs are pretty lame, especially compared to each team's intro videos, which are pretty awesome. But you know what else is awesome about this show? If you do parkour, chances are good your body is amazing. Just look at Mike. The show repeats endlessly on MTV.

Ellen Degeneres has a thing about objectifying men. When Robert Pattinson was on her show yesterday, she had to come up with a way to make sure he was sexually harassed. So she let a female fan be blindfolded and grope Robert and two guys who were built like him in an effort to identify the sparkly vampire. The robes, I'm assuming are to keep the groping PG-13. Or maybe they just made him feel pretty. 

Logo's Poplab has a few really cool music videos this week, including Kerli's "Tea Party" which would likely make both Sarah Palin and the Mad Hatter faint.