Afternoon Meme: "True Blood" Rocks Ratings, John Amaechi On BP, and "Oz" Prequel Gets Director

Plus we get to the heart of irony, watch Jon Stewart lose his cool with Betty White, and U.S. Soccer strips down.

Let’s get this over with: According to criminal defense attorneys that Salon.com talked to, Mario Lavandeira, aka Perez Hilton, is potentially guilty of distributing child pornography, and it doesn’t matter if the image was Photoshopped or not. Even putting 17-year-old Miley’s head on an of-age model’s naked body is a felony, and if prosecuted and convicted (and it’s almost always prosecuted), he’s looking at jail time and having to register as a sex offender. And because it went out electronically, it’s a federal offense with a 15-year mandatory sentence if convicted.  There is no punch line to this, it’s just slimy.

Moving on to more pleasant topics, Towleroad points us to an interview Adam Lambert did with the Justin Lee Collins Show, and a girl in the audience popping up to claim she could turn him straight. Adam responded “Unless you've got a surprise under that skirt I don't think it's happening.” All this was before the gay audience members got involved. Video over at Towleroad.

Christopher Eccleston says he didn’t enjoy playing Britain’s iconic Doctor Who. In fact, he sounds a bit snotty and ungrateful.

Today in amusing pictures that might be NSFW, vandals in St. Petersburg, Russia painted a giant penis on the surface of a bridge. The joke comes in when you realize it’s a draw bridge.

The premiere of True Blood Sunday was up 38% in the ratings from last year’s premiere, and only slightly off from the series record. No word yet on a fourth season, but I suspect we’ll hear within days.

Speaking of the future of True Blood, Alan Ball says it could go 20 years if Charlaine Harris keeps writing books. I suspect he might have some issues with the ageless vampires aging at that point, but I’m sure something could be worked out.  Incidentally, I finished book ten on Sunday, the same day I started it.

Interview has the shirtless pictorial of the U.S. Soccer Team’s pectorals that you’ve all been waiting for.

I may have tossed up an odd picture in Morning Meme, but it’s got nothing on Hot Diggity Dog Daddy over at The Bilerico Project. Rule 34.

Man forced to marry cow faints at wedding.

I was unaware that army fatigues had Velcro on them these days – it was buttons when I served. And it is buttons once more, because the Velcro doesn’t deal well with sand, or pockets overstuffed with ammunition. But bonus points to Shoeboxblog.com for their reason: “The Army is replacing Velcro on uniforms with buttons after several soldiers accidentally displayed their weapons in public.”

Here are The 3 Most Common Uses of Irony, and they do explain why Alanis Morisette should have gone to English class instead of getting slimed when she was a kid.

Best response to a fan letter ever, and the reason I will see any movie Pixar chooses to release (finished or not).

Sam Raimi has been hired to direct Oz: The Great and Powerful, about the Wizard’s arrival in the land of Oz. I guess they’re not going for subtle beauty with this prequel. Also, last I heard Robert Downey Jr had turned down the role of the Wizard, so I’m a little confused.

Hollywood has been having an awful time at the box office this summer, and has put out a call for original ideas that aren't remakes or sequels .  The problem is that no one in Hollywood has had an original idea in 43 years. 

John Amaechi does business consulting now that he’s retired from basketball. So I guess it’s not out of left field he’d weigh in on BP and the strain on U.S.-UK relations, but it does feel odd. Basically, he’s saying screw the pension funds, BP needs to clean up their mess and the UK will just have to deal.

Local hero Jane Espenson will be writing at least one episode of HBO’s Game of Thrones series. As if I wasn’t already excited enough about the George R.R. Martin epic.

I know there are good gay Christians here, so I'm trying to be mature about the news that the 60-foot "Touchdown Jesus" statue in Ohio was struck by lightning and burned to the metal supports, but I can't help but think of Pat Robertson blaming Hurricane Katrina on the gays and Southern Decadence, and warning Miami and Orlando about honoring Pride with rainbow flags while living in Hurricane Alley. Who is being smote now, Pat?

Our FUB (Scott Evans) won't say what movie he's shooting right now, except that it's not the one he said he was shooting. I doubt it's that hard to track down though - his wardrobe is kept in a prison cell!

Oh, the possibilities.

I can't decide if the crab on top is meant as a crown for the crab on the bottom (King Crab!), or if the one on top is using the bottom one as a taxi. Whatever is going on here, it's hypnotic.

Rascal scooter of the sea.

I was looking though this list of 30 Creative Bag Advertisements, and while admittedly the Tom of Finland bag was the most striking, this Wheaties grocery bag was a close second. And really depressing. Time to go do 5 million sit ups.

False advertising for the guy carrying the bag?

I get a lot of good tips to help me put together a Meme. OMNOMNOM let me know about the Inspired By Iceland campaign for tourism from the marriage equality-loving nation. This video is SFW and so cute, and arguably some of the pairs in it are same-sex couples. There is a YouTube version with a little fleeting butt action, but this one is clean. They also have one with bear favorite Eli Roth talking about his favorite country.

Last night on The Daily Show Jon Stewart fawned all over Betty White. Not that she deserves less - but I've never seen Jon completely lose his cool over a guest before. It was divine.

I don't know much about Countess LuAnn de Lesseps, but I believe she's a Housewife of some sort. But the fact that she was willing to mock herself on Style's The Dish scored some points with me.