Afternoon Meme: David Furnish Explains for Sir Elton, NPH Gets Birthday Wish, and Mickey is Epic!

Plus we take a look at Smurfs, talk a bit about Kathy Griffin on The View, and get ready for nap time with John C. Reilly.

Well, this makes more sense than Ozzy Osbourne writing a health column: Scientists are going to map Ozzy’s genome to try and figure out how he’s still alive after years of drug and alcohol abuse. I’m guessing the results could also provide some insight on why Keith Richards is still alive.

General Sheehan, who not long ago had to retract his ridiculous statements that gays in the Dutch Army were responsible for the massacre in Srebenica, is at it again. His new op-ed says that if gays can serve openly, they’ll give everyone AIDS. Please! Everyone knows our first priority is redesigning those uniforms to be more form fitting.

Nicollette Sheridan’s lawsuit against out Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry was amended to include ABC’s investigation results. ABC concluded she was “lightly tapped on the head” as part of instruction on how to play a scene. No one is quite sure how this information helps Sheridan’s case.

BP has agreed to set aside around $20 billion into an escrow fund to pay for damage claims due to the oil spill. It’s not going to be funded all at once to keep the company’s cash flow secure, as the fund isn’t expected to be used for controlling the well, just lost wages and damage to property and income. It also allows some breathing room for BP on dividends critical to UK pension funds.

Following up on the John Amaechi essay I mentioned yesterday, John got in touch and clarified my misunderstanding of his piece. In a rather brilliantly concise response, John says “I'm saying BP hates old brits, crab fishermen and beach bums just the same. BP: equal opportunity bastard.” Which is about as perfect a summation of the situation as I’ve heard.

China is considering their first animal protection law. Now I’m an unabashed carnivore, but the things you can do at Chinese zoos, like pay $4 for a chicken or $60 for a live goat to feed the lions crossed well beyond my threshold for cruelty.

Chris Geidner does a brilliant summation of the intersection of the two major challenges going on concerning marriage equality, Perry vs. Schwarzenegger and Gill vs. Office of Personnel Management. He doesn’t go by “Law Dork” for nothing.

Buried deep in this list of spoilers for various shows, I saw something that I didn’t know was happening on True Blood. Apparently we'll be getting a flashback for vampire Eric involving a character that snicks is very, very fond of.

Copyranter shows us two very risqué ads for DSquared clothing that have a lot of flesh, one for the ladies and gay men, and one for the men, which isn’t too bad for the ladies and gay men either. Almost certainly NSFW.

We hear a lot about how the methane from cattle farming is terrible for global warming,. But in a bit of good news, it turns out whale poop counteracts global warming.

The French now have to work at their 35-hour work week until age 62 before they receive their government funded retirement. The opposition says they’ll repeal the change and take the age back to age 60.

So Sir Elton John’s civil partner David Furnish told People Elton played Rush Limbaugh’s wedding as a way of “building bridges” to the other side. He also breathed the same air at the ceremony as virulent homophobe Ken Hutcherson, who officiated.

Sarah Palin responded to president Obama’s speech on the BP oil disaster last night on Fox News. She seems to think the story about the little Dutch boy plugging the hole in the dike with his thumb is real. That was the most coherent thing she said.

The live-action Blue Beetle series that DC Comics is revealing at Comic Con has released some pictures, and it’s definitely not the fun Blue Beetle from Batman: Brave and the Bold. This is much darker.

Pink Satan has put out a video in his defense in Miley-gate, which may or may not help.  I’m starting to smell publicity stunt, myself.

Kevin Spacey is pitching a series to Showtime that has him as the leader of a cult. It’s a heavy, character driven drama. Does anyone else wish Showtime would consider something light and fun for a change?

Modern Family’s Ty Burrell did a webchat with the L.A. Times, and one topic they touched on was the gay kiss controversy. Ty was thoughtful and respectful, unlike so many people who have responded, but I still think he missed the point of the issue. Maybe Jay and Gloria haven’t kissed either, but there’s no doubt to their sex life either – it’s all over the screen, and we’ve even seen Gloria’s lingerie thrown all over the room, and she’s kissed Phil. So yes, the standard is different.

Here are 15 Things Larry King Doesn’t Know, culled from his Twitter posts. The list was then forwarded to King, who tweeted his love for it.

The third book of webcomic Shortpacked! called Shortpacked Is Totally Gay, is shipping this week.

First things first - these are Smurfs. Specifically Grouchy, Papa and Clumsy Smurf in Times Square, which is a place where I get stepped on by gawking tourists, and I'm much much more than "three apples high."

An article at USA Today says that a trailer with the 3D versions of the characters will premiere on Thursday at Yahoo!. We will of course bring you all the Neil Patrick Harris-Sofia Vergara-Jayma Mays goodness of that sneak peek.

I'm not sure, but I think Papa Smurf has had some work done - he looks younger.

One of the many requests on Neil Patrick Harris' tweeted birthday list was a real immunity Idol from Survivor. He works for CBS, so I'm sure the network can get him one.

But immunity from what? Another Harold and Kumar movie?

Some people are critical of the fact that all GLBT Pride events, film festivals, and the like are invariably sponsored by alcohol companies. But hey, it's not like McDonalds is going to write us a check. Its not just the liquor companies that are pushing alcohol consumption. Copyranter points us to the Liquor Control Board of Ontario, who wishes everyone a drunken pride!

Drink responsibly!

I'm not really certain where this interview between MTV's Josh Horowitz and John C. Reilly took a turn for the weird, but while I don't really know anything about John's movie Cyrus, I feel oddly soothed and ready to find my mat for nap time.

Epic Mickey is one of the most anticipated video games of the decade. Concept art leaked over a year ago, and it looked very dark and steampunk. The trailer is a bit more cheerful, though not exactly a sequel to Fantasia, either. It may be enough to make my forgive my Wii for the "real age" that Wii Fit gave me.

Yesterday Kathy Griffin hit The View to talk about her show and her tour, and Elisabeth was not pleased. She sat quietly and coldly for most of the interview, before opening her mouth to ask Kathy if she ever had any confrontations with people she mocked.

Our redhead said "I live for this - bring it!" But Elisabeth had nothing to bring, since her normal tomfoolery wouldn't have survived Kathy. I haven't had a chance to watch today's show to know if they addressed just how bad this looked for Elisabeth, or if they chose to ignore it.