Daytime Drive By (July 9, 2009)

I think one of the reasons I identify with Noah so much (even though he's a fictional character) is because I have a psychotic mother.  She was violent and abusive and suffered from an untreated mental illness and she just wreaked physical and emotionally violent havoc all up and through our family.

But even though I haven't seen or spoke to her her in over 20 years, I still have conflicted feelings about her.

I have two separate memories of her: Before and after  the madness.  That kind of thing can mess with a person's head (no matter how logical they are) and can also mess with their sense of self (particularly if that's the only parent you know)

I love that the writers didn't just let Noah "get over it".  It can take a person years (sometimes a lifetime) to get over that crap.

I guess my point is,  just because you are able to acknowledge that your parent is evil/sick, doesn't mean you can just "forget" about them and move on.

It doesn't make you a punk or a bad boyfriend if you don't find it easy to fully and completely hate the only parent you've ever had (even if  you can acknowledge that he is an evil bastard who belongs in jail forever)

There is always that part of you that doesn't want to believe that both versions of your parent are true (because then it's like everything before the madness was a lie) and there is part of you that worries that you too could snap. Like how much of them is in you?

Anyway, today's episode just made me think about that stuff.

I have always loved Jake's performance because of this.  I have always loved how tightly wound Noah is (which make his moments of ease stand out).  Also, Jake does this thing where Noah squints and kind of shakes his head like he's literally trying to shake The Col out of his mind) that I find really compelling (even before the Col came back this time).

I'm glad for once that instead of reminding Noah of how evil The Col was (which he surely knows and which isn't his fault) Luke , Lily and Damian just tried to help him. It may be a long time before he's really okay and I think the writers could really use this to their advantage and stop always bringing in "Big Bads" to create drama.

For once it felt like the people around him acknowledge that he might have actually big feelings about something that couldn't just be wished away.

I'm really loving Damian (even with all his baggage) he understands Noah so well and unlike Holden, he's not all judgmental and holier than thou (yes, I know Holden is more than that but still...)

The idea of having a ritual, to bury the dad he knew was a good one. so Yay Damian.

For the most part, Lily and Damian don't infantalize Luke or Noah (though I guess some would beg to differ on the "giving Luke money tip").

I have a feeling "money" is going to be an issue for these boys once they move in together.  Specifically, Luke's slacker nature versus Noah's being overly extended and less financially stable. 

"That's our job today: to control the extent to which people can publicly manifest antigay sentiment." (Bayard Rustin)  **   "Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common" (Dorothy Parker)

It never really occurred to me the professional trouble Rafe could get in for this.  It should have, given what's happening to Tea over on OLTL, but I guess I just never thought that far out.  I must have missed the part that Nikki was worried for Rafe that Adam might be using her.  It's nice that it was in there, since Nikki's been the one reading Adam like a book the whole time.

It's also been a good week for Nikki in terms of actually getting to take part in the stories, between this and getting custody of Summer.  I've heard what an indispensable part of the show she is from various people because of her contract dispute, but all I've actually seen her do in my months with the show is wander on to be suspicious or supportive of various people, always the right people.  She's basically been a Greek chorus, announcing to viewers who's right in a given storyline.

Of course, I doubt the Summer thing would go anywhere.  For her to take custody in a practical way, Summer would have to wake up, at which point she will simply say what really happened, and it will all go away.  Of course, that would require Summer to speak, so maybe not.

Even I can't summon the energy to care about today's Nuke doings.  Even though I understand why everyone is quick to blame Craig, it makes me a little sad that he's not getting any credit for his genuine attempts to do right by Carly, and be a different man.  As Maura West's maternity leave looms, I'm a little nervous about what it means for Craig.  We're still not getting any indication of what he'll be doing once Carly's gone.  I hope he doesn't fade into the woodwork.

Surely someone out there must be happy that Holden didn't act like a prat today? 

"Noah tries to evoke some emotion, which may be a stretch for poor Jake."

MAY be a stretch?  If you've been watching for the past two years, you know without question it IS a stretch. His 'acting' is as painful to watch as it must be for the actor to struggle through to perform.

I did enjoy Y&R today.   MJ was fabulous.  I just love the actress and the character is just wonderful.  BTW, did you catch Ashley saying she and Sharon's due dates are the same?  Ashley at some point is going to actually need a live baby or Adam's goose is cooked.  I'm predicting thanks to Adam, Ashley will wind up with Nick and Sharon's live baby and somehow Sharon will be convinced her baby died.

"Luke bursts in on Lily & Damien talking about his burly movers needing money. Damien admits that the $500 Luke is asking for requires an ATM trip. Funny – Luke seems to think he is an ATM. Lily of course pulls the cash out of her purse, since she always carries enough cash to be killed for. "

Um, why does Luke, who comes from a wealthy family (from both sides) and who has trust funds from his father AND grandmother never have any money?  Is he a gambler, coke head, what?  Doesn't he at least have a credit card to charge all these incidentals to? Like the movers for instance.  I don't understand this.  Someone please enlighten me?