Daytime Drive By (July 13, 2009)

Having trouble keeping up with the many gay boys cropping up on U.S. daytime soaps these days? We're here to help with our new regular feature Daytime Drive By, where we give you the rundown on Luke, Rafe, Fish and all the rest of the gay gang. Look for DDB whenever we don't have a liveblog and something gay happens on daytime television that you just have to know about!

In today's Drive By we're taking a swing through Genoa City, as Y&R's Phillip Chancellor III comes out to the rest of his family, before we check back with Fish on his date.

Genoa City

OK, I've just got my learner's permit for our little drives, but today looks to be A Very Special Episode™of The Young and the Restless, so I'm going to just ride shotgun while our defensive driving expert, snicks takes the wheel for a liveblog. Check it out over here.

My only comment is that I just love Jeanne Cooper as Katherine. She managed to use the word 'charlatan' in a sentence and make it sound natural. The world has way too few grand dames left.

Llanview

We last left Oliver Fish asserting his non-gayness by running like a wimp from the restaurant with the flirty waiter, while Kyle was being an incredibly non-specific tattle-tale with Cristian.

And on an editorial note, I've since rewatched the scenes with the flirty waiter from Friday, and I admit I totally missed the porn-movie-setup flirting.

Looking at these pictures, I'm not sure how that happened. I'll try and keep my eyes on the road today!

So in the café that substitutes for Al’s Diner on this show, Kyle and Cristian discuss ways that Fish might hurt Layla. Meanwhile, back at home, Layla discusses with Fish the fact that Cristian isn’t going to be home for hours. It doesn’t look like she wants to do each other's nails, either.

Concentrate on the waiter, Fish, and you'll get through this.

Cristian is slowly brow-beating information out of Kyle, who seems torn between keeping his mouth shut, and gossiping like he’s at Sunday brunch.  He’s admitted Fish lies about some things. Cristian decides to play multiple choice with the nature of the sin: “money, age, ten women on the side?”

Kyle finds that last one pretty hysterical.

When pressed by Cristian, who I gotta admit does intimidating pretty well, Kyle says he doesn’t  need any more trouble.  He and his big book say that anything he knew about Oliver Fish was when they were undergrads, and “anything he’s into now is his own business.”

What Oliver’s into at the moment, is treating the kitchen counters in his apartment like a couch in Victor Newman’s house. Up until Layla wraps her legs around his waist – then he suddenly stops. Maybe he’s used to being the one wrapping his legs around someone?

He backs off big, with the whole “it’s not you, it’s me” speech, and that he’s got too much respect for her to touch her intimate bits on the first date. She essentially tells him he doesn’t need to respect her.

Back at the school cafeteria – excuse me, the diner – Kyle gets pressed into admitting that he’d tell any woman not to get involved with Oliver Fish. He then pulls a picture out of his wallet of the two of them in matching outfits. They were that kind of couple?

Layla has Fish straddled on the couch when Cristian walks in and turns on the lights. Once he essentially calls her a slut, she leaves the room leaving Cristian to confront Fish about what Kyle had said regarding  Fish.

When Kyle thinks about Fish dating Layla, he's all "Girl, please!"

Fish seems more than happy to call Kyle out on being a scumbag who gets into trouble with the law. That leaves Cristian without much to be bitter about, except that Layla didn’t pick up any orange juice. So he throws the empty carton on the counter and heads off to bed.

Layla comes out in her red lingerie and quite literally looks at Fish and says “So … your place or mine?” He reminds her that she has an early morning, and actually goes to shake her hand goodnight.

DENIED!

Back at the pity-me-diner, Kyle is talking to Roxy, the best example of low-rent trash I’ve seen in years. She asks who kicked his puppy and blames his sad face on “some girl – or not!” as she snatches his picture off the counter.

Recognizing the cop, she says “whats-his-name, Salmon?” – I. Love. Her.

Once Kyle corrects the name and goes to run out the door, Roxy calls after “Hey, honey, whatever floats your boat. I got bigger fish to fry.” I. Love. Her. Even. More.

So that's it for our boys for today. It's been ... oh who am I kidding? This was dull as driving through Kansas. Let's speculate a bit, just to liven it up.

• Is Layla going to get a piece of Fish before he admits he's just not into her?
• Why is there always an empty orange juice carton when you have roommates?
• Is Roxy secretly the drag queen she appears to be?