Daytime Drive By (July 22, 2009)

Having trouble keeping up with the many gay boys cropping up on U.S. daytime soaps these days? We're here to help with our new regular feature Daytime Drive By, where we give you the rundown on Luke, Rafe, Fish and all the rest of the gay gang. Look for DDB whenever we don't have a liveblog and something gay happens on daytime television that you just have to know about!

In today's Drive By we're going to spend the day at the largest private residence in Genoa City, the Newman Ranch, as we see if heteroflexible Adam gets his heart's desire. Later in the day, snicks takes us to Llanview for all the hot Crayfish action in a liveblog.

Genoa City

We open to Adam and Heather bravely sitting on that Petri dish couch, discussing his imminent eviction from the Newman Ranch. She says his new halfway house is really nice, and doesn’t get why he doesn’t want out, since daddy doesn’t love him that much.

OSHA sent samples of the Y&R couches out for testing

Downstairs, Ashley is informed by The Great Victor Newman (TGVN) that Adam is moving out. She sounds less than thrilled. Either she's a natural blond, or the fumes from working in a fragrance lab all those years have rotted her mind.

Adam presses Heather to turn down his transfer, since he’s under house arrest and she’s an Assistant District Attorney. She reminds him that she’s incredibly bad at her job.

She leaves, passing Ashley at the revolving door to Adam’s bedroom.

Ashley asks Adam to be the godfather to the pillow baby she’s not having, thanks to Adam, but that she thinks she's having thanks to Adam, that they’re planning on naming after Adam's mother.

OW! I hurt my brain with that sentence.

Adam sits in his room, listening on his bug to TGVN and Paul agree to hold a press conference and offer a reward to find Mary Jane, since she nearly killed Summer and all a few weeks back.

Adam goes to take off his house arrest anklet, so he can slip out the window, and has an epiphany!

I can use this thing for something besides the obvious fashion value!

As the impromptu press conference begins, we’re reminded of just how rich TGVN is supposed to be as he offers a one million dollar reward for information leading to the arrest of Mary Jane, with no thought to that sum of money.

One Milllllioonnn Dollars

Adam dashes into the potting shed, alerting Mary Jane to the press conference and tells her she has to leave.

She's reluctant to leave Jack, but then she hears sirens (somebody noticed Adam’s bracelet went out the window with Adam this time!), and she just wants to get her things, but Adam tells her there’s no time, pushing her out the door as she screams “But Kitty! Kitty!” 

Hopefully some crazed collector will take Mr. Kitty in now.

Once she’s out the door, Adam grins like the cat who could still eat the canary.

Nikki and Nick discuss Nick having caught Adam with all the dresses a few days back. Nick says “Maybe the clothes were for him.” Nikki says, “Don’t laugh. I don’t know what his fashion tastes are, but I did catch him in a very compromising position with his lawyer.” And proceeds to explain she doesn’t mean Heather.

Oh Nikki, I love you, and the stripper pole you rode in on, but STFU!

The one police detective in town comes to the door and asks TGVN if he knows Adam’s left the property. Adam dashes in out of breath claiming he chased a dark haired woman out the back of the house but lost her, since he’s blind and all. Heather uses power she says she doesn’t have to get the cop to search the grounds.

Nick volunteers to out Adam to his dad. He claims to not care about Adam’s sex life.

TGVN requests to Heather that his motion to transfer Adam from the lap of luxury to a halfway house be withdrawn, and thanks Adam for his loyalty.

Adam's creepy smile has a lot of uses. This is joy.

We join Mary Jane, dirty, in a torn t-shirt in an alley, talking to herself about being alone, everyone gone, even Kitty.

Join us tomorrow, when somebody spills the beans about Rafe and Adam to TGVN. But until then, let's ponder:

• Which of Victor and Nikki's kids is going to trip over themselves to out Adam to daddy?
• How does Adam think he can get away with Mary Jane not telling on him? For that matter, how does Victor think he's going to get away with Mary Jane not incriminating him?
• Is Rafe stored in the Prop Department when he's not onscreen? Because that's how they use him.