Daytime Drive By (July 29, 2009)

Nightmare backseat driver was the obvious first use of screaming Luke.

Having trouble keeping up with the many gay boys cropping up on U.S. daytime soaps these days? We're here to help with our new regular feature Daytime Drive By, where we give you the rundown on Luke, Rafe, Fish and all the rest of the gay gang. Look for DDB whenever we don't have a liveblog and something gay happens on daytime television that you just have to know about!

Today we swing by Genoa City mostly to just gawk at the mancandy. Then a quick swing through Oakdale to see their mancandy.

Genoa City

We’re looking at a whole day of the Fab Four and lesser Newmans today it seems. But we do get fauxmosexual Adam’s girlfriend, Heather, proving how bad she is at being a District Attorney, by authenticating audio evidence on her laptop. Those silly CSI people are so overrated!

Oooh! J.T. I forgive the show for the boredom I’m about to experience with the whole Colleen-has-to resign-from-the-board storyline.

JT never wore a suit before he worked for Victor.

J.T. stands behind Victoria as she blackmails Colleen to resign for flashing her headlights at the bar and having the video hit the web. Victor is telling Ashley she gets the seat on the board of directors, even though he won’t even let her make tea at this point.

J.T. admits Victor wanted him to dig up dirt on Colleen and he ignored it, so he thinks the whole Girls Gone Wild routine was a setup. Victoria is proving she’s her father’s daughter with accusations of disloyalty to the family.

What show am I watching again?

Ashley and Victor sit on the couch discussing the fact that he’s just gifted her a seat on the board of a multibillion dollar conglomerate, and she suddenly goes “Oh! The baby kicked!” Yes, that baby, that our buddy Adam caused her to lose months back.

Victor fires J.T. for protecting Colleen in the Girls Gone Wild incident. I am supportive of this, because suits are not how I like my J.T.

Without a Newman job, JT can go back to clothes more suited to him.

OK, this was largely boring as heck, with no gays, no heteroflexible guys, no crazy cat lady. But I understand tomorrow is really, really good, so we’ll be here. Until then:

• J.T. knows Rafe is gay, and is about to have marital problems. Anybody else hoping...?
  
• Which gay story do you want: Adam/Rafe or Phillip/Chance?
• Would you rather just have all Mary Jane, all the time?

Oakdale

Casey is back with Allison? And Riley is chasing Margo around the kitchen giggling as Tom walks in. I can’t blame Tom for thinking what obviously just crossed his mind.

Well, someone got fresh Botox™! It looks like Jack is going to go take his kids to the Snyder farm. I wonder if his forehead will move or just crack when he has to fight with Craig about it.

Tom plots to ship Riley off to Milwaukee, and Margo is so not having it. Meanwhile, Casey takes Allison on a romantic picnic on the rooftop where he once stood her up in the cold.

Margo and Tom run off so as to not fight in front of the kid. Tom says Riley is leaving immediately, Margo says no. Something is missing…

And that’s Casey, with Allison straddling him, finally about to get some, and his mom calls repeatedly until he answers, and summons him home. Blocked!

It's hard to believe someone this hot has so much trouble closing the deal.

Casey comes home to find his dad so happy Riley is leaving, he offers Casey a beer to celebrate. It seems Tom thinks Margo is having an affair with Riley, who he doesn’t know is secretly her son Adam. Despite the secret, this kind of grosses Casey out. Knowing that an Oedipus complex is not one of Adam’s many sins, he defends Riley to Tom.

There are a truly disappointing number of hot photos of Riley available.

Since Allison and Riley are keeping each other company at Java (nope, Noah’s not behind the counter), it’s inevitable that Casey walks in and gets the wrong idea.

3-2-1

The leap to a conclusion that Casey makes is pretty short, and soon he is telling Riley he can keep his room, but to stay away for a few hours, since their mom has to do some naked convincing of her love for Tom, and nobody wants to see that, including this recapper.

And finally, we see the reunion of Dammit! Janet, with her baby sister, the waitress from Chicago.

OK, so tomorrow looks to be when everything hits the fan: Damien/Luke/Lucinda/Lily/Holden, Janet/Jack, everything. We’ll be back in Oakdale for all the mess, be it here, or maybe even live. Until then:

• It looks like everybody is against Luke tomorrow – do they think this is a wise plan of attack?
• Lily seems upset that Damien is sleeping with her sister-in-law, but is that rational?
• Will I get additional screaming Luke pictures after tomorrow to keep up the Photoshop work?