Daytime Drive By (August 13, 2009)

Rafe drops off Adam's toaster oven, and Luke's jealous it's nicer than his.

Having trouble keeping up with the many gay boys cropping up on U.S. daytime soaps these days? We're here to help with our new regular feature Daytime Drive By, where we give you the rundown on Luke, Rafe, Fish and all the rest of the gay gang. Look for DDB whenever we don't have a liveblog and something gay happens on daytime television that you just have to know about!

So it's rumored that junior defense attorney Rafe Torres makes a double, and possible triple appearance today, interacting with Sharon/Jack, Heather, then Adam. Wonder if he pulls off the Hat Trick? Sports reference! Our pic post rubbing off on me - did I get it right? I feel so butch...

Meanwhile, over on As The World Turns, our boys aren't scheduled to appear, but I understand what happens today is important to understanding why tomorrow we get to hear what Screamin' Luke actually sounds like.

Genoa City

Sharon and Jack are having breakfast, and Sharon has ordered half the menu. Eatin’ for two, or was the jail food that bad?

This isn't even an appetizer to what Sharon ordered.

Rafe at Crimson Lights, finally not wearing a suit jacket. Heather walks in to discuss Sharon’s case with him, and is a total biatch.

J.T.! is being given pictures of Paul’s sister, Patty, to look for. Patty, of course, is someone everyone is looking for, except they don’t know she’s had some plastic surgery to rival Mr. Kitty’s. We cut to TGVN getting a phone call from Mary Jane that sounds like a prelude to blackmail. This. Can. Not. End. Well.

Mary Jane looks awfully clean for someone who was living on the street. She’s calling from the bar, demanding a million dollars.

No one is creative about their blackmail amounts these days...

Rafe accuses Heather of making it personal. She says he’s the one sleeping with a client – didn’t she sleep with someone she prosecuted?  They have a screaming fight about who is worse at ethics violations that had real potential, but Paul comes in and plays protective father to a weeping Heather.

Abbey is trying to let Ashley be motherly while Adam watches through his spycams (seriously, why is Adam always watching/searching/chasing? He’s nearly blind!). Abbey then spots his spycam hidden in a piece of artwork. It’s pretty bulky, I have no idea how nobody has seen the thing.

The cameras Adam's using are huge compared to this. No wonder he got caught.

Mary Jane mentions that she has a contact in his house, and she does it while petting her hat like a cat. She hangs up suddenly when J.T.! enters the bar to install the security system.

Without her precious Mr. Kitty, Mary Jane will pet anything.

Victor goes back inside and is shown the spycam, which he writes off to corporate espionage. That must relieve Adam who literally comes flying down the stairs. Again, how can he do this stuff?

Rafe crashes Jack and Sharon at breakfast to tell Sharon his sex life means that to avoid jail for her 34^th shoplifting arrest they’re going to make her go to rehab. She says “No No No!”

I do see the resemblance.

Rafe reminds Sharon that if she takes the deal, she’ll be back in 30 days, or she could go to prison for ten years for the ring, and since she’s rich, a celebrity, and famous, a jury isn’t going to find her sympathetic.

Heather’s whining to daddy about how she’s smart in her career (Hah!) and so dumb in her personal life (she doesn’t see the connection).

Ashley seems convinced it’s Estella who bugged the place, but she doesn’t trust the police (because of Rafe), and she thinks they need the guards to physically bar some sort of tank attack by the elderly maid. So they call J.T. to search for more bugs. We see Mary Jane slip a note into J.T.’s things.

Bar the gates!

Is it too much to ask that Adam seduce J.T. to cover the bugs he hid around the ranch?

Pretty please? I'll be your best friend...

Once J.T. finds cameras and microphones in Ashley’s bedroom, they decide it’s not personal. J.T. then finds a camera that Adam just planted in his own room to throw suspicion off himself. Adam pretends outrage, and grabs onto the hope that Estella is guilty of spying on him. Think of the footage. Him and Rafe. Him and Heather. Him and ?

The spycam was in the bookcase pointing at the couch.

Heather decides that at best she was Adam’s beard, and at worst he was bangin’ her because she’s a D.A. Smartest thing she’s said in months.

Adam is congratulating himself on being so clever, then Rafe knocks on his bedroom door. Not feeling so clever now, are we? Rafe is all compassionate on Adam’s closet door being removed, and Adam looks like he’s wondering if he’s all stocked up on mouthwash.

For Adam, they may go together.

Victor reminds J.T., who unfortunately put on a blazer to see his father-in-law, that he’s only welcome because Ashley asked for him.  J.T. reaches for his phone and finds Mary Jane’s note that says “Want to know all about Mary Jane Benson? Ask Victor Newman – he knows everything.”

I think this is all coming to a head tomorrow, because it looks like interspersed with boring Winters family stuff, we have more Adam/Rafe arguing, plus J.T. discovering Mary Jane’s been hiding under his nose.

• Can Adam derail Rafe without sleeping with him again? And how many times can you manage that before you need a label besides straight?
• Will Heather put the pieces together about her relationship with Adam?
• When J.T. finds Mary Jane, how's he going to save Victor from her ratting him out?

Oakdale

So Faith is out at the Snyder farm, and watches Damien flirt with Meg, instead of her mother, which obviously confuses her.

When left alone with Damien, she questions whether Meg is his girlfriend, or if there’s someone he likes better.

Holden calls Lily from the cab of an antique truck, trying to find out if his family is joining him. The call gets actual static, so when I look up I’m stunned not to see an antique cell phone.

He's doing a theme of old stuff. Also, this is the truck, color and all.

Margo is rockin’ a sexy new haircut when they hear that Kim’s out of the TV studio and in the hospital with a heart attack. More Bob confusion, and I’m really not enjoying it.

Holden is talking to Lily when a man in a Kentucky Police uniform flags him down. He gets in the old truck (I should mention, in this scene, the truck is gorgeous, candy-apple red, this is important). Holden notices blood on the cop’s uniform, and then gets a gun pulled on him.

Goodnatured Holden gets into more trouble...

Lily is interrogating Faith about her mood, and about Meg/Damien/Holden/Lily. Holden is driving down the road at gunpoint to strains of “I Never Promised You a Rose Garden” playing on the A.M. radio in the truck.

The radio helpfully tells us the guy in the truck with Holden is a convicted murderer who killed a cop during his escape.

Damien shows up to test Lily’s loyalty to her husband wearing the shiniest black shirt I’ve ever seen.

Holden realizes his kidnapper has passed out from blood loss. Does he do the smart thing, drift gently to s stop, then run? Of course not! He reaches for his cell phone. He of course gets caught, and ordered to pull over.

Holden gets told to strip, everything, clothes, wedding ring, wallet. This guy has been reading my diary. Or my slashfic. Or this website. I get around with my fantasies – better chance of reaching the ATWT writers.

Sadly, when we come back to the scene, Holden isn’t naked, but wearing the bloody cop uniform.

Now we know why Holden was wearing a shirt with epaulets and patches.

Suddenly, Faith decides with Damien and Meg going on a romantic vacation together, she wants to have the family vacation. They decide to wait for Holden’s call to leave.

Meanwhile, Holden decides to swerve off the main road. Helpfully, they pass a hand-painted sign propped up again a shed that says “Danger – Cliff Ahead.” The convict and Holden fight for the wheel, and then a pinkish, rusty old truck goes over a cliff and explodes, 1970s style.

The footage they used today wasn't much higher quality than this cap.

Notice the color of the truck going over the cliff. It's more this:

Than this:

So…tomorrow we see our boy react to all this, likely with all the over-the-top silliness that we love in Luke. Until then, discuss:

• Did they want this stunt so bad, they didn’t care that the trucks looked nothing alike between the show, and the old movie footage of a crash?
• Is Holden dead? A victim of further budget cuts on the show with veteran actors?
• I really don't like Lily lately. I doubt it gets better soon. Anybody else sick of her?

Llanview

We liveblogged that with snicks at the wheel over here. I finally caught up.

I have some general thoughts I'll toss out to be part of a discussion:

• I'm loving David Vickers. I'd love him more with fewer clothes. "Your alters are more interesting that you are." - Does he bring his own comedy writer, or just adlib, because this show isn't normally this funny.
• Brody is being allowed to wear clothing. This must stop. This woman he's talking to that appears crazy is boring me. Can we see her looney side, please?
• They calmed Roxy's hair down, but not her personality. Thank god.
• Why do I wish someone would shoot McBain?
• Why do we so rarely see some of our gays shirtless? Luke, almost never; today was the first time we've seen Rafe without a suit jacket, much less a shirt; and Oliver and that damn black tank are on my last nerve. I thought gays were the gym bunnies (blogger sucks in gut while typing). ABC in particular likes shirtless soap guys - what the hell? If they're shirtless, people might think of the homos in a sexual way?
• Brody and Oliver are both wearing dark shirts that look awfully alike - two-for-one sale, or are they sharing? Or - cop shirts without the badges, etc?