Daytime Drive By (October 2, 2009)

I feel we were promised the left, and we got the right. Meanwhile, Knish speeds on!

Having trouble keeping track of the many gay boys cropping up on U.S. daytime soaps these days? We're here to help with our new semi-regular feature Daytime Drive By, where we give you the rundown on Luke, Rafe, Fish and all the rest of the gay gang. Look for DDB whenever we don't have a liveblog and something gay happens on daytime television that you just have to know about!

Today Mason is making the lamest move on Noah in the history of pickup lines on As the World Turns, but for Oliver/Kyle/Nick/Layla/Cristian on OLTL, head on over to the liveblog by Punmaster snicks!

As The World Turns

Noah and Mason sit in an office that is way too nice for a college professor. They’re looking at head shots for people to play the lead in Noah’s student film (which I thought you always got a buddy to do, because there’s never any money for student films). But then I remembered Damien had bankrolled this project.

I think they used ATWT actors' headshots. This really looks like Noah's on the big screen.

Noah rejects a bunch of people, and I have to admit, if they had any chemistry at all, it would be a bit like having an adult film on with a buddy – the concept is charged with potential, but the execution, meh. When Noah finally finds somebody he thinks is cute, Mason tells him the guy isn’t as cute as him. Awkward!

Noah realizes Mason "accidentally" getting a single bed in the room on those trips was on purpose.

Damien and Lily are at the police station with Jack, who’s trying to get Damien to fess up that Holden is alive. Evidently Meg stole all his files from his hotel room, and is plotting with Lucinda against Damien.

Back at the uncomfortable moment with Noah and Mason, Mason tries leading with "picking the leading man can make or break a film", and since it’s Noah’s alter ego, the choice is doubly important. I laugh out loud when he says "It's important that the actor have the same charisma" as Noah.

When he realizes Noah is squirming to the other edge of the room like he’s seen a spider, he admits the attraction to Noah. Noah mumbles like he’s shocked that inappropriate attractions happen (he’s forgotten Luke & Brian evidently), and says he has to go meet Luke.

He can't be further from Mason and still in the room.

Blah, blah, blah, Lily doesn’t like being made to feel guilty about sleeping with Damien before her husband’s crispy fried remains have cooled in the ground.

Noah finds Luke at Java, studying. Since Luke knows he’s not there to advance their relationship, he wants to know why Noah isn’t looking at casting photos of hot men. Noah fesses up that that his prof came on to him.

Oh no he didn't!

Holden and the blond hillbilly are trapped in a cellar with lighting as bad as one would expect.

Luke wants to know if Mason touched him. Noah admits to an arm around the shoulder. Luke rants about the fact that Mason is his professor, and hitting on his students is unacceptable. He starts to go out the door to “get in his face.”

Luke gives up on the script, and just starts mugging like he does when he's bored.

Noah stops him, saying maybe he overreacted. Luke says it’s sexual harassment, and it can’t stand.

Lucinda has been defanged. Her battle with Damien, which I had so looked forward to, is boring.

Luke, in the alley: Mason is in a position of power. If Noah doesn’t tell him it’s wrong, he’s giving permission for it to continue. He insists that they go confront Mason immediately, together.

Maybe he has something stuck in his teeth.

Nuke barges into Mason’s office, and before Luke can attack, Mason starts apologizing and saying what he did was wrong, and it won’t happen again. He says life has been strange since George is gone. They shake hands, and the boys leave. Luke claims satisfaction. That makes one of us.

Luke is having none of this sh%$t.

Holden and Maeve find the stash of stolen money, because evidently they’re in the dead crispy guy’s cellar.

Meanwhile Faith enters the Lilypad and gets a stricken look on her face.  Damien, who’s upstairs in Lily’s bed, goes downstairs to investigate the noise, and finds Eb holding Faith with a gun to her head. 

Wonder if action hero Noah gets to save Faith?

So that was our first daytime conflict in a long time. I actually had to jumpstart the car for the trip to Oakdale. My Twitter says OLTL was boring today - did I miss out watch ATWT? Will Luke report Mason? Will the boys get a real story, that does involve Luke: The Avenger? Sound off below.