Liveblogging "One Life To Live" Big Day, Part Two "How Can You Say No To Those Eyes?"

Hopefully Kyle put a nicer comforter on the wedding registry. Maybe when Ollie comes knocking they can put this one to use one more time?

snicks is still out sick, so you're stuck with me. I'm not as quick as our poor snickerdoodle, so bear with me.

Join us for the fun, and refresh for updates!

2:10PM: We open to our film stars, Marco and Langston, talking about attending the Big Gay Wedding with Star and Co.

Oooh! There's a little bear cub at Kyle's door asking to come in and try the bed and taste Kyle's porridge. 

GiGi appears to have gone to a Hanson concert with Schuyler, and now MmmBop! is stuck in my head, and to top it off, when they show Rex, he's wearing clothes and bribing people. He's not very good since he got nothing from the night shift. 

Cristian is trying to convince Layla that waiting for a woman in a coma to wake up and bless their booty calls, they may never get laid again. She's not having it though.

Kyle lets our cub in. He notices the mood candles, and the suit. He wants to know if it's love, and Kyle hedges.

Marco's afraid to be seen at a fake gay wedding, because he has daddy issues, and daddy wouldn't approve of fake marriage, or gay marriage. Langston tells him in no uncertain terms, "It's Dorian's World."

Rex is spending the night in the hotel with Jared's wife? GiGi isn't gonna like it!

I've just been informed Natalie is Rex's sister, so that may have been wrong, but do we have a blood test on this? It is a soap after all.

2:15pm: Cristian makes an amazing case for love, but Layla is gun shy.

Rex announces Natalie is his sister for people like me who had never seen them in the same room. She says she's willing to do anything to be with Jared again, even living in a cave.

GiGi and her 80s hair are making the case for bad music

Marco goes on and on about having just gotten his family back and that he doesn't want to lose them over going to a fake gay wedding. Langston reminds him it's not his gay wedding. We've been trying to tell Republicans that for years, and it never helps.

Kyle wants Oliver to be willing to declare his love publicly. Ollie thinks he's come awfully far in the last month, but Kyle wants the full monty. Oliver doesn't want it to be a contest, "May the gayest man win." Kyle thinks splitting the difference might work, but cub's dug in his paws.

2:30pm: Layla interrupts Cristian's fantasy sequence with the news she's leaving him before their relationship starts. OK, so she's just moving out. Same thing in this case.

Kyle wants a boyfriend he can walk down the street holding hands with. Oliver doesn't want to be dragged any further out of the closet than he's already stumbled for the moment. Kyle doesn't want to be dragged back in.

Kyle's gonna make me cry.

Marco and Cole sit and list every ridiculous plot Dorian's been involved in so they can impugn her integrity on the gays. The girls are loyal though.

Rex decides to check in with his wife, who's sharing her earbuds with another man. He detects a chill, even over the phone. 

2:37pm: GiGi listens to Rex squirm on the phone, trying to not admit what he's up to. GiGi hangs up on him. Schuyler leaves her, reluctantly. I think she drove him off with the bad music. The CIA has used that to make terrorists surrender.

The McBain/Natalie fantasy sequences are beyond my skill level. I start typing only to realize it's not happening. It could also be that I have limited interest.

2:45: Langston brings up a valid point - it will be hard to prove Dorian isn't a lesbian, or bisexual. But it looks like Cole is going to side with Marco. Neither of them are gonna get any then.

Fish says a tearful goodbye to Kyle, wishing Nick can give him what it is he needs. Our little cub cries against the door frame outside Kyle's room. Can somebody go hug him?

Schuyler has a fantasy sequence with a lighter of GiGi seducing him. Another potential arsonist, GiGi is doing the same thing, but she's being mentally faithful to Rex in her fantasy world.

But she's not hearing Rex's phone call over her bad pop music. Oddly, when he has a fantasy about GiGi, it's more about her not being mad at him than it is sexual.

Remember when Nick was trying to get clothes off you Kyle? That's what changes when you get married.

2:55: Star draws an uncomfortable parallel between her underage marriage and gay marriage, but neither of the boys are budging, so the girls are going stag to the wedding.

Despite Layla having a fantasy of a shirtless Cristian (which is how mine all go), he hands her a check for the bills and leaves, fully dressed. Fortunately, like all television women, she has a 'mo to hold her. 

But at least someone is finally hugging Oliver!!!!

We close on a video montage of everyone wishing they were with someone who isn't there. 

Someone will be back tomorrow - hopefully snicks, but if not, Dennis or myself will attempt to make a poor substitute.