Morning Meme: Book 'em Danno, "Alice In Wonderland" Spoilers, Getting Mark Salling All Over Your Body, Tim Gunn Is Judging You

The remake Hawaii Five-O just got hotter. Alex O’Loughlin of Moonlight has been signed to join Daniel Dae Kim in the cop drama. You know, making these guys wear clothes and thus failing to exploit such studliness would be a crime. Buts, since it’s airing on CBS, I’m guessing we'll see a lot of black dress socks with sandals and oversize flowered shirts.

Maybe it is a gay conspiracy against murder music star Buju Banton. While he sits in jail awaiting a trial on trying to buy massive amounts of cocaine from a federal agent, the prosecutor has a scheduling conflict. So his trial is delayed from a March start to some indefinite date in the future. If that’s not Gay Standard Time, I don’t know what is.

Surprising no one, The Ellen DeGeneres Show was renewed for another three years. Terms of the deal weren’t disclosed, but the Ellen flag she’s been trying to fly around the world now flies over several islands in the South Pacific.

Boredom can kill you. It’s not so much the soul crushing nothingness as it is the things that you try and drive it out with, like eating, smoking and drinking. You could always just try and have a life of going out to dinner with friends, hitting the bars and closing off the night with a cigar. Wait… 

The blogs over at the Los Angeles Times have what they’re calling “massive plot spoilers” for Alice In Wonderland. I’ll be honest, I’m linking because I trust the Los Angeles Times – I have not read them because I don’t want the movie spoiled.

Joe.My.God is reporting about a new mega-dance club opening in New York City. Part of a “hetero-friendly” hotel and entertainment complex, it will have a capacity of 750 people. He managed to not laugh, barely. He remembers Twilo, the Roxy and Tunnel like I remember Nation in Washington, D.C. I was in Nation for Firecracker one year when the Fire Marshall shut it down with 8,000 people. That is a mega-club. Kids today. Pfft.

Rod 2.0 points us to a smokin’ hot PSA about Post Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP), which can help prevent you from contracting HIV if started immediately after exposure. It’s far from perfect, and reports that people are using it instead of condoms terrifies me, but if learning about it can save one person, I’m all for it.

The new Volvo S60 is expanding its support for pedestrian recognition. The car will spot pedestrians, warn the driver, and if the driver doesn’t respond quickly enough, apply full braking power. This is all very cool, but it’s also a piece of the puzzle for Skynet and the robot apocalypse.

The new Spider-Man will be in 3D. Duh.

The roof of a Smithsonian warehouse in Maryland has collapsed from the snow. The building houses artifacts that aren’t currently on display at the National Air & Space Museum. Curators aren’t being allowed in the unstable building to inspect the items, but say they are stored and sealed containers and should be protected. 

Mega Buzz has scoops that on Brothers & Sisters the Walkers will be “shattered” as a family. They also say that on Southland, Officer Ben Sherman isn’t a rookie and is allowed to take the patrol car out by himself sometimes. As long as he’s home by 10, and there better not be a scratch on it.

Newsweek has an amazing story written by a Major in the Israeli Army, who also happens to be gay. Guess what? It doesn’t matter. Ten years ago, they were concerned that it would matter, but in a country with mandatory military service, and what is generally rated as one of the deadliest fighting forces in the world, gay partners stand on stage with soldiers for their promotion ceremonies.

Penelope Cruz is in negotiations to star in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. While Johnny Depp was reported as confirmed, none of the other stars from the first films have been. The plot of this movie is to touch on the Fountain of Youth, but little more is known.

You can go take a test to see which of Dante’s Circles of Hell you’re destined for. Turns out I’m not as bad as I thought – I’m only in the fifth circle, which is hellish enough I guess. And has the added bonus of not being much of a commute to the condo I’ve been spending weekends in. You only have ten minutes once you click over to finish the test, which is also a form of hell.

Unreality has pictures of the Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien set. Built last year for a cost of $50 million, it’s being ripped apart for scrap as we speak. I guess a reconciliation is out of the question? 

The New York Times has a list of items that are reported aphrodisiacs for you to dine on come Valentine’s Day. The irony is that a few of them that work on men (cherries) decrease arousal in women. Maybe gays are the natural order after all.

Filing under worst news I’ve heard in a while, Universal is considering a remake of Jaws in 3D. If memory serves, we’ve already seen Jaws in 3D and it was awful. But even more upsetting is that one of my least favorite actors, Tracy Morgan is being considered for the role of Matt Hooper, who was originally portrayed by Richard Dreyfuss. Shoot. Me. Now.

Mark Salling has a bunch of merchandise up on his website. OK, he has two t-shirts and a poster, but they each have his hotness on them, and he'll autograph the poster for an additional fee.

You know you want him on your body.

I know guys that would consider this worth the risk.

Craig Ferguson tweeted this picture of an oddly-proportioned Tim Gunn. He says it sits on his desk, and when he falls asleep, it critiques his pants.

I'm not loving the lines on this Gunn.

OK, I know I was trying to lay off cats and Lost, but this just fell in my lap. Is it better if I just present it without a put down?

The universe taunts me with these things.

This exists in the world right now. Outside Baltimore to be precise. The world is a better place because someone built this.

Smite your enemies!

Monkeys make me happy. Happy monkeys make me very happy.

OK, so I was trying to lay off cats. But this one isn't evil, he's just dramatic.

It's not wrong if it works.

And I was trying to lay off Lost. But I need to use this one because it's not relevant after Valentine's Day.

I don't even know if it's funny.

And today's advertising is not for a gas can. That would be too direct. This ad for for SmartCar, those itty bitty things that make Americans feel like they have small penises, even the women.

They're good on gas.

And finally, via Twitter, we give you Broadway Blue Steel.

Sieber, Will Swenson, and Cheyenne Jackson.