Morning Meme: Jimmy Kimmel Is Mean, Why is the Little Girl Swearing, and Naturally Joy Street Is in Holland

Remember back in December, Matthew Morrison sat down for an interview with Elle, and they basically forced him to declare he was heterosexual? It read cute, but in practice, it was evidently really uncomfortable. Elle better back off – nobody is mean to my Matthew!

You know how every week you find out that something is going to kill you? Smoking, alcohol, sex, sugar, imitation sugar? There’s something that may make it less likely that you’re going to get prostate cancer: male pattern baldness. Not exactly something you can enjoy, but if you’re going thin, maybe there’s an upside.

Love Alien? How do you feel about Prayers for Bobby? Then you’re going to love The Bilerico Project’s interview with Sigourney Weaver at the GLAAD Media Awards this weekend.

Tom Selleck’s mustache looks to be headed back to the small screen in an hour-long police drama Reagan’s Law. Not since Magnum P.I. have we seen Selleck for an hour every week on a regular basis.

Toy Story 3 was shown to a skeptical exhibitor at the ShoWest conference, and he was moved to tears by Many Important Things.

The saddest Christmas of my life was when I got the Commodore 64 I so desperately wanted, and it was defective. I was one crushed kid. Still, I loved the replacement, and the cassette tape drive I loaded games from. So I’m a little nostalgic that the name is coming back on a retro keyboard-PC later this year.

I hate reality television, and SyFy is developing a huge stack of reality television. I hereby withdraw my prior objections to the USA Network, and will see you for a Royal Pains in my White Collar, Psych viewing parties.

On the other hand, they’re also moving forward with Sharktopus and Mega Piranha, so maybe I can stick with my SyFy.

Glenn Beck is scraping the bottom of the barrel for sponsors of his daily comedy show on Fox News. You can now buy seeds for your apocalypse garden for after the fall of civilization that he’s predicting. That’s what Hollywood calls “synergy.”

There’s a picture floating around the internet of Batman with a lightsaber battling a giant shark. This is the greatest piece of art that has every been produced. The Mona Lisa is humbled in its presence. There’s an interview with the artist, along with a gallery of some of his work.

Philip Seymour Hoffman is trying to get financing for a film with himself as a charismatic man who starts a new religion, and The Hurt Locker’s Jeremy Renner as his trusting right hand man. But they seem to need $35 million, which is a lot for this type of thing.

There’s an extensive interview with the folks behind Kick-Ass, and a lot of it centers on the language of the film and how much trouble it was to get an American film company to allow the ten-year-old Hit Girl to be this violent and foul-mouthed.

Amongst the 9 Movie Quotes That Need to Be Retired, the #1 quote is from the 40-Year-Old Virgin, “You Know how I know you’re gay?” That should have died years ago, but I refuse to give up this quote: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while you could miss it.”

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Originally created as a one-off for a Jeremy Scott fashion show, Disney decided it was more in its interest to team with Adidas and make real shoes than sue for copyright infringement. These babies will soon be available for about $280/pair.

I was always more of a Donald Duck guy myself.

The Big Picture has a series of photos of the Shanghai Expo that opens in May. It's amazing what kind of architecture you can manage with the seemingly unlimited funds that China seems able to deploy. The Olympics look positively tame next to this stuff.

This is part of Joy Street at the Dutch pavilion.

I've taken a lot of heat for the amount of heat I've given our feline companions. I'd like to present this entirely plausible photo strip telling the other side of the story.

Dog's gotta eat.

From the world of advertising, we'll go back in time to when people thought Windows Vista would be a good idea. Or at least a better idea than Windows XP. I want to live in this house. It is now my dream, and I need to know that Microsoft actually made this in the real world.

Think how fun going to the kitchen for coffee would be.

This ad for hair color makes the best use of negative space I've ever seen. Obviously it's not terribly portable as advertising goes, but then again, it probably only exists in front of a green screen anyhow. But kudos for the illusion.

Natural color indeed.

They're still trying to make me care about Prince of Persia, but I think that may be beyond even Jake Gyllenhaal's abs (which we do see exposed in this featurette - finally). Once these two get together, I swear I get a Romancing the Stone vibe of the characters, and that was barely amusing 30 years ago.

Modern Family is new tonight, and while Mitchell goes off with his father, Cameron decides to try and bond with Gloria, which sounds great on the surface. But there was an "incident" the week before, and things might not go so well.

Jimmy Kimmel was on David Letterman's show last night, and they spent some time hating on a topic I know everyone around here loves to hate on: Jay Leno. What surprised me was when it came down to it, Jimmy's teeth showed - a lot. This is a man who knows how to go for the jugular, and likes doing it.