Morning Meme: NBC Recycles, Hit-Girl Encourages Parental Control, Craziest Michele Bachman Quotes and Steve the Monkey Lives!

Muppet abuse, Mark Salling channels the Rat Pack, Seth MacFarlane gets a Teddy Bear, and Fizbo the drummer?

In further proof that NBC is creatively bankrupt, word came out that they were prepping LOLA, or Law & Order: Los Angeles for the fall season. That will have Dick Wolf’s franchise occupying four hours of their schedule. I wonder if they can manage a gay character with that many shows?

Need somewhere to ride out the coming 2012 apocalypse? Vivos has space in their underground ark starting at only $40,000. This is real enough that NBC News reported on it. Can’t we just send Sarah Palin and Congressional Republicans down there and forget to dig them up?

Chloe Moretz, the 13-year-old actress who portrays Hit-Girl in the movie Kick-Ass is adamant that kids should not go see her violent, foul-mouthed character, and parents shouldn’t let them. But she also says that just because Hit-Girl says something, don’t presume she understands what it means. In the context of her character’s life, there’s nothing wrong with it, even if it’s shocking in the real world.

Determined to make the most money possible, Warner Bros. is looking for total unknowns – and we mean a national commercial is too much exposure – to star in a raunchy, low budget comedy. The plan is to shoot for a movie similar to The Hangover, but without the star salaries, and budgeted in the $12 million range. In other words, they want Skins for the big screen, with grownups.

Spartacus: Blood and Sand hit series highs for Friday night’s episode. It’s no wonder the network is exploring ways to keep interest up until they can get Andy Whitfield back in a loincloth.

I’m not sure how they narrowed it to ten, but there’s a list of the craziest Michele Bachman quotes. Out of those ten, three are about gays directly, with one more sideswipe in the form of “Not all cultures are created equal.” But the gem has to be “Normalization (of gayness) through desensitization. Very effective way to do this with a bunch of second graders, is take a picture of ‘The Lion King’ and a teacher might say  ‘Do you know the music for this was written by a gay man?’ The message is: ‘I’m better at what I do, because I’m gay.’” Why yes, Rep. Bachman, I am.

 I wasn’t entirely sure how one made Christopher Walken stranger. He already seems like a brilliant stranger man. It turns out that if you let The New Yorker interview Christopher Walken, he becomes progressively stranger.

This story stinks like week-old sauerkraut, but supposedly a Croatian girl with only rudimentary German speaking skills entered a 24-hour coma and awoke unable to speak Croatian, but was fluent in German.

I’m heartbroken to discover that the Internet has been allowed to taste the KFC Double Down, and pronounced it awful. I’m not talking snobby food critics from the New York Times

Buried deep in the list of spoilers on E! is the news that Cameron on Modern Family does a turn as a rock star drummer for Dylan’s band. He also gets a job – in a greeting card store, which sounds perfect.

Good news! Neil Patrick Harris will get another paycheck. Sources say a sequel to Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs is underway. NPH stole the show voicing Steve the Monkey. And you know how I feel about monkeys!

No word on a network, but the Razzie Awards are looking to be televised next year. It sounds like a great idea until you realize most stars don’t show up for the “honor” so it could be kind of boring. Sandra Bullock showed huge class when she picked hers up.

Republican filibusters are becoming so common, voting to bust them to accomplish Senate business is now producing stats like “batting average.” 

Universal Pictures has forked over $65 million to let Seth MacFarlane make a R-Rated comedy about a man and his teddy bear. It will be appropriately named Ted.

This list of the World’s 10 Oldest Living Trees is humbling, with some of the shade givers spanning four thousand years or more.

O.K., Mr. Hardwick, you know I think you're sexy as heck, and funny, and gracious. But my love of Muppets predates you by a few decades, and you carrying around Animal's head is just wrong.

OK, I know it's a backpack, but still!

If you ever visited the AfterElton.com offices...

Even if we think this is what we're producing.

This cat terrifies me even more than a normal cat.

I'm assuming this cat stole all the fur.

And to wipe the images from our mind, we finish with a chimp.

Within an hour of TBS announcing they had signed Conan O'Brien for a late night talk show, they had a video promo for the show (due November) out. The trick is that Conan is prohibited by his exit contract from appearing on television until June. So we got this:

Everyone and their brother seems excited about this Bansky movie, Exit Through the Gift Shop. I just don't get it - I'm not cool enough. Which is fine, because I'm not cool enough for Banksy, either.

MTV caught up with Glee's Mark Salling at The Grove where they screened the first episode, and got him to spill about some upcoming Puck songs. He admits to channeling the Rat Pack, but not who he's singing.

I'm completely unfamiliar with Cemetary Junction, which has Ricky Gervais behind it, and major names like Ralph Fiennes and Matthew Goode attached, and a certain flashback quality.

This Dr. Pepper commercial caught me off guard, I'm not sure what I was expecting, but this wasn't it.