Morning Meme: Dorothy Hamill Would Be a Gay Man, Sid & Marty Krofft Return, Sarah Palin Is Rich.

Plus, Jake Gyllenhaal shirtless, The Simpsons bait South Park, Jason Stackhouse gets busy, and Conan's new bear.

I have to thank snicks for this weird intersection of realities. According to Fox411.com, Dorothy Hamill says that if she hadn’t been born a woman, she would have been a gay man, because she loves “sparkles and ruffles and color.” snicks also has a great joke I won't steal so he can make it in the comments, unless one of you wants to try and rob him.

I’m just going to wonder what the folks at Tazer International were thinking when they decided to get sheep hopped up on meth and taze them. Isn’t this animal cruelty, since meth hypes the tactile system? And why sheep? And I know the primary effects of meth on the body, and what it makes you want, and you involved sheep? Really?

As long as we’re flying high here, we may as well mention the acid trip that will be required when Sid and Marty Krofft sit down to animate leftover cartoon heroes that Jack Kirby created, but never got around to using.

Reader Androjai pointed out in the comments that I’d missed the list of 15 Nerdy Characters Who Could easily Destroy You and Who Also Happen To Be Gay. I anticipate a lot of friction issues with Colossus, but I’m perfectly willing to risk an encounter with Sam Adama.

In one of the nastiest local elections in memory, Gainesville, FL has elected an openly gay mayor. You’ve got to be familiar with the difference between South Florida and northern Florida to understand the significance, but this is HUGE. Note: AE reader Thomasina brought it to my attention there will be a recount due to the close vote. Fingers crossed!

I love old politicians. Mike Huckabee is saying his comments about gays and puppies were taken out of context. Except there’s audio.

Christian music performer Jennifer Knapp has come out as lesbian. I don’t know anything about Christian music, but I’d think that was significant.

I’m surprised nudie magazines for the blind didn’t exist before now.

Current estimates say that Sarah Palin has earned $12 million since she quit halfway through her term as governor of Alaska.

Here’s a (hopefully) fictional list of reality shows starring Sarah Palin that kind of scare me, including The Real Housewives of Wasilla. Somebody please take away Andy Cohen’s Blackberry before he greenlights that.

A new study says that the monetary value of a “fan” on a social networking site is $3.60/year. Some of you owe me some money, so pay up! Who am I kidding – you’re all priceless!

African men are being trafficked into Scotland to be used as gay sex slaves. This is not a joke.

Conan O’Brien’s live show has added “the self-pleasuring panda” as a replacement for his previous creation "the masturbating bear." This is in response to NBC claiming ownership of everything he’s ever thought of. How’s that working out for you, NBCSucks?

Diane Keaton is in talks to join HBO’s series Tilda about a feared and powerful Hollywood blogger that everyone in the industry knows is modeled on Nikki Finke, but pretends not to, since Nikki Finke is feared and powerful.

Fresh from remaking the classic British comedy Death At a Funeral, Chris Rock has decided he’s worthy to rewrite David Mamet.

The Simpsons manage a backhanded compliment to Trey Parker and Matt Stone of South Park for tonight's 200th episode.

Mocking South Park isn't usually wise.

I'm not sure if this is a cat post, or an optical illusion.

I always love the science fiction movies where they feed the robot a logical paradox and watch it explode. Now I think we have the origin for that plot.

Disney will not be happy.

Pigs in spaaaaaaaace!

I'm not sure what's going on here. I'm not even sure of the species.

I love parkour. I also love Jake Gyllenhaal. Yet you put them together and it's somehow a letdown. On the other hand, Jake did all of his sword fighting practice in this Prince of Persia featurette shirtless, so there's that.

I completely missed Monday's True Blood: Waiting Sucks, and that's really a "bad Ed" moment, because it's Jason Stackhouse gettin' busy out in the woods. Please accept my apologies.

I stumbled across the trailer for the web series Stunted because Zachary Quinto is working on a different project with these guys. Depending on how much they can put into this, they could make stunt men funny.

In case you missed it, we have the trailer for Stonewall Uprising, which tells the story of the police raid on the Stonewall Inn June 1969.