Morning Meme: We're "Drawn Together," the Phillie Phanatic, "Ugly Betty" Tributes, Meet Chris Evan's Love Interest, and more!

Plus, evil clowns, Adam Lambert's day job is enough, Larry King's eighth divorce, and Glee's surprising friendship.

Parts of this Meme are super-sized, because I have to skip the Afternoon Meme today for a personal appearance in the real world. Make it last, people.

Dear Miss Ann Powers: Your idea of making Adam Lambert the replacement for Simon Cowell at the judging table has called your entire journalism career into question. I love me some Adam, but that’s just ridiculous.

You can buy a personal, luxury submarine, complete with bathroom and staircase. It will only run you $2.7 million for something you probably use once.

The English are a strange people. They hire evil clowns to stalk their children for a week leading up to their birthday, watching from the edges of sight. The goal of the clown is to terrify the kid and smash a cake into their face at some point during the week. If they fail, the kid receives the cake to eat.

boyculture alerts us to a very sympathetic profile of murder music king (and accused cocaine smuggler) Buju Banton. Vibe seems to think we take his quotes about murdering gays too personally and we should lighten up. In other news, the judge postponed Buju’s trial from Monday until June with no explanation. I hope he doesn’t take it personally.

Earloomz has put Lady Gaga’s name and likeness on their new Bluetooth headset. It turns out that Lady Gaga cannot make anything cool by association.

Marvel has confirmed that Brit actress Haley Atwell with play Peggy Carter opposite Chris Evans’ Captain America. I’ve never seen anything that Haley starred in, but she’s got some great credits like Brideshead Revisted and the upcoming Pillars of the Earth miniseries.

The group trying to raise money to buy the land surrounding the Hollywood sign has come up $1 million short to buy the land and turn it into a park. I find it really pathetic that a town full of billionaires can’t come up with $12 million to save the symbol of what made them billionaires. Property owners gave them an additional 16 days.

I’m willing to bet a guy is behind Perky Jerky, which is beef jerky infused with guarana so that you get a hit of caffeine with your dried meat.

Tanner Stransky’s piece on Ugly Betty and why it mattered can bring a tear to your eye. It wasn’t just Justin Suarez that was helped out of the closet by the show. Well said Tanner, well said.

Shannen Doherty is releasing a book called Badass: A Hard-Earned Guide to Living Life with Style and (the Right) Attitude

South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker have teamed up with Avenue Q’s Robert Lopez to create a musical comedy called The Book of Mormon, set to open on Broadway in March. I’d like to take this opportunity to call “dibs” on any chance to go to New York City and review this on behalf of AfterElton.com.

Larry King is calling an end to his eighth marriage. And I’m not even allowed one.

Remember me mentioning the Vatican forgiving the Beatles for being satanic forty years ago? Ringo Starr doesn’t care. He says “Vatican has more to talk about than the Beatles.” Well put.

Action movie producer Michael Bay is teaming up with reality show kings Magical Elves (Top Chef) to create an “action adventure reality show” that’s a mix of Survivor, The Mole and The Amazing Race. Since it’s Michael Bay, there’s probably some high explosives mixed up in there somewhere.

Spurf™ says that Glee is plotting a major arc for Terri and Finn. Don’t worry, they’re not going all cougar on you, they’re using it to redeem Terri, who really doesn’t have a story at this point and if she vanished, no one would notice.

Discovery Channel insiders are saying that the Sarah Palin reality show is a new low for the network. They showed the concept to advertisers this week, and no one cared. Meanwhile, Sarah Palin is cashing her $2 million check. 

Remember that $50 light bulb I mocked the other day? It’s nothing compared to this four-LED, remote controlled bulb that you can adjust to any of over 16 million colors. It will set you back $200.

Since the Mayans have us all scared with their calendar that runs out in 2012, The Long Now Foundation has their 10,000 year clock up and running, and even has instructions on how you can build your own, assuming you have a cool dry cave and tons of money.

Don't judge me.

How do you know you're getting old? When I saw this picture, my immediate thoughts were countless quarters dropped into the Joust machine at the roller rink. The 24-year-old that posted it titled it "Ostrich Knight"

Darn kids. Get off my lawn!

Baseball season has started. This is the Phillie Phanatic.

This is the Phillie Phanatic dressed as Lady Gaga.

True Blood also released another poster this week.

And now for something completely different.

This could have been me playing football.

The Library of Congress is taking possession of all tweets in the public timeline, ever. This was announced via Twitter, naturally. Does this mean I can say I have over 25,000 pieces housed in the collection at the Library of Congress?

Who needs a press release?

Mario is having a bad day.

Another great McDonald's ad.

I've been watching a lot of Bewitched on TV Land.

Meer-cat

This ad is part of a Japanese Nike campaign called "I Love Dust" but I have no idea what they're selling. It may be shoes. It may be an anime series. It could even be giant robots.

Meet Crazy Barking Dog Man.

We know there are no redeeming qualities to Drawn Together: The Movie which is being released next week on DVD. But it makes me laugh. I'd love to post the trailer from the Comedy Central website but the language is too dirty for us. But they beeped out the worst of it from the profile of our favorite gay character, Xandir P. Whifflebottom. I do want to remind you even with some beeping, this is still very NSFW.