Morning Meme: McSteamy Condenses, Ron Burgundy Stayed Classy, Kanye Animated, and Katie Holmes as Jackie-O

Plus, United States of Tara engineers a breakup, Colbert travels by palanquin, CBS needs to pay Pauley Perrette, and guess which governor jogs with a laser-sighted Ruger?

Ron Burgundy has stayed classy all these years, just waiting for someone to decide to give him a sequel. Now that day has come, as Anchorman 2 is set to shoot next year. Even the stars admit it can’t be as good (ha!) as the first one, so they’re just going to go for outlandish.

McDreamy/McSteamy/McNugget or whoever it is that Patrick Dempsey plays on Grey’s Anatomy wants out once his contract ends in a year. I guess the show just isn’t paying enough to cover his hair product anymore.

Two little nuggets from the Spurf™ are that Tina was supposed to have an “Erotica/Justify My Love” number on Glee’s Madonna episode, but it got cut for time. Also, he says that Lafayette’s boyfriend on True Blood won’t just be a nurse; he’ll be supernatural in some way. Which to me isn’t a scoop so much as a “Duh,!” since two humans as a couple would be way too dull.

Both snicks and xanthis2001 brought this alternet.org piece to my attention about a straight journalist undercover in the Christian gay-to-straight conversion industry. It’s a long read, but well worth the time.

Fox is going to remake the Schwarzenegger classic Commando. Same premise, same creative team. Likely less roidy-looking star.

Sam Rockwell and Justin Long are going make a Batman & Robin-themed “Robin’s Big Speed Date” short as a part of the Untitled Comedy that also includes Hugh Jackman playing a man whose testicles dangle from his chin. The number of ridiculous shorts in this thing and the big name stars attached make me think they’re punking us.

ABC has ordered a game show called The Six that isn’t based around having encyclopedic knowledge of 14^th century cowbells, but instead on logical reasoning. There’s not any mention of being suspended by your genitalia over molten lava while you’re doing logical reasoning, but I think it’s implied if they want American audiences to watch.

Crawfish Po Boy sent me a link to this Huffington Post story from February, with character actor David Pevsner imploring a leading man to come out, be proud, and blaze a trail. I don’t know how we missed this, but it’s largely brilliant.

Oh, Texas. This pretty much explains it all for you guys, doesn’t it?

NCIS is the most successful show on television I can’t be bothered to watch until reruns hit TNT, then I love a marathon. But despite being a  huge hit, CBS is playing hardball on the contracts for all the originals except Mark Harmon, including friend-of-the-gays and all around cool chick Pauley Perrette.

Arizona Iced Tea would like to remind you that it is in no way affiliated with Arizona.

The History Channel is prepping a miniseries based on The Kennedy Family, and have done what feels like stunt casting. Greg Kinnear as JFK, and Katie Holmes stretching her acting chops as Jackie?

Remember how proud the United States was that we lifted the ban on HIV positive travelers? And it only took us a year or so to do it after we announced it? China has followed suit. Took them an hour.

Yesterday the Supreme Court of the United States heard arguments about whether people who sign anti-gay (or any kind) or ballot measure can have an expectation of having their names kept secret. They fear our violent roving gangs, evidently. It sounds like it went well for transparency.

I’ve always wondered why when we die, we have to get stuffed into a shiny box and put in a crypt. It just seems kind of bland. And in Puerto Rico, other people seem to share my feeling. David Morales Colón was shot, and now he’s essentially become a taxidermy project and sits perched on his prize motorcycle.

The woman who beat Sarah Palin in the Miss Alaska pageant in 1984 has been inspired to politics in her current home of Georgia. Marilyn Blackburn is running as a Democrat in the House of Representatives race trying to unseat the incumbent Republican. I’m betting if elected, she’ll even finish her term.

Mattel has licensed the Magic 8 Ball to Paramount to make a movie. If you need me, I’ll be at the library.

I don't think I paid any attention to Admiral Ackbar when he first appeared in Return of the Jedi – he was just an unfortunately animated character who meets a bad end. But I'm loving all the puns that can be done around his one famous line...

I'm guessing this Starbucks is near an art school.

Even though the UK has been letting openly gay soldiers serve for years, that doesn't mean that we can't learn from their dark past as well their bright future.

What if they'd discharged him before he cracked the code?

This graphic was originally much longer - I cut it down from what was an art project for someone who doesn't have to work for a living. Obviously Gummi Bears have a better health plan than I do.

Were the pairings picked for color or taste combos?

I guess this is the literal representation of a fat cat, or it could just be the house cat for the president of Goldman Sachs.

I can haz?

Here's your daily dose of cute. Don't you feel better?

Don't Ask, Don't Tell isn't the only military policy travesty the GLBT should be fighting to overturn. We should also probably be fighting No Strings Attached, which prohibits puppets from openly serving.

I don't know that I'm enchanted by the fact that New York City has a $35k/night hotel room, or horrified that it stays booked 70% of the time – even in slow months during the worst recession 70 years.

The only reason I watch The Cleveland Show is because it comes on between The Simpsons and Family Guy. But if there's more to this Kanye West appearance than this, I may actually enjoy it. I think Kanye may have learned how to laugh at himself, just a little.

Splice seems like a movie that got made just so they can have a naked humanoid rape and pillage her way through nerded-up leading men in an instinctual quest to breed. It doesn't look like it has much of an actual plot.

And I'm behind on the DVR, so I didn't realize that Marshall still hasn't broken up with Courtney. So he enlists some help from the local Velvet Mafia to help him out. The worst part is that they bleeped out whatever it was that Lionel said, and it was likely the best line of the scene:

On Tuesday night, Stephen Colbert did a report on Tazers. It was funny, but I truly don't understand.what happens at the five minute mark. I love it, I just don't understand it.

And once again, your Morning Meme has been brought to you by the music of Jamie Cullum and the world's only synchronized unicycle music video you're likely to watch this morning with your coffee.