Morning Meme: Pick Your Bad "SatC2" Review, "Skins" Goes Bigscreen, and Guess Who Won't Do "Playgirl?"

Plus Next Magazine gets Broadway Bares hunks in swim wear, say goodbye to SoapNet, and the latest Don't Ask Don't Tell news is from West Virginia?

Want to know how to make MTV’s version of Skins completely irrelevant? Make a movie with members from seasons 1-4 of the British cast. It’s in the works for a 2011 release, and I’m demanding they make it a hard R in the U.S. or what’s the point? There are a few parts of Mitch Hewer’s body I haven’t seen yet.

I’m having trouble deciding: Which Sex and the City 2 review is more scathing, Roger Ebert with his “As we return to the trivialities of their lives for a sequel, marriage is the issue. The institution is affirmed in an opening sequence at a gay wedding in Connecticut that looks like a Fred Astaire production number gone horribly over budget. “

Or the one from The Stranger with “It is 146 minutes long, which means that I entered the theater in the bloom of youth and emerged with a family of field mice living in my long, white mustache. This is an entirely inappropriate length for what is essentially a home video of gay men playing with giant Barbie dolls.”

Further evidence that soap operas are a dying artform – SoapNet is becoming Disney Junior in 2012. Gone are One Life to Live and All My Children reruns in favor or Handy Manny and Special Agent Oso. Disney plans to get “educational programming” credit for this.

In what may the biggest endorsement of Lady Gaga ever, Semi Precious Weapons’ Justin Tranter has nothing but good things to say about the artist who used to open for his band, and now they open for her.

True Blood’s Ryan Kwanten broke my heart (well, maybe not my heart) when he told E! that he’d say no if Playgirl called him. He did nominate Stephen Moyer and Alexander Skarsgard to do a tandem shoot though. I can live with it.

There might be some NSFW True Blood screen caps on the web that hint at great things to come.

The Republicans need ideas if they’re going to win the November election. So they put up a website to solicit input from the public. They were obviously unfamiliar with anonymous internet commenters.

There’s a Facebook campaign to draft pro-choice/pro-marriage equality Laura Bush for Dallas Pride. If not, they can always get a drag queen instead.

The Logan’s Run remake has a director in Erik Rinsch. Now if it only had a potential audience.

Art Linkletter, host of Kids Say the Darndest Things, has passed away at age 97. I used to watch reruns of his various shows with my grandmother, and she loved the man.

The FDA is about to approve a failed antidepressant unfortunately named flibanserin as a female form of Viagra. This ensures that adult children will never visit their parent’s homes again.

The folks at Comedy Central have turned your favorite news headlines into postcards. Obviously my favorite is Texas, and the bonus is that with their new educational curriculum, they won’t even be able to read to know they’re being mocked.

HBO’s half hour comedy Tilda, about a ruthless female entertainment blogger that everyone knows is based on Nikki Finke but most are afraid to say directly, has a cast. Tilda/Nikki is going to be played by Diane Keaton, and the young innocent that’s always cast opposite any strong woman will be played by Ellen Page.

My 9,000-year-old home state Senator Byrd says he’ll vote for Don’t Ask Don’t Tell repeal, if they add a 60-day waiting period after the study is done. Some are calling this a Congressional Review Period, but my favorite Law Dork says it’s just a Waiting Period, like when you buy a handgun. Oh – sorry! You don’t need to wait for that.

Musical Theater Southwest in Albuquerque burned to the ground, but thanks to a famous alumnus, it will find a way to live again. Neil Patrick Harris' brother, Brian (who's also hot) says his brother is working with the theater to rebuild.

Next Magazine didn't travel far to find beefcake to fill out their swimsuit spread - they enlisted the men of Broadway Bares Strip-opoly to show off the goods. Heck, it's less skin than they'll have on display at the show.

Kyle Deschamps and Adam Michael Hart for Next Magazine.

Way back when, I shared a Tumblr that designed animated album covers. In honor of all the excitement around the new Scissor Sisters album, I thought I'd share the animated version of Ta-Dah!

It's a favorite of mine.

With all the focus on the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, I hadn't been thinking about the volcano in Iceland. I have no idea if Europe can fly anywhere or not. But thanks to NASA, I do know that the ash has triggered a massive phytoplankton bloom in the North Atlantic that may end up being worse for the planet than the oil. Now if only the phytoplankton could be trained to eat the oil.

It's pretty. Probably not a good thing, but it's pretty - just like Rep. Aaron Shock.

It's unclear to me if War Pigs is a real movie. I'm fairly certain that it's a spoof, and the trailer is just cut up footage from other bad movies. The trouble is that these guys would probably make a movie like this. And someone invested some time and money into the film's website . But IMDB doesn't know anything about it, so spoof?

Crater Face is a beautiful short film that endeavors to show that love conquers all. Well, all except a lack of oxygen. 

And I'm sorry, but giving a baby Pop Rocks might not be good parenting. But what do I know? I came home from the hospital in my mom's lap in the passenger seat of a Fiat Spyder before people cared about things like car seats or seat belts.

As a bonus, we have a sneak peek of Kylie Minogue's new video "All The Lovers" which is full of good-looking people ripping their clothes off and making out. Boy/girl, boy/boy, girl/girl, it's got it all. She always did give great video.