Info Meme

Leading the news in decisions made in Hollywood that should never have been considered, much less funded, we find out that Columbia Pictures is going to let Phil Lord and Chris Miller direct the big screen adaptaion of the 1980s hit 21 Jump Street that launched Johnny Depp's career and causes Richard Greico to throw a bottle at the television whenever it's mentioned. Don't get me wrong, I watched 21 Jump Street. I also liked Lord and Miller's last project, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. I just don't think any of those things go together in 2012, which is when they're releasing it. Fantasy casting - go!

I live in a moderately small town in West Virginia, so whenever I get to mock another place, it's like Christmas and my birthday rolled into one. Today, we have Laredo, Texas, which has achieved the dubious distinction of being the largest city in the United States without a bookstore. For now, you'll have to order your Sarah Palin autobiographies online, or drive 150 miles to San Antonio!

I know that laughing at this is just going to result in me falling while getting out of bed or something, but uber-hottie Ryan Phillipe has broken his foot while running. On a treadmill. Barefoot. And he's evidently admitted this, so doesn't that give us all free reign to laugh a little? I mean, I would have lied or something - chasing a coyote away from a baby koala bear or something.

It's been a couple weeks since I had a weird story about a cow. So from England, we have the story of the jumping cow. He didn't go nuts and jump over the moon or anything, but evidently about six feet up onto the roof of a house. Rumor has it he was just trying to audition as a fill-in for Blitzen pulling Santa's sleigh. Blitzen's been living up to his name, and is spending Christmas with Dr. Drew.

In other bizarre livestock news, it's not just swine flu and bird flu that are out to get us, now evidently it's goat flu. Authorities in the Netherlands are slaughtering 34,000 pregnant goats to contain an outbreak of the Q fever caused by a vaccine shortage.

Dangerous Muse, the twinkish darlings of the scene a couple years back, have released a new video for the first single from their upcoming album, which has been years in the making. It's actually...pretty good. I can't precisely classify the genre, but it's catchy, and like all Dangerous Muse projects, it brings the sexy.

Rage Against the Machine were the beneficiaries of a a Facebook campaign in the U.K. to keep X-Factor winner from having the #1 song this week like they always do. People were asked to buy an old song of theirs instead, so Simon Cowell wouldn't win. And Simon didn't, because Rage Against the Machine won by about 50,000 copies. So Simon is cowed but rich, Rage is in the news again without producing new music, and that poor little boy who won X-Factor is disillusioned by the world? Mission Accomplished?

China finally opened that state owned gay bar. Supposedly to fight AIDS. I've been to a lot of different themed bars in my life, but never one dedicated to me avoiding STDs. Oh, wait - I've been to a straight bar before, never mind! 

White Collar on USA Network, starring Matthew Bomer, was just renewed for a second seasonn. No word on what kind of scams they'll try and pull for the sophomore turn.

The Paley Center for Media has been getting more and more central to Hollywood and television in particular the last few years. Now comes the rumor, fresh on the heels of announcing plans to honor Glee and The Vampire Diaries, that they may be looking to usurp the Emmy Awards.

You know the classic mommy-books What to Expect when You're Expecting? Well, there's now an extension, that tells you what to expect from your 30-something, including whether they should be able to make a martini, but you should be aware that the gin version is considered an advanced skill.

Mexico City became the first Latin American locale to legalize same sex marriage in a 39-20 vote yesterday that happened much faster than activists had expected. At this point I'm pretty much ashamed of where I live.

But maybe we'll get marriage equality when pigs fly? If so I'm totally ordering this elastic, flying pig so we can get equal rights and I can move on to employment protections? Moving up the cost scale we have  the Air Board from Opulent Items for $14,000. Still, it's a hover car, sort of. And it's in stock, so no excuses. But is you really loved me, you'd get me this Aston Martin Black Carbon Edition. I have no idea what it costs, but I'm totally worth it.

Finally, we called and got the statement from rapper Asher Roth's management on Sunday when the rumor's started flying about him being the unnamed rapper in Terrance's book. Today, we get a comment from the man himself, Asher Roth:

I hate to disappoint and take away the entertainment of it all but I am straight, not gay.  It's disheartening to know such "news" on someone's personal life can be portrayed as fact with no viable source.  This, to me, is an opportunity to expose our vulnerability to lies and manipulation through unprofessional and irresponsible news outlets, in which people consider TRUTH.  Further, someone's sexual orientation should NEVER be big news, as it delivers a troubling message to children that they can't be themselves without fear of judgment.  Race, creed, and sexual persuasion should not just be tolerated but understood and accepted.  It's extremely disappointing that this topic would be used with the intention of being hurtful. We are near 2010....2010!! Yet race, sex and religion still play a major role in a hate driven society.  For the love of the future and humanity....let's wake up. 

Photo Meme

I'm unfamiliar with the art in Bento Boxes, but evidently it's a thing. Via BoingBoing, we have this Care Bears structure made with rice and hot dogs. Part of a book by Christopher Salyers called Face Food Recipes. I tend to agree with the commenters though - the little kid that shreds a Care Bear and devours it at lunch may need some serious therapy.

I wonder if they have a My Little Pony version?

I don't know where these are, and I'm unsure how I feel about using them, either. While I'm all for taking ugly, utilitarian items and giving them unexpected style, this speaks to certain...concepts that I'm not sure belong in a public restroom. Unless that's what you're into.

Lips I've aimed my own member at generally weren't wearing lipstick 

Via Habitat we get this artist rendering of Bay South project getting underway in Singapore, where these artificial 150-foot trees will provide vertical gardens to root the plants, collect water and sunlight, and light the park at night. Lots more pictures here.

Some said Pandora, like from Avatar. Only if there are hot blue guys.

From Apartment Therapy we discover that since Manhattan is completely out of space to store hipsters and hipster wannabes, so they've taken to building actual houses on top of their buildings. Actually they all look pretty cool, and very isolated, so which one is mine?

This prefab unit has a great view.

The perfect Christmas tree - made of 1,000 full Heineken bottles. This is currently Shanghai, China, but I can't imagine why they used full bottles, or how they keep the full bottles from disappearing.

This is one way to keep the Yuletide gay (I mean happy this time!)

Some guy named Ron Patrick has strapped a jet engine onto his Volkswagon Beetle, and he swears it's street legal. He doesn't know how fast it goes. He has a lot of details. He may have a death wish.

On full afterburner.

Video Meme

From Rodrigo Blaas, who has a day job with Pixar, we have this short film about dolls who steal your soul called Alma. Frankly I found dolls creepy before this. Now I'm worried the ones wrapped as presents for my nieces under the tree might force their way out and steal my soul (if I had one) in my sleep.

Directly from Pixar, we have another trailer for Toy Story 3 that shows how the toys actually get separated as Andy prepares to go off to college. It's a lot more sitcom-like than I was expecting.

This clip explains why your contractor never finishes your home remodel project on time - he's busy perfecting his tape measure skills. And I'm not talking about "measure twice, cut once" like my grandfather always taught me.

Next, we have a news clip about an artist who has put in a lawn display that has Jesus shooting Santa dead, and has Rudolph trussed up like a prize buck on his truck. Frankly, I understand freedom of expression, but if this is his version of giving Christmas back to Christ, he's kind of missing the point of what Christ stood for. Plus, it's just a d**k move towards kids.

I am so sorry, but I'm going to share the pain on this one, and show you the teaser trailer for the upcoming Marmaduke movie. Yes, from the comic strip that's not funny in that newspaper you don't subscribe to any more.

I am so, so very disappointed in Bette Midler right now. Playing gay bath houses was more dignified that being a voice actor in Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore. To top it off, she's playing Kitty Galore. Go back to your roots, Bette, we still love you. This is beneath you.

And because I'm snowed in still and grouchy, why not trick you into watching this trailer for The Bounty Hunter starring Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler? It can be quite fun. Gerard has at least 3 distinctly different accents in the trailer alone, and if you stick it out until the end, he wanders around in nothing but a towel.

Esquire Magazine has always been willing to toy around with their format. They did an e-ink cover a couple years back, an oddly perforated set of covers last year, then the rather silly "augmented reality" edition in December. Now they may have something. They've got an engine that let's them reformat the whole magazine for the iPhone, and supposedly makes it readable. The iPhone edition will debut for January, and got for $2.99 an issue. 

Finally, I've not felt the need to mock MTV's Jersey Shore because frankly, it mocks itself quite well enough. Still, Funny or Die chose to weigh in by giving Alyssa Milano a Jersey Shore makeover. It's actually kind of scary. Does James Cameron know about this technology? He could've saved a fortune on Avatar.