Get Smithers Laid! New Competition for AfterElton Readers

The show has always had gay representation.

The Simpsons has been creating a memorable supporting cast for more than 20 years. We’ve seen characters come for a visit, like Grady (Scott Thompson), and we’ve seen them come and go and come back, like Sideshow Bob (Kelsey Grammer).

Grady and Julio were once Homer's roommates.

Some, like Grady, have been gay, and others like Sideshow Bob have been (inexplicably) straight. On the whole, the show’s been pretty good for gay representation over the years.

Marge’s sister, Patty Bouvier is a lesbian. She’s dated different men on the show before coming out, including Principal Skinner, while also flirting with Edna Krabappel. She had an affair with a female professional golfer. Well, she thought the golfer was female, even if it turned out differently in the end.

Patty had what she thought was a lesbian relationship with Veronica.

But she’s out and proud since the 16^th season. And she’s had a decent dance card for someone who “chose a life of celibacy.”

But you know who has yet to get laid? Who we haven’t seen have a single date? Animation’s first glass-closet celebrity, Waylon Smithers. Sure, he’s had his sexuality described as Burns-sexual more than homosexual, but come on – we know a coded gay when we see one!

Burns-sexual is hardly an orientation.

To quote Troy McClure, “the real deal with Waylon Smithers is that he's Mr. Burns' assistant. He's in his early forties, is unmarried, and currently resides in Springfield. Thanks for asking!"

Hell, if this were a Disney movie, a line of dialog like that would have already prompted GLAAD to offer a Visibility Award. And that's before we bring up Smithers' being president of the Malibu Stacy Fan Club.

In honor of 20 years of The Simpsons, Fox is running a contest to create a new character. We want to do something similar — but different.

Their contest is to create a new character for Springfield. They want a catchphrase, a description, and a name, and they’ll have a professional artist bring the character to life.

Here at AfterElton, we…don’t have that kind of money. Or talent – you’ve seen my Photoshop work in the blog before. So we’ll swap the catchphrase out for a sketch. Nothing fancy, mind you: yellow skin, four fingers, Springfield-style biped works. The description is the important part. You see, he’s got to be a love match for poor Smithers. Twenty years is long enough to be pining after Montgomery Burns.

This is Smither's only kiss in 20 years.

That’s right. We want you to create the perfect boyfriend. You know you’ve always wanted to. And now you can.

We’ll be accepting entries via email at afterelton.contests@gmail.com. Be sure to include your username with the character descriptions. And it needs to be in by midnight, November 15, 2009.

We can’t spring for a flight to Los Angeles, but we can give you everlasting glory in our gay world, which is better anyway. So get to work.