Here’s a run down of British soap goings on that have pinged our gaydar in the UK for the week ending December 2…

Coronation Street, ITV1

Sulky Sean wasn’t quite so sulky this week. In fact, he was pretty much back to his normal, chipper, annoying self. In our book, annoying and chipper beats sulky any day of the week.

And it seems being reconciled with best bud Violet is bringing out the best in him. With Violet and Jamie hoping to move into a flat together, Sean decided to make Christmas come that little bit early for the lovebirds by offering to stump up the five hundred big ones they need for their deposit. But unfortunately, in typical macho blokey fashion, Jamie rejected Sean’s kind offer. Hmm what's that saying about pride cometh before a fall?

However, not being one to look a gift horse in the mouth, sneaky Violet proved that women are indeed the smarter (some might prefer sneaky!) sex and decided to accept Sean’s help and his cash, whilst keeping it a secret from boyfriend Jamie.

Elsewhere, lovely Liam was well and truly gobbed and smacked this week. But then Maria’s bombshell revelation that she’s pregnant would be enough to shock anyone. Of course, being the lovely bloke that he is, our Liam promised to do the right thing by her and the baby. However, Marie seemed to sense that he wasn’t all that keen and decided to have an abortion. But neither of the pair seem happy about that decision, either. Please, will somebody do us all a favour and knock their heads together!

Meanwhile, Jim McDonald was released from prison; Violet’s extremely irritating little sis Lauren decided to visit; and devious Rosie blackmailed creepy John in to giving her good grades, otherwise she’d blab about their affair. Well, that’s certainly one way of getting an ‘A’!

Eastenders, BBC1

Carly, Kevin and Shirl visited a bruised and battered Deano in prison this week. The promise of a round-the-world trip would be enough to bolster anyone’s spirits. Providing they were able to stay alive long enough, obviously.

If you ask us, Strictly Come Dancing is the best thing that’s ever happened to sexy Matt Di Angelo. The boy is oozing charisma and sexy appeal – even if h does look like he's gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson! Pity he won’t be gracing our screens for much longer, having been given the boot from the soap.

Meanwhile, his screen dad Kevin finally discovered that the cars he’s been flogging for Phil were stolen and, along with partner-in-crime Darren, was forced to re-nicked and torch one of his stolen cars after selling it to a copper. Poor old Kev, he's not exactly the brightest of sparks.

Elsewhere, the hottest club in the East End, Ronnie and Roxy’s R&R (seriously, how long did it take ‘em to come up with that ingenious name?!) opened.

Emmerdale, ITV1

Reconsiled with his wife Perdy after his recent drunken s-e-x with Paul, ghastly Grayson got some good news this week. He’s going to be a dad!

Yes, Katie is pregnant. Which sort of put a spanner in the works big time for ex-lovers Matthew and Perdy’s fledgling romance. Alas Perdy decided that she couldn’t risk losing custody of the baby and so told Matthew she would have to stay with Grayson. But Matthew decided to wait for her and promised to love the baby as his own. Oh, ain’t love grand!

Hollyoaks, C4

It was another rollercoaster of a week in the not-so-sleepy Chester suburb.

Mercedes was forced to reveal her big news, after the discovery of a pregnancy test. Seriously, why not make a better job of disposing of the evidence?! It's not that hard!

With Tony bricking it that his infidelity was about to be discovered, Mercedes lied about the father’s identity. Obviously painting yourself as a tart is preferential to Jacqui ever finding out that said child is Tony’s.

But Jacqui was actually overjoyed at the news, and announced that Mercedes' pregnancy was the answer to all her baby problems. Oh, if only she knew the whole story!

Initially not convinced by the idea, Tony eventually came round. Well, would you like to say no to Jacqui McQueen? Exactly! Pity the same could not be said for Mercy, who decided to pop along to the local abortion clinic instead.

So it was left to little sister Tina to try and help a distraught and desperate Jacqui, by offering to act as surrogate for Tony and Jacqui. But in another cruel twist of fate, selfish hubby Dom put his not-so-manly foot down and told Tina to retract her offer.

Speaking of Dom and Tina, Pervy Pete was still being a jerk and sexually harrassing Tina at work. And Dom was still being totally clueless. Thankfully Jacqui decided to bring him up to speed. Although after Dom confronted Pete, he ended up falling for his charms – er, sorry, charm.

Elsewhere in studentville, Kris put two and two together and discoverd that Darren had managed to have his wicked way with Jess. Sadly, Zoe found out the truth in the most horrendous way – along with seemingly half of Chester – after Kris, the total muppet, inadvertently broadcast his heated argument with Jess on his radio show. And there were we thinking no one in Chester ever listened to his show!

Here’s a preview of next week’s action, which includes the introduction of a new character, hairdresser Niall. Personally, anyone who can floor Warren Fox so effortlessly seems more than okay in our book…

And for Hollyoak’s fans still desperate to keep the McDean dream alive, here’s an excellent fan made video to brighten up your day, set to the music of a certain Mr. Barrowman…

And so, that concludes this little recap of all things gay-ish related in British soaps. Tune in next time, to find out how Niall is settling in, whether Paul and Jonny are still on speaking terms, and which lucky so-and-so gets engaged in the Street…