Here’s a run down of British soap goings on that have pinged our gaydar in the UK for the week ending November 4….


Coronation Street, ITV1

Todd didn't have much to do this week, apart from look cute in his suit. Yes, it was that wedding in Weatherfield. The moment when Sarah Platt finally got her claws into Todd's brother, Jason.

All in all, it was a bad, bad week in the Platt household. After learning that his dear old daddy (the long lost Martin) wouldn’t be attending Sarah and Jason’s wedding, David the Devil lost it. Big time. And by big time, we mean writing a suicide note and driving his car into the canal!

Of course, selfish Sarah refused to let David spoil her big day. In fact, she wouldn’t let World War III or an alien invasion stop her from marrying Jason. Her brother’s suicide note might as well have been a shopping list, for all she seemed to care.

With said note binned, Sarah remained tight lipped and Weatherfield’s wedding of the year went ahead as planned. Todd, Sean and Marcus proved once again that gay men really do have the best fashion sense. Yes, they all looked gorgeous and dapper in their wedding suits.

Unfortunately for Sarah, David still managed to get his wicked way and ruin her big day. She may have tied the knot with her beau, but the day was a total disaster. Well, no bride wants the police to unexpectedly turn up at the church when they are about to say “I do”!

The police informed Gail that David’s car had been found at the bottom of a canal. But surprise, surprise; he was missing. Although the Devil child reappeared later, looking like a drowned rat. Everyone bar Sarah was pleased to see him. OK, so Sarah may be selfish and childish but she totally sees her brother for the devious and evil brat that he is. Although how he managed to get out of that car, we’ll never know. Maybe he’s been taking lessons from illusionist David Blaine?

Elsewhere, Jamie was uncomfortable knowing the sex of Violet’s baby and clashed with Sean; illicit lovers Rosie and John almost got caught in the act by her parents, Sally and Kevin; and Liam bonded with his new puppy, which he called Ozzy. How cute!

Eastenders, BBC1

The absence of any gay characters in Eastenders is still rather worrying. But still, at least we’ve now got a hunky new bloke to drool over. And he’s a Branning, no less. Although thankfully he doesn’t look a thing like his big brother, Max.

Yes folks, The Bill’s Scott Maslen aka Phil Hunter has finally made his East End debut as copper Jack Branning. OK, so he’s basically playing Phil Hunter. But who cares! With his charming patter, dapper suits and sexy voice, he could be playing a boring traffic warden and we’d still find him interesting! Although quite what he sees in Ronnie Mitchell, we don’t know. Particularly since she managed to fleece him at poker. And we’re not talking peanuts here either. Maybe he’s a bloke that likes a challenge.

Elsewhere, it was Bradley and Stacey’s wedding day. But alas, it didn’t go off without a hitch. When do they ever? Sexy but unstable Sean finally discovered the truth about Stacey’s married lover and to say he went bonkers would be an understatement.

On the morning of the wedding, he stormed over to confront Max about the affair. But Stacey told him that the affair was over and she pleaded with her brother not to ruin her wedding. But as we all know, Sean Slater is a law unto himself.

Clearly though, Stacey was in a bit of a pickle, what with her brother knowing she had been having it away with her soon-to-be hubby’s dad. In a panic, the poor girl stalled over her vows and ran out of the church, leaving all but Sean perplexed at her bizarre actions. But thanks to some wise words from Tanya, Sean had a change of heart and decided to encourage Stacey to marry Bradley after all.

But with Lauren having video evidence of her dad and Stacey’s affair on her camcorder – which Bradley and Stacey took away with them on their honeymoon – it surely won’t be too long before Bradders discovers his new wife’s nasty little secret. We’re thinking it’s going to be Christmas day.

Emmerdale, ITV1

It’s been pretty quiet on the Paul and Jonny front in Emmerdale. No change there then! But that’s because the scriptwriters are trying to lure us all into a false sense of security about their impending nuptials. Let’s just say, all is not well in the Gay Dales and things start to kick off big time later this month. Ooh we can’t wait! On second thoughts, considering the direction the Paul/Jonny/Gray storyline is about to go in, maybe we can.

Hollyoaks, C4

There was plenty of McQueen action this week. But sadly it wasn’t of the John Paul kind. We had to make do with his sisters, instead.

It was Tony’s 30th birthday this week, and his surprise birthday party was invaded by several of his ex girlfriends. As if that wasn’t a big enough shock, one of them revealed that he had fathered her eight year old son! Talk about a real kick in the teeth for poor old Tony. Let’s face it, turning 30 is bad enough!

Although the revelation was an even bigger blow for his current girlfriend, Jacqui, what with her not being able to have children. The news went down like a lead balloon. So much so, Jacqui decided to give Tony an ultimatum. It was her or his son, Harry. Hmm an eight-year-old child or a mouthy, loud, brash McQueen? Talk about a tough choice!

Elsewhere, Jacqui's sister Tina got a new job as a careers assistant; Emo Goth Newt continued to make his presence felt in Chester; and cross-dresser Kris had his eye on new girl Summer. But she thought Kris was gay! Hmm we wonder where she got that idea from?!

And so, that concludes this little recap of all things gay-ish related in British soaps. Tune in next time, to find out how Paul and Jonny’s marriage plans are going; whether Tony chose Harry over Jacqui; and what happened when Violet and Sean came to blows over his boyfriend...