Gay British Soap Update: October 8

Here’s a run down of British soap goings on that have pinged our gaydar in the UK for the week ending October 7, 2007….

Coronation Street, ITV1

What’s blonde, brassy and has a mouth as big as Manchester’s canal?

Yes, it’s Barmy Becky!

She started out as a pretty unlikable character, but this week she more than earned her place in our hearts. Hands up who didn’t cheer when, in Hayley’s honor, Becky marched into Christian’s record shop and lumped him one?!

Seeing Becky punch Christian and call him a coward and a bully was the highlight of the week in Brit soapland. Of course, Christian’s response that he wasn’t hitting a woman was just totally typical. Okay, so he eventually admitted that he did regret his actions, (we should blooming well hope so!) but he was still adamant that he could not bring himself to reconcile with Hayley. Shame. But we have a feeling he will. After all, it's Hayley. What's not to love?

But either way, at least Christian learned a valuable lesson this week. It certainly doesn’t pay to get on the wrong side of Barmy Becky. You go, girl!

Elsewhere, Violet was ticked off when she was forced to do a double shift in the pub, thanks to slacker Sean. But working overtime was the last thing on her mind, after Jamie had to rush her to the hospital when she started feeling ill. Poor Violet was in bits, fearful that she may have had another ectopic pregnancy. A guilty Sean did eventually put in an appearance. Dog and house, springs to mind.

Eastenders, BBC1

There’s a lot still missing in Walford. Ian Beale and a decent storyline, for starters! This week, Jane got a text from her missing hubby. Apparently, he’s alive and well but just needs more time to think. As far as we’re concerned, he can take all the time in the world. Like, maybe, forever?! But alas, all is not what it seems. (When is it ever in soap?!)

The text in question may have come from Ian’s phone – but it was Sinister Steven who sent it! Things got even weirder when Sinister Steven attempted to kiss his step mum! Ooh, the plot thickens. Although secretly, we wish it wouldn’t!

Emmerdale, ITV1

Paul and Nasty Nicola had a brother and sister spat of diva proportions this week. When Paul confronted Nicola in the Woolpack toilets (of all places!) and told her to leave the village, a smug Nicola ended up taunting Paul about his former boyfriend Ivan. Remember him? The dustman? Anyway, Paul snapped and grabbed his sister's head and forced it under a running tap. Yay! Nice one, Paul! We’ve been wanting to do that for like, well, forever!

Later on in the week, Paul managed to put some of his family troubles behind him and have some fun when he tagged along on Jimmy King’s stag do. Yes, that means a strip club! If only Paul's alter ego, Thelma Louise, could have made an appearance. Now, she would have certainly livened up the party!

Elsewhere, Perdy (yes, she’s back) was stunned when hubby Grayson said he wanted to put all their troubles behind them and forge ahead with their plans to have a surrogate baby. Perdy reluctanlty agreed but she seemed very unsure. Well, who can blame her? After all, this is the man who had her locked up in a mental home, after refusing to believe it was his evil mother who was making everyone think Perdy was as mad as a bar of fruit and nut!

Hollyoaks, C4

Oh, didn’t we all just want to give John-Paul a big, big cuddle this week. The teenager was finding life increasingly difficult without Craig, displaying some classic signs of lovesickness (i.e. moping!) and having a hard time at home. Well, what with his mum Myra constantly smothering him and breathing down his neck, it’s no wonder he was feeling a tad claustrophobic!

Still, things seemed to be looking up a bit for JP, when a cute guy called Jay (hmm Jay and John-Paul?) tried to catch his eye in the SU Bar. It seems Jay is a fast mover, and not really into chit chat, because no sooner had their eyes met, Jay was asking John-Paul to take him back to his place!

Clearly, that wasn’t a good idea, because when the lustful pair made it back to John-Paul’s room (yes, there was a bit of smooching!) they had the shock of their lives. No, Craig wasn’t hiding under the bed – unfortunately! The newlywed Tina and Dom were in John-Paul’s bed for a bit of snuggletime. (Their words, not mine!) Add Myra to the mix, and tempers started to flare. Don’t worry, Craig. You may be in Ireland but Myra is more than enough to scare off any cute guy threatening your territory!

Later in the week, John-Paul decided to move out of home and into halls, after money-grabbing Jessica decided to rent out Elliot's room. But John-Paul soon realized that the grass is rarely greener on the other side, and that living away from home isn't all it's cracked up to be. Hmm what are the chances of Craig realizing that and returning to Chester, any time soon?

On a brighter note, Max and Steph started to bond over their mutual love of The Hoff; and Carmel and Mercedes got to roll around in lots of mud whilst taking part - albeit very reluctantly! - in an assault course. Darren Osborne would have been in heaven!

And so, that concludes this little recap of all things gay related in British soaps. Tune in next time, to see if Sean is still in the dog house and if the wedding in Emmerdale goes off without a hitch. Alas, it’s not Jonny and Paul’s – yet!

*****SPOILER ALERT*****

Speaking of weddings, if you're wondering whether those rumors about Todd (Bruno Langley) returning to Coronation Street for, yes, another wedding, are actually true … well, here's a little pic to whet your appetite. Hmm that certainly looks like a wedding suit, don't you think?