Gay British soaps update: September 17

Here’s a run down of British soap goings on that have pinged our gaydar in the UK for the week ending September 16, 2007….

***SPOILERS BELOW, if you haven't watched last week's episodes...***

Coronation Street, ITV1

Hayley gets a visit from the private detective, who tells her he’s managed to track down her long lost son. My, that was quick! She decides to pay him a visit - the son, not the P.I. So off she toddles to the record shop where he (his name is Christian!) works. And boy, the family resemblance is quite something – the casting department deserves a pat on the back! Rather than revealing all to her son, Hayley decides to do something completely unexpected. Yes, she’s buys a record instead!

When Hayley breaks the news to hubby Roy about her offspring, the poor man looks heartbroken. Yes, you could say he takes it badly. I guess you could call the revelation that not only was his wife not a virgin when they met, but that she also has a long lost son, something of a double whammy.

Hayley decides to pay Christian another visit but not only does she end up telling him that his father is dead (well, that’s not totally untrue!) but she pretends to be his Auntie.

Elsewhere, Sean and Marcus have a date, and it looks as though Sean may actually have found a guy with some staying power. And poor Violet is getting fed up of all the gossip surrounding her and Sean and their baby, particularly when it relates to their chosen method of insemination!

Eastenders, BBC1

Still no gay goings on or even anything remotely camp on which we can reasonably report.

The biggest question rocking Albert Square this week was...

Is Cindy Beale alive?

And the answer is...

Who cares?!

Emmerdale, ITV1

Sadly, any Paul and Jonny action continues to be thin on the ground.

However, hold on to your seats folks, as next week (well, later on this week, actually) Paul shares a rather passionate kiss...

And it’s not with Jonny!

Can't wait to see what happens there.

Hollyoaks, C4

It’s all go in Chester this week. Sarah finally spills the beans about her engagement to Craig, which results in Frankie organizing a big bash in The Dog. Craig isn’t happy about the party, and neither is John-Paul. I guess seeing the guy you love snogging his wife-to-be at their engagement party isn’t going to make you all smiley and happy, now is it. After whisking John-Paul upstairs to his bedroom, Craig complains that he’s the victim, having to lie to Sarah all the time. Nice one, Craig! He’s never going to tell Sarah the truth. So sneakily, John-Paul sends Sarah a text, asking her to come upstairs – on Craig’s phone! Yes, you’ve guessed it; Sarah finally catches the pair at it.

Craig tries to lie his way out of it. Does he really think his girlfriend is that stupid? Hmm anyway, a distraught Sarah returns to the party in a flood of tears (someone really should have told the girl that panda eyes isn’t a good look – she really needs to cut down on the make-up!) and reveals to a packed pub that Craig has been having it off with his best mate. Not even Craig can lie his way out of this one. So he decides to vent his anger out on John-Paul. Although JP did a rather naughty thing, sending that text to Sarah, hands up who didn't cheer when he confronted Craig? It was about time JP give Craig a piece of his mind. As much as we like Craig, a lying, two-timming rat he most certainly is.

After the dust has settled, and she's sorted out her make-up, Sarah realises she still wants to be with Craig. Is she for real? Anyway, she's prepared to try and forgive him. Craig on the other hand has finally decided that John-Paul is the one for him. Even though he does love Sarah, he loves John-Paul in a totally different way. A way he's no longer prepared to ignore of deny. As Craig says, it’s not about being gay, it’s about who you love. Aww, bless. It seems that maybe this pair are going to get their happy ever after ending, when Craig proves his commitment to John-Paul by asking him to leave Chester for a new life together in Dublin.

Here's Craig finally dumping, sorry, letting Sarah down gently...

And here's John-Paul and Craig confronting their families...

On a side note, we’ve totally gone off Jake for being such a jerk about his little brother’s sexuality. And we finally learn just who was responsible for pushing evil Clare off that balcony. Shock. Horror. It was… Justin!

And so, that concludes this little recap of all things gay related in British soaps. Tune in next time, to find out whether Sean and Marcus are still together; what happens when Hayley tells her son that she's actually his father; and whether John-Paul and Craig ever make it to Dublin…