"Queer Eye"'s Kyan Douglas Gives AfterElton.com an Exclusive on His Engagement - And World Peace

Queer Eye is in its final season and in today's main page article, three of its stars – Ted Allen, Jai Rodriguez and Kyan Douglas – give us an exclusive interview on how QE changed the WORLD!

After that interview, Kyan called back to talk more – and revealed news about his engagement to gay rights activist Greg Durham. “Well, I haven’t ever said anything to the press,” Kyan told AfterElton.com, “but we’ve called off the engagement. We’re no longer together.”

Kyan said that announcing the engagement a year ago was “without a doubt” a statement about gay marriage rights, adding that “Greg and I really came together, we really got to know each other at a marriage [rights] rally.”

But that initial announcement wasn’t something planned. “I was asked about it in the Philippines,” Kyan clarified. “[A reporter] said ‘Are you and Greg getting married?’ And I said, ‘Well as a matter of fact we are.’ And that got picked up over here [in the US]. Where we were at the time with it - that was just the truth.”

Speaking with Kyan, it’s clear he’s just as fierce an advocate for marriage rights as ever. And he thinks that, although society has a way to go in the equality struggles for many minorities, for him “Marriage equality is the civil rights issue of our time.” He also hopes people won’t draw larger assumptions from the end of his relationship. “It happens all the time in the world where engagements get called off. And that’s what happened.”

But what Kyan really wanted to relate in the follow-up call was a personal story involving someone else very close to him. A few years ago, someone he considers a loved one converted to an evangelical Christian denomination. Although this person seemed accepting of Kyan’s sexuality, Kyan had avoided having a direct conversation about the issue – fearing what he might hear.

Recently, Kyan finally broached the subject with his loved one. In response, this person emphasized their unconditional love for him, and said that they did not approve of the way the religious right had demonized gays. But they also said that they did, indeed, feel their faith proscribed homosexuality as a sin.

Kyan admits he was stunned, and said that he explained to this person - whom he cares deeply for - that he rejected that viewpoint. He also stated to them that both he and his homosexuality were in fact part of God’s plan, and came from a foundation of love.

What ensued was a painful discussion for both, but one where no one tried to convince the other, each merely explaining their views for better understanding – and out of a real commitment to the relationship. And Kyan said that both agreed that “the real important thing here is the love that the two of us have [for one another]."

Kyan acknowledges it’s a tough situation. And he doesn’t believe a “love the sinner, hate the sin” attitude is a benign one. But he added that the fact is “this is where the world is right now. If we don’t learn to interpersonally deal with these differences how the hell are the Palestinians and the Israelis going to figure it out. Or how are we going to figure it out in this country between the Religious Right and people who are more to the left.”

And Kyan believes the way he and his loved one have dealt with their differences can, in its own small way, set an example for our divisive time.

“Even though we had these opposing views, we can sit together, and love each other and hold hands - and it’s okay. "We stand in a place of disagreement – and simultaneously we stand in a place of deep love for one another. … And wouldn’t it be great if a starting point for all relationship in this country could be something like that. Because I think only in that space is there ever going to be a chance for dialogue.”

Read today’s interview with Kyan, Ted Allen and Jai Rodriguez about how Queer Eye changed the world here.