Big Brother Recap: Playing dumb or just dumb?

It's not often that an eviction episode of Big Brother manages to be suspenseful and last night's episode came close. Typically, you can call who's going home pretty easily, even if you don't read up on what's happening in the live feeds -- the editing makes it pretty obvious. One side is getting too good an edit, a transparent attempt to make it look like the impending evictee has a chance of staying. There were a few moments tonight where it looked like the vote could go either way, but then the houseguests would get that "I decided on my vote yesterday, fool." look and shut down. Too bad, the live eviction nights need some drama.

The main event: Kail vs Mike

At the start of the episode, Kail had spent a week groveling and being "calling out" by Dick, leaving her demeaned and spineless. Mike, meanwhile, was busy talking about integrity after working to make Dick lose the veto competition. I'm not feeling strongly for either one of them and the Conference Room Alliance has always annoyed, but I'd rather see Mike stick around. At this point, he doesn't seem likely to Drew his way into the final two and what he doesn't bring the show in terms of personality, he certainly brings in eye candy. After nominating Mike, Dick tries to play the "nothing personal" card telling him "Dude, seriously, it's just a game." Yeah, and Jen meant nothing personal in her nominations, either.

Watching the houseguests debate their vote, it comes down to a question of if Kail will be strong enough to keep playing (and, if not, would she make a useful pawn in the future) and if they dared keep around a "strong player" like Mike. I'm going to paraphrase Buffy here and say, "Raise your hand if 'huh?'" Where did the idea of Mike the strong player come from? He's displayed so little personality so far, his only chance is with a stealth victory -- you know, like Drew.

Jen is the only one to show awareness of Mike's (lack of) strength. Lying together on the hammock, she and Kail discuss the upcoming vote. Kail says her only hope is that the houseguests will feel more threatened by a strong player like Mike. Jen shows an eye for observation that no one else has managed when she notes, "Mike's not really a strong player. He doesn't talk to anyone, he's not connected to anyone but you.". We learn, though, that Jen's alliance with Kail isn't a very strong one. When Mike asks for her vote, she expresses frustration with Kail who assumed Jen would be voting her way without asking. Further annoying Jen, they slept in the HoH room together for 19 days and Jen finds out about the Conference Room Alliance until when Dick's confronting her about it, so she didn't get any benefits from the alliance, just all of the hassle.

Meanwhile, the America's Player vote comes in and Eric needs to work for Kail's eviction. Normally, I'd be disappointed that the vote picked to oust the less-likable personality, but in this case it was a choice of boring simpering and boring pretty. At least the latter has some entertainment value. Eric talks up a good game. First he brings it up to Dustin and Amber, bringing up some convincing arguments, "I don't think she's expended all her moves in the game," he warns, "I think she's got a couple more games she could make."

Eric takes the arguments to an HoH room meeting with Dick, Dustin, Amber, Jameka and Danielle. "Kail did sell out all of her people. She is a far more aggressive and active player than Mike will ever be," he argues, "Why not take out the better and more active player?" That's what I've been saying. I know the Big Brother house quickly turns into a claustrophobic hamster cage that spins your head, but it seems like ever season I tune in, I spend a good amount of time using every synonym for stupid in my head.

While Dick worries about Kail reforming the Conference Room Alliance, Dustin doesn't have much fear of Kail, saying that she's "putty" in his hands. Dick's not so sure, he brings up how actively Kail campaigned against him and warns she could do the same to anyone. For the most part, the room looks like they're considering how poorly Kail's campaign was conducted.

Finally when it comes to the vote time, Mike gives a speech -- he ends up sounding like Charlie Brown's teacher pretty quickly. Julie Chen cuts him off and makes him get to his point. He jumps to the part that goes, "I'm going to walk out of the door with absolute dignity in the hopes that I've enlightened you all and inspired you all in some way." Yeah, that's a good way to swing a few votes, talk down to them. Big Brother contestants love it when nominees think they have something to offer them. Kail, meanwhile, pretty much grovels through her speech, talking about how she "really, really appreciates their friendships."

When Julie Chen announces the evictee, I swear I could see Kail give that "I'm okay with this" accepting nod. Too bad the camera moved to Mike so quickly, I'd love to know for sure and see her reaction when she realized she wasn't voted out. Mike's exit interview is pretty quick, but Dustin has the most memorable moment in the goodbyes when he says, "You've been in the house for three weeks and I know four things about you -- you're from Wisconsin, you like planes, you're a model and you eat a lot of meat." Wait, model? I've got to do some googling. Meanwhile, Jen tells him that "It took a lot to stand up to Dick while he was standing on a pedestal." Ha! That gets me thinking -- that Power of Veto competition ended by asking if Jen or Dick could stand on a pedestal the longest. This is one reality show that knows how to set up a visual metaphor -- kinda like in the first episode where they were spinning around with muck being thrown on them.

The showmance and the uncomfortable love triangle

Eviction night shows are when we get a couple features on the houseguests that goes outside of the Big Brother house. Tonight, they couldn't help but visit Danielle's boyfriend, Kris. I've always felt a unsure if the daddy/daughter part of the "enemies" twist was uncomfortable or just bearable. It's one thing to stick ex-boyfriends in the same house in the hopes of seeing sparks, but estranged family members seems very right on the line. The love triangle between the Nick/Danielle showmance and Danielle's off-screen boyfriend has been far past the line, heavy into uncomfortable territory.

The way Big Brother talks to Kris doesn't make things any easier. Supportive statements from Kris get juxtaposed with images of Danielle and Nick snuggling, hanging out and getting under the covers, with captions that suggest they're planning on kissing under the blankets. I'm surprised Big Brother producers could resist the urge to call him something unkind in the captions.

Kris says what he has to say: "Before she left the house Danielle told me straight up. She said, 'Kris, I love you. I want to be with you and you have to trust me.' and that's what I'm basing everything off of." Smart guy, I'm sure this showmance is eating him up, but when the reality TV producers come knocking you don't want to make any comments that'll be used against you afterwards. Be angry or hurt in private, when the cameras aren't around.

News flash: Jen's not a dim bulb, but she plays one on TV

Jen got the other feature tonight, with Julie Chen asking if she's really "a vain, robotic bitch who's favorite word is 'I.'" Did Julie Chen just say "bitch?" That seems so uncharacteristically emotional. We visit to her mother, Anita and one of her friends, Kara. We also see plenty of her modeling pictures. I'm sure Jen will be happy about that part. Kara reveals that she told Jen to play dumb, followed by clips of Jen's dumbest hits -- she slams into a glass and giggles, she tells Mike she was "memorized" by him instead of "mesmerized". The best part comes when she tells Kail, "I plan my life based on my hair -- 'Do you want to do this?' 'Nah, my hair's going to be dirty that day.'" After hearing that I'm starting to suspect that Jen's written some Coupling fanfic, because that's exactly the kind of logic her patron saint, Jane would use. I'm dying to ask the Big Brother version of Jen how she picks who ends up on speed dial numbers for her cell phone.

Anita sighs that "(Jen)'s made a bad first impression." And Kara tries to defend Jen's tears over her bad photo by saying that, as a model, she's used to nitpicking her photos for the slightest flaws. At this point I'm so blinded by her channeling of Gina Bellman I'm willing to think this was her first move in playing dumb -- a ruse she's playing on the Big Brother producers, as well.

Meanwhile, Dick is, apparently, able to see through Jen's act and has tried to stage a one-man intervention. Wait, would that just be a confrontation? "You'd do better off if you showed people more of this chick who's smarter than this @#$% she's putting off."

One question this all brings up -- can a woman get far in Big Brother if the other houseguests think she's smart? I'd guess Jen has decided that's not the case. On the other hand, Jameka comes off as a very smart woman and hasn't suffered for it, so far. Jen's dumb act, meanwhile, has made her several different players' target.

Head of Household

This week's Head of Household competition is "The Eliminator" where houseguests race to answer questions in order to eliminate challenges to the HoH throne. Usually, in this kind of game, the house pecking order gets revealed quickly. Indeed, Jen, Zach and Kail are the first eliminated from the game. Then, Nick is cut from the game -- does that mean he's still seen as part of the Conference Room Alliance? Finally, Eric gets himself eliminated and Dustin beats Jameka on the last question, winning HoH for himself.

So. This week we have Dustin as Head of Household. This could be interesting or very boring. The whole house has their sights set on three targets right now, and the easiest thing would be to just focus on getting two of them out. It wouldn't cause any waves.

Other notable moments:

• During the voting Julie Chen asked Eric that if they let the viewers vote on who he should start a showmance with, who would he hope to see win. Eric answered, "You know I might not be the best looking guy in the house but I'm the Casanova of the house. Anyone is far game -- men, women." I'm ready to go back to campaigning for a Dustin/Eric showmance. Why not, it'll give Joe a laugh at home.
• Meanwhile, can we ask America's Player to slap Dick every time he says "It is what it is." Please? That phrase is starting to seriously grate. Maybe Eric could get into a slap bet with Dick and Neil Patrick Harris could make another Big Brother guest appearance as Slap Bet Commissioner.
• How 'bout that bit of Dick exiting an alliance meeting to pass gas? Live feed viewers are familiar with crude noises coming from Dick, but this is the first time it's made it to the primetime edition. I wondered if this was the end of the sympathetic portray we've been seeing of Dick, but they redeemed him with his tough love words to Jen.